


To Climb Khenarthi's Breath

by AedricDaedra



Series: Living Under Void Nights [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls
Genre: All Khajiit forms, Continent expanding adventure, Creative License, Elsweyr, Gen, Khajiit - Freeform, Khajiit lore heavy, No Romance, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, POV Multiple, Void Nights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-09 01:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 60,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15256299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AedricDaedra/pseuds/AedricDaedra
Summary: After having to flee Elsweyr when they were framed for the Mane's death, Khinashi and her friends now travel across the rest of Tamriel to try and find out what caused the disappearance of Masser and Secunda, and how to bring the False Mane down from power. Meanwhile, they learn of a secret power within one of them that could be the solution they're looking for...





	1. Prologue: The Dark Side of the Moons

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the sequel to Living Under Void Nights: When Jone and Jode Fail, so if you haven't read that, it would definitely help to know more of the characters involved and where they're coming from.

J'zhar let his legs hang off of the central market bridge, and rested his head on his arms as he watched the sunset, while the trees around Torval turned gold in its presence. He would not have to worry about being trampled on, not at this point. It was getting late, and most are returning home for dinner, to be with their family for the remaining hours of the day. He should too, really, but for some reason he stayed, and waited a little longer, just as he has for the past two hours...

He sighed upon remembering that, and clenched his eyes shut from the glaring, blinding light. It was not the first time, and it will surely not be the last. Once more she has forgotten, or felt something else was more important. Whatever the case, it was too late for their plan now anyway, there was little point in remaining.

After several minutes of silence, he heard footsteps pressing on the hardwood bridge, which made his ears twitch. He opened his eyes only to close them after realizing the sun was directly in his view now. He could tell it was one of the Suthay or Tojay forms by the sound of their footsteps- naturally more quiet than those who walk on their heels.

J'zhar opened his eyes slowly, and noticed a large obstruction blocking the sun, in the form of a Suthay girl looking down at him with a curious and happy expression, ready at any moment to burst out laughing. A normal expression for her, really. Her tawny coloured, striped fur looked darker with the sun behind her.

"You know, your big head is a good shade against the sun. Do you think you could stay like that for awhile?"

Within a moment she jerked her head away, letting the rays blind him once more. J'zhar rolled to the side and pushed himself off of the ground.

"Rajhin's whiskers, Khinashi, you decided to finally show up after all. This one is more than a little surprised."

"Khinashi is sorry, she had to help Ma'ketra today. She had gotten into some trouble at the plantation, and had to stay to help Zalani clean up. If this one did not help her, she would have been there all night...She doubts Ma'ketra will be allowed in there again, Zalani was furious."

"That would have made a good distraction for our heist, no? It is a shame we did not take advantage of it."

"This one is sure we could think of some other way to distract her when we are ready for it."

"Which will not be today - It is too late. She will be returning home if she has not already." J'zhar said with a disappointed sigh.

"This one apologizes...Khinashi will try to not let it happen again."

J'zhar snorted incredulously.

"Hah, like you said last time? Or the time before that? We have been planning for this since a week ago, Khinashi, and every time something comes up, every time something else. First it was magic training, then it was recovering from magic training, and then – what was it again yesterday? Hmm?"

"Khinashi admits, yesterday was her fault. Father had returned from his trip to Corinthe, and this one wanted to hear about what happened there, and lost track of time. There was a big murder investigation, the sister of one of the cities two big tribes leader's-"

"Yes, yes, you told this one, it just did not seem worth remembering."

J'zhar folded his arms and shook his head, and Khinashi looked away in shame, fearing to meet his gaze.

"What will it be tomorrow? Hmm? Will it be raining and you will not want to be wet? Will you sprain a leg to get out of it? Have you already decided on what you are planning, so you can avoid telling him this is just something you do not want to do?"

Khinashi frowned at this, but then rose to meet his eyes and smiled.

"Khinashi said she would help you, and so she will. If this one did not want to, she would not have asked to help you with it, silly. This one has just been too busy lately."

"Yes, well it is starting to feel like something else..."

Something about what he said made him feel guilty, and regret his choice of words, and then embarrassment when he noticed Khinashi must have found it funny. He shrugged his shoulders and turned away. It was his turn to fear her gaze.

He was caught off guard, then, when she suddenly leapt forward and licked his muzzle.

Utter confusion was written over his face as he turned to Khinashi, who returned to her normal near-bursting laughter expression, and holding her hands behind her back.

"Um, did you just...lick this one?"

"Yes." Was all she said, still holding back a laugh.

"Why? What does that even mean?"

Khinashi opened her mouth, but then paused for a moment, seeming to change her mind on what to say.

"It means whatever you want it to mean, M'zhar."

"This one is not sure what he wants it to mean."

"Well then you should think about that and get back to Khinashi on it."

For a few more moments there was silence, and he relaxed a bit from his earlier tension. Then he laughed.

"You forget already, Khinashi? This one is J'zhar now, he is of age now to no longer go by M'zhar. As are you, if you wish. You could be J'nashi, or maybe Ja'shi?"

Khinashi rolled her eyes.

"You know this one cares not for honorifics. Not unless they mean something special - M'zhar or J'zhar, it merely means your age. You do not really earn your age. This one thinks Azhargo sounded better anyway."

"Hmm, you could be La'nashi, then? This one thinks you have earned that."

"Hah, call this one La'nashi and you will be on your own with this heist, Ja'khajiit. No, Khinashi will be Khinashi, until she earns a title worth wearing, if ever."

"What was that you did not want to be called? J'zhar apologizes, he does not have good hearing, you may have to repeat it, within ear shot."

J'zhar backed away and turned his ears to the side, waiting until Khinashi realized, before breaking out into a full sprint for the edge of Torval. It was never wise to leave the city into the rainforest after dark, and as it took about a half hour to reach his home overlooking the valley outside, this was as late as he could stay. At least their tag race would make his waiting not all for nothing.

J'zhar was naturally faster, as a Suthay-raht, but Khinashi was more agile, and so while he kept a steady distance ahead of her, at times she nearly broke the distance with her shortcuts. She skipped entire flights of stairs, hurdled over benches and railings - at times she seemed less interested in the race itself, than for turning it into an acrobatic performance.

So it was a foregone conclusion as he waited for her to catch up when he reached the bottom of the stairs leading out to the north path of town. She rolled after hitting the ground at the bottom, ignoring half of the stair's existence.

"Not bad, Khinashi, although you might have had a better chance at winning if you did not try to jump over every obstacle within your line of sight. This one was hoping you might be able to keep up with him, ah well."

"Not everything has to be a competition, you know. It can be for fun, too."

"Oh, but competition is fun, Khinashi. The only reason you could disagree, is because you are losing so badly you cannot see it."

"Well in that case, if everything is a competition, this one must be winning the magic-learning one we are having!"

"True, true, you have him there, but only because J'zhar is letting you win. It would lose its fun if he won everything, no?"

"Well then, we will just have to settle the score tomorrow when we break into the Clan Mother's house, huh? Whoever gets the least sweets has to give the other half!"

"That sounds fair enough, so long as you do not mind losing – there really is no other outcome."

"We will see about that!"

* * *

Around the same time the next day, J'zhar sat upon the central bridge - their meeting spot - once more. He watched as people passed through the market place, back to their houses. Once again she had not arrived at the time she said she would, and while there was still time yet, he was becoming doubtful.

He thought back to why he had suggested it in the first place: he enjoyed the thrill of stealing, the risks associated with it made the reward all the more fruitful, but it was the fun that drew him back for more. Being the son of the Mane's speaker meant he could afford most luxuries, so it was not for personal gain. Indeed, he would find breaking through several locks and sneaking past guards to steal a worthless item more compelling than looting a simple chest full of gold.

Perhaps that was why he chose the paranoid Clan Mother Zalani as their target, then. She kept a tight schedule and checked things religiously, the locks on her doors and security mechanisms befit the palace moreso than the two-story hut she lived in, like most did here. There were no guards to evade - at least not if they were successful - the challenge was more in leaving no trace, and being smart about it. It would be a good opportunity to teach her his skills in the art, and maybe not regret taking that path so much. His father knew, of course he knew, and judged him for it - but Khinashi did not, despite her not being a thief herself. She seemed more curious than resentful, and her own will to mischief helped forge a strong friendship over the years... Or so he thought at times, at others it felt weak, or non-existent, and this was one of those times.

Perhaps that was a side effect of really only having one friend, for J'zhar did not get along with others very well, not least of those being the rest of the House of Cats, who for the most part could not talk anyway. It surprised J'zhar how much time she spends with them - J'bar the Alfiq-raht, Nisha the Pahmar, or the twin Senches Ma'ketra and Ma'krin. None of them could speak words, and yet she would prefer their company over him, over her own kind, someone who could talk to her? It confused him at best – and at worst, he was envious, and this was one of those times.

The sound of footsteps broke him from his thoughts, only then making him realize it had been quiet for several minutes while he was thinking. There could still yet be time if they hurried, and so J'zhar wasted no time lifting up his head to see who approached, and to see if it was Khinashi.

He regretted looking so surprised, and hoped she would not have noticed it, but that thought lost a place in his mind as he noticed another approaching alongside her. Someone he had not seen before – she looked like a Bosmer from Valenwood, both in appearance and garb, and the uncertainty that was obvious in her every movement made it clear she was new here. It was hard to tell with elves for him, but she looked around his and Khinashi's age, if perhaps a little older judging by her height, but then that too was hard to tell with Bosmer in particular. J'zhar had not seen many, she might even be an Ohmes, but it was unusual for them to not tattoo their facial fur.

"J'zhar, Khinashi has someone she would like you to meet. Her name is Shabiyah, and she-"

"J'shabi," the newcomer corrected. "My...This one is called J'shabi."

Khinashi rolled her eyes at the comment.

"Well, J'shabi, then. She arrived in Torval today looking for Khinashi's father. She traveled here from Hammerfell all by herself! She will be living with Khinashi and the others at the House of Cats, and so this one is showing her around the city and teaching her of our culture, for she is new to these lands."

The frightened-looking Bosmer crossed her arms and dipped her head as a sign of respect, or tried to, incorrectly.

"Why do you mock us, Bosmer? Act and speak normally, do not pretend to be Khajiit. Some could take offense to that."

The girl visibly shifted at his words, she seemed extremely out of place, and ready at any moment to just run off, never to be seen again.

"Sorry! I...sorry-"

"She is not Bosmer, J'zhar - she is Ohmes, she is Khajiit like us!"

"She does not sound or look like most Ohmes."

"That is because she was not born here, and did not know much about us, she came here to learn, J'zhar. Do not be rude!"

J'zhar did not respond to this. He had nothing against the new Ohmes girl in particular, even if he did find her attempts to fit in as mockish. It was what she represented that annoyed him most. Her arrival here was no-doubt the reason for Khinashi's delay today, and as per usual with new arrivals, the following days would also be occupied as she introduced her to the rest of the city and our way of life. It would be a week at the least before she found time for the heist... unless he could convince her now.

"Ah, did you forget again of our plan for today Khinashi? Is that the fourth time now?"

"No..." Khinashi said, in a way that meant she would have preferred J'zhar not bring it up. The Ohmes spoke next.

"Oh, if you were busy, this one can just go back to your house, J'shabi does not want to be a burden. Sorry...This one did not mean-"

"Our house, it is your's too now, but no, J'shabi, you do not have to. It was nothing, it can wait." Khinashi directed the last three words toward J'zhar, with emphasis. "J'zhar, this one was hoping, maybe you could help Khinashi show J'shabi around a little bit before it gets too late? She is very curious to learn about the Two Moons Dance, and you know some of it, maybe you could teach her about it?"

J'zhar frowned and contemplated the idea, but could not help but feel a hint of betrayal, which made him feel bitter and spiteful. He stood up and turned away.

"Nah, J'zhar is too busy..." He said as he walked off toward home.

It did not take long for J'zhar to regret his words, or to feel that he may have acted childish, but he did not care enough to turn around. Instead, as he passed the Clan Mother's house, he figured he may as well pull off the sugar heist on his own, perhaps the thrill would clear his mind. It is not as if the situation will be any different later, anyway. Days to come, Khinashi will be busy with something else, and it will continue to be so, J'zhar felt he was always bound to be alone on his path, and that he should just get used to it.

* * *

J'zhar's chin smashed against the floor as he was pushed to the ground by the guards that brought him in. Afterward they unbound his wrists and left him there, leaving the main hall of his house.

He should feel thankful that his father waived his sentence in the Torval jail – he had no wish to spend any time there, he had heard the stories, as most have in the city, but all he could feel was betrayal.

There was still his father to endure, and his speeches alone were far worse than simply sitting in a cell. At least, they were at one point, J'zhar had learned to not care what he thinks, not anymore, and so when his Father approached him in the main hall of their palace, he did not run. J'zhar did not beg for forgiveness, or apologize. He was not afraid. He had been through this enough times to be able to recite what he would say before he could say it, or at least some of it.

At least, he thought so.

"So, not only are you a failure of a son, but even as a self-proclaimed thief, you cannot even get that right."

"Well, actually it was not J'zhar's fault he got caught...the new Ohmes girl had alerted Zalani while J'zhar was inside." J'zhar spat out the words. The Ohmes had ruined his day twice over already.

"Yes, Ra-Zara'chi heard the report. That does not make it any less your fault, you trusted her and she betrayed you."

"J'zhar never told her anything about it though, Father."

"And yet she knew?"

"Well, perhaps Khinashi told her..."

"Of course, then you trusted her and then she betrayed you."

It was not uncommon for Father to insult Khinashi or her family. It was no secret to anyone that he despised them, Jo'azha the Moon Hallowed in particular. Normally J'zhar would talk back or ignore his insults, but this time he was not sure what to think.

"You know how this one feels about you hanging around her, J'zhar - she is a bad influence to you. Remember that."

J'zhar had to snort at that, it was more likely the other way around.

"Yes Father, you make that quite clear, and quite often..."

"Yet you do not heed the advice."

"J'zhar never asked, or wanted advice, and if he did, he would not be asking you for advice concerning them."

J'zhar could tell what he would say next, and so he cut him off before he could.

"You only have contempt for the Moon Hallowed because he did not choose you to become Mane! Admit it, you let that blind you and grow hatred for him and his family, and you wish to share that hatred with J'zhar...but J'zhar does not see them as rivals."

"You shame this one by thinking his reasons are due to a petty political position. It is more than that, and that is not even a reason on its own!"

"Then perhaps you should make that more clear, Father, because that is what it looks like to J'zhar!"

His father's anger seemed to waver, and he was lost in deep thought. He turned away from J'zhar and took a few steps. J'zhar was not sure what was going to happen, he was expecting his father to lash out at him for demanding him to explain himself, like he usually did when he asked about him.

"This one and Jo'azha... it is not simply a matter of his choice so many years ago. While Ra-Zara'chi thinks he would have made a much better Mane, and it would surely have made things simpler...No, it is deeper than that. We have a different philosophical view on how certain problems in Elsweyr should be dealt with. Hmph, Jo'azha would not even consider it to be a problem..."

"What are you talking about Father? You are making no sense. What problem?"

Ra-Zara'chi's anger seemed to return to him. He turned around to face J'zhar, and did not look happy at being interrupted.

"What 'problem'? You know of what Ra-Zara'chi speaks, and yet you speak incredulously, you doubt him."

"Ah, you are speaking of the phases and our forms again..." J'zhar says with a sigh.

"The curse! How is it not a curse? Azurah has blinded you all into thinking it is a gift - and that is the worst part...we willingly subjugate ourselves to this demon in favour of our own demise, our own suffering!"

"This one does not see our forms as a curse, more or less an inconvenience, but it has its benefits too." J'zhar regretted bringing it up. His father could spend hours ranting over the moons.

"Jo'azha would agree with you, and yet there are cruelties that exist because of it, cruelties no Khajiit should have to burden. This one does not blame you for not seeing it- you are young, and have not yet seen the world. People try to hide it from you so you do not have to share the pain of knowing – but know this: It is not like what Jo'azha claims it to be, but much harsher...unnecessarily so."

"This one has grown up enough has he not? Perhaps he is old enough to know. Tell him, what is it like, hmm?" J'zhar asks humorously.

Ra-Zara'chi paced around the room silently for a few minutes before responding. Pondering on what to say. J'zhar's patience for him was wearing thin, by the time he finally spoke.

"What do you think of Elsweyr, J'zhar? Do you like this land? Do you like living here?"

"Well, we have never lived anywhere else, so he cannot really say. This one does not dislike it?"

"But you have the choice to leave if you wish. There is nothing stopping you from going anywhere in Tamriel, anywhere in the world."

"Okay...But how does that-"

"Because not all Khajiit have that choice. What do you think a group of Imperials would do, if they saw one of the Senche, or a pride of Pahmar? What would they do if they were to be walking around one of their cities in Cyrodiil?"

"This one does not know?"

"They would kill them. Or at best chase them out, they would not be allowed in the cities, and even outside of them, they would be hunted like animals, seen and treated as them, or at worst, monsters intent on slaying them. They would have no trial, no chance to explain themselves – not that they could be able to speak to do so. Even with one of our other kind to guide them, they would not be trusted. No, their only choice is to live in Elsweyr, they do not get the choice to travel the world."

"Well, that is unfortunate, but there are worse-"

"And even here, in their homeland, the only land they are allowed to live in, they cannot fully participate in society. Without the ability of speech they are reduced to a convoluted sign language that most do not even bother to learn – even amongst ourselves. They cannot go to markets and buy things, they cannot use tools without thumbs to use them. Their career choices are limited to functions capable within their form's limitations. They must live silently amongst most who they cannot speak to, finding what small enjoyment they can get out of what few things they are able to do."

"Hmm, this one supposes that is-"

"And when you have traveled with me outside of Torval, when we have visited small villages, have you ever noticed any of our larger forms amongst them? The Senche and the Senche-raht?"

"Now that you mention it, no. Is there a reason-"

"That is because there are none. In the poorer parts of Elsweyr, in villages that struggle to gather enough food for themselves, it would be impossible to sustain a Senche's demanding diet, one that requires a village's worth of food on its own. No, J'zhar, there are no Senche amongst them because when their children are born under that phase they must kill them, and that is considered the merciful choice. Selling them into slavery to feed the village is the other option. You must have wondered why Khajiit have become the second most enslaved race by the Dunmer fiends? They do not come and capture us here like they did the Argonians – no, Khajiit handed over their family members to them! They lived like cattle amongst them, J'zhar! Bred for more slaves, living a life of servitude, to which their own children would know no other! It is not as bad here in the south, where food is plentiful, but in the north...the nomadic tribes are not nomadic simply for the sake of it."

"Okay, Father, this one sees what you mean...you can stop-"

"And you fancy yourself a thief? Do you even know why most Khajiit take to thievery in the first place?"

"This one is not sure he wants to know..."

"What other path do you think those two-legged Khajiit, born and raised by those whom cannot speak – cannot teach them normal ways of society? They do not know how to read, or how to write! Some do not even learn to speak until much later. Their only option is to steal or kill to get by and support their families. They live outside of society, or leave Elsweyr to live a life of banditry amongst the wilds. That is why our race is so ill-begotten throughout the other lands, J'zhar!"

J'zhar could not find the will to speak, for he knew his father would interrupt him and continue anyway, until he felt he made his point.

"These and many more unspoken are the cruelties that truly exist, J'zhar, and only because of our curse. To accept that those cruelties exist and still see our state of being as anything less than a curse is to advocate them, and Ra-Zara'chi...Does. Not. Advocate them."

"J'zhar can see that, Father, this one does not think anyone could think otherwise."

"Hmph, and Jo'azha would claim to seek to mend our problems - these problems, but he is nothing but an idealist. He lacks the conviction to make any meaningful difference, and only proves the full extent of them in the process. This...House of Cats and similar approaches he takes are merely a bandage solution to a bleeding problem that deserves a more prominent and permanent path of action. This is something that Ra-Zara'chi has made it his life's goal to seek, and will not stop until he sees it done! It is true, the resources Ra-Zara'chi would have had as Mane would have allowed searching for a solution to be much simpler, but Ra-Zara'chi will find a way regardless, of that you can be sure...Now tell me, son, is that wrong? Is Ra-Zara'chi wrong to wish to stop these cruelties? To break our curse?"

J'zhar thought long before answering his question. At first he was scared, Father's voice was full of anger, and clearly very passionate about what he speaks. J'zhar must respect him for that much. It is certainly not the first time he has ranted about the moons, Azurah, or our forms, and definitely not about Jo'azha, but to have it laid plain - in front of him - his reasons for such, made it more understandable for why he thinks this way. Even though J'zhar would still not go so far as to say it is a curse, it does show that it is not as fanciful as it is made out to be by most Khajiit who worship the moons.

"J'zhar does not think you are wrong, Father...perhaps just a little obsessed."

His father's anger left him completely, and he relaxed his shoulders and approached J'zhar.

"Perhaps you are right, J'zhar. Ra-Zara'chi is sorry, sometimes he forgets...It is just, it comes from personal experience, and that clouds his judgment sometimes."

"What do you mean, Father? You never say much about your past."

"And now will be no different. This one is sorry, but those secrets will go to his grave. Suffice to say, Ra-Zara'chi has seen the dark side of the moons more than most – enough to know we deserve to be free of them. Your mother's unnecessary sacrifice was the final act that pushed him over the edge."

"Sacrifice? What do you mean? You told this one she died in childbirth."

"And that was not a lie, but it was not the full truth. Perhaps it is time for you to know the rest."

J'zhar's father beckoned him out of the main hall, to a deck that overlooked the valley. The sight of the trees so far below, and the city of Torval within them was always a beautiful sight. In the summer seasons, J'zhar would often watch the rain and thunderstorms from here. Watching, over time, as the valley flooded, up close to the bridges upon which the city was situated. It would take some weeks before it got there, sometimes it never did, other times it risked going further. Now, approaching the closing months of the year, it was completely dry – or as dry as a rainforest could get.

"In the ancient days, thousands of years ago, when the first empire was expanding across Tamriel, Elsweyr – although not known as Elsweyr then, it was vastly divided – had an internal conflict. Outside influence was also expanding, and while Elsweyr never entered the empire officially, their cultures and way of life seeped into our lands. As all of the other races can talk, and walk on two feet, these cultural traits reflected that, and in a sense, uplifted the Khajiit who also did this. Before this time, Khajiiti culture was balanced, and there was little separating us from our four-legged brethren, but afterwards...they were seen as lesser forms."

"How does this have anything to do with how Mother died?"

"This one is getting to that, J'zhar...When they were seen as 'lesser forms', it was natural for some to wish their children would be of a two-legged form, and so they worked out a way to bypass how the phases dictate their form at birth, but at great risk to both the mother and the child, or children. This process became illegal following the rise of the Lunar Pride, and over time forgotten, but Dunmer slaver fiends reinvented it and to this day continue the practice when breeding Khajiiti slaves, to ensure they become Suthay-raht at birth. The Dunmer simply call it 'Moonbreeding'."

"This one is Suthay-raht..."

"Moonbreeding can be used to cause any form to be born, not just Suthay-raht. Anyway, those who study the phases and patterns are able to discern a rough idea of what phase an unborn Khajiit will be born under, the amount of available information determining the accuracy. Your mother and this one, we sought out these people, and the result was...not what we wanted to hear."

"What was it?"

"The certainty of which form you would have become is not completely accurate, but it would have either been an Alfiq, an Alfiq-raht, a Senche-raht, or possibly an Ohmes. You would have been no more than a pet, or a mount to some Cathay to ride into battle, and even the best outcome would have resulted in you not even looking like either of us, but you would have been able to talk at least. We did not want our child to live a restricted life, and so we sought other avenues."

"And you learned of the moonbreeding practice?"

"Yes. When we did, Ra-Zara'chi immediately rejected the idea, to lose your mother, Vajira...and maybe you as well...No, this one would have learned to live with an Alfiq son, or whatever you would have been. Your mother did not agree with him. Against all his wishes, she underwent the process regardless, while the moons lit the sky of the phase of the Suthay-raht, more than a month earlier than you would have been born. She took the risk for you, J'zhar, so that you might be able to live an unrestricted life, one of your own choosing, not one the moons chose for you...That is why she died."

J'zhar opened and closed his mouth, unable to think of how to respond. Tears drenched his cheeks as the realization that his mother quite literally gave her life for him to live as a Suthay-raht sank in. He was not sure what to think. He tried to imagine himself as an Alfiq, and having his mother sitting by him, and if he would be happy. Would he have even been here? Would he too have lived in the House of Cats, away from his parents? He would never be able to speak, or to walk on two legs, all of the things he is used to doing would be replaced by something else. He would have been a completely different person. He would barely fit the criteria for being a person...

J'zhar never felt pity for the four-legged before, he had imagined they lived happy lives as well, but if he were ever given a direct choice, to be a Suthay-raht or an Alfiq, the answer was obvious.

Was his father right, then? Are the moons a curse to be lifted? Are the multitude of forms just a suffering placed on Khajiit for Azurah's amusement? If the forms did not exist, his mother would not have had to sacrifice herself, and he would still be...what would he be? He would be the same as them, and in the end...that was all that mattered.


	2. All Cats are Grey

She was dead. She had to be. Dar'Zhar-do could not think of any way they would have managed to survive with the entire Corinthe guard force after them. He did not care much for most of them, especially not the Ohmes, but he would never wish them dead. Khinashi was his friend once, he remembered that, perhaps he has always. He could not hurt her let alone kill her like his father ordered...but then he did kill her. He helped track them down, drew pictures of them so they would be found. He was just as responsible as Dazlah and the Krin themselves. Dar'Zhar-do is a murderer.

There was hope, once, when news returned by Pahmar courier that something was wrong with the posters. His father immediately blamed him, purposely sabotaging the depictions so they could escape. For once, that was one offense Dar'Zhar-do was not responsible for, but he had wished he was, for it would mean he would have at least tried to help. He should have lied and said he did, for it would have at least saved the prisoners from the terrible things done to them in the following interrogation.

It was not enough- could not be enough. Dar'Zhar-do had kept a spare copy for himself, and the fastest Pahmar courier available was sent to bring it back. They would have arrived in Corinthe the same day they left, without stops. That was a few days ago.

Since then Dar'Zhar-do has lost the will to do anything much of anything. He could not do sword-training with Rajirr like his father asked, he could not eat, and during what little sleep he did manage to get, memories of his past would return to haunt him. It was as if his subconscious was reminding him of what he lost- what he was responsible for destroying. All of the barriers he built for himself have become too heavy to hold, and so he no longer tried to hide how he feels. He simply no longer cared to hide it.

It did not feel like this before. Ever since his father told him about the harsh truth of the curse, he respected him. He looked up to him, and above all, he agreed with him. Now, seeing it all take place...Dar'Zhar-do was confused and unsure again. Killing his own twin brother, and impersonating him as the Mane...imprisoning innocent people, killing Jo'azha and hunting down his family... Those things did not feel right. Not at all. Did something change? Is this not what he had talked about those years ago? Or was he hiding the harsh truth of his own plan, alike he felt the truth of the curse was kept from him? Ever since he returned from Dune, he has seemed different- more prone to his fits of anger, and then sadistic and cruel at times, which was unlike him before, and it has only gotten worse after the murder. Perhaps, being so close to achieving his goal, he too no longer cares to hide his true feelings. Perhaps Dar'Zhar-do never really knew his father until then. Maybe he never knew himself.

"A new era for our people is dawning, son, look alive and cherish these times! What we do now will pave the course of Khajiit life for generations to come!"

"Yes father..."

He had almost forgotten he was still sitting next to him at the dinner table, and that he was supposed to be eating. Dar'Zhar-do does not know how long he has been talking, if it was to him or what he was saying at all. He did not care, there was really nothing he could say that would make him feel better. It was simply much easier to nod his head and act like he was paying any attention to him.

"Generations that will be able to go anywhere, do anything, and talk to anyone! Amongst much more...When they realize that, they will understand - You will understand! Those who fail to realize- those who would oppose this gift will be given no mercy, son. A necessary evil to achieve a much greater good. Do not pity them, but if you must, then take solace in knowing they will be with the moons they so overly covet."

"Yes father..."

"And know that when they look back down in decades to come, they will see how foolish they were to think that such a chaotic society could ever succeed at much. They will learn eventually, even if it is not in life. We will prove it to them! Your misguided sympathy will pass, do not worry. It will take time, but you will learn it is for the best to let it go."

"Yes father..."

Ra-zara'chi sighed, and Dar'Zhar-do continued to stare vacantly at nothing.

"You are not really listening to this one, are you?"

The doors to the dinner hall cracked open, and one of his father's Ohmes-raht advisors approached the two Khajiit with rising confusion. Dar'Zhar-do did not look up to see him.

"Yes fath-"

Dar'Zhar-do felt the swift pain of a staff being swung into his stomach, by the only remaining hand his father possessed. He dropped to the ground from his chair, winded from the blow.

The Ohmes-raht must have been out of ear-shot to hear Dar'Zhar-do's low-murmuring tone, and he must have thought better than to ask what might have warranted such an attack.

"Mane Rid-Rawl'vah...Why do you still wear your ceremonial headdress? In your own home, alone, surely it makes it difficult to move around?"

"Surely you did not come to speak to him to ask such an impertinent question. State your business."

"Ah, yes...This one's apologies...News has arrived from Corinthe, Mane. Unfortunately, the assassins have escaped capture before our team arrived to retrieve them. There was a riot in the city at the time, and during the confusion, they managed to slip away. There is more: The bounty squad you sent after them have perished, presumably from the riot itself, although there is a report that a Khajiit matching agent Dazlah's description was seen being carried off a female Dagi or Dagi-raht. Their trail was lost not far outside of the city however, the team was unable to pursue a rescue attempt."

Ra-Zara'chi growled from anger and frustration.

"Do we know where they might have fled? A direction, sightings, anything?"

"Unfortunately not. The riot caused quite a confusion, and threatened to engulf the whole city in its destruction before a group of Khajiit managed to cease the hostilities causing them. During that time, the assassins were the last thing on their minds. This one is sorry, Mane, but they could well be out of Elsweyr by now if they moved fast."

Dar'Zhar-do finally comprehended the words the advisor was saying, and he felt more alive than he had felt for nearly a week. He pulled himself up off of the ground, and found it difficult to hide his appreciation for the news. Dar'Zhar-do felt his father's eyes upon him, studying him, and he knew he could tell as well. The advisor just looked confused.

"They will not be out of our grasp for long. We must send scouts to locate them, even if they have left Elsweyr, we will not lose track of-!"

"Umm, Mane Rid-rawl'vah?"

"What?"

"Well, if this one might suggest...Perhaps it is unnecessary to send scouts after them? Without the moons, Elsweyr is having problems of its own, and could use more resources to keep things under control. We should not spread them too thinly. After all, all of Elsweyr will know about the assassins by now, and so if they are still here, we will hear word of their capture, or at least sightings soon. If they have left Elsweyr...then it is only a matter of time before they meet their fate or are forced to return. Your brother's betrayal was a surprise to us all, but he was right on some things. The people of Cyrodiil, and much moreso the other provinces, will not take kindly to our more beast-like forms, half of which are amongst them. They will be seen as trespassers at best, and at worst...Well, they will not be a problem for Elsweyr anymore."

Dar'Zhar-do saw the truth in the advisor's words, but still, at least it could convince Father not to send more people after them.

"Hmm...Very well. In the meantime, prepare a public execution for tomorrow afternoon. It is time we show what happens to traitors. The ones in the cell have overstayed their welcome."

"Rid-rawl'vah? You are sure? Zalani and Tatanja are still very popular figures amongst Torval, and some still question their involvement in the assassination attempt. You have not ordered anyone's execution in many years, it might not be wise to-"

"They have already proven their guilt as traitors by helping the others escape Corinthe. Even behind bars they have shown they can disrupt things. We cannot allow them the chance to do so any further."

"Very well, Mane. This one will have it arranged. It still does not seem like a good idea, but-"

"Rid-rawl'vah has spoken."

The Ohmes-raht nodded silently and scurried off through the doors he entered.

"Leave." Was all Ra-Zara'chi said to his son, but in such a tone that meant it was not up for debate, and so Dar'Zhar-do left.

As he closed the doors behind him, he could almost not believe the words he had heard. His father was about to have four of the most influential people in the city killed because they took offense to the idea that his father killed his own brother and was impersonating him, and were willing to do something about it. Dar'Zhar-do did not like his father's actions up to this point, but this...this was too far.

At first Dar'Zhar-do felt sad, and was about to return to his reclusive self he had been only minutes ago, but it soon turned to anger. Being sad meant you knew something was going to happen that you did not like. Anger meant you were willing to do something about it.

* * *

Dar'Zhar-do went over the plan in his head several times more, but he could not figure out a way to do it by himself. His father no doubt suspected he might try something, and so doubled the watch for their cells at all times. They have orders not to let anyone see the prisoners, and more specifically, if they see Dar'Zhar-do anywhere near their cell, to report him to Ra-Zara'chi.

That meant Zhar could not be seen by them at all, but they are the only ones who have the key to their cells. He considered the idea of picking it, but he has seen those locks, it would take too long.

Distracting them would be a necessity as well. Even if he managed to somehow slip past them unnoticed and steal their keys, the prisoners would not be able to do the same. They would have the entire guard force down on them within minutes. Dar'Zhar-do would also be known to be responsible for their escape. It would be him sitting in a cell next, in that case.

It was a two-cat job, no matter which way he looked at it, and there is no one he could trust with it. If people knew the truth that the Mane was actually Ra-Zara'chi, then of course...but either they would not believe him, or the entirety of Torval would rise up against his father and kill him. Dar'Zhar-do does not agree with his father's methods, but he is his father nonetheless, and he is right about their curse, he wants to help Elsweyr...right? He is simply misguided, and is making a mistake. Dar'Zhar-do does this only to help his father, and because he does not believe they need to die.

But without anyone to help him, they just might.

Dar'Zhar-do was surprised when he heard the knocking on his door. He had been so lost in thought he did not hear them climb the stairs or walk the hall. Was his father sending someone to keep watch on him even now?

"Yes? What is it?"

"You got a moment? I need to talk to you. It's important."

It was Rajirr's voice, one of his father's two henchcats who do jobs for him that others could not. Apparently his latest task was to train him, but it seems obvious his father's real intention was to try and make him 'understand' the good of his efforts. It was funny listening to him talk about it, because it was clear he did not really care at all about the situation. He was just hired help, and it showed.

"Sure, whatever. Just hurry up, this one is busy."

"I take it you heard already about what happened at Corinthe?"

Zhar nodded, confused, while he thought about how that had anything to do with him needing to talk to him.

"Ah, hmm...Oh, sorry to hear about what happened to your friend, but this one guesses it happens to the best of us, no?"

Rajirr scoffed at his words.

"Look, I'm not Ra-Zara'chi, you don't need to put on any act around me. It's Dazlah, no one likes him, he's an idiot at the best of times, and honestly I'm not surprised he managed to muck up the job."

"So why are you telling Dar'Zhar-do this, hmm?"

"Well, It is about Dazlah. In the report, they said something about him being captured and taken away from the city by some Dagi-raht girl?"

"Perhaps. To be honest this one was a bit more interested in the other events they were talking about..."

"Was the name 'Dar'nari' ever mentioned?"

"No? This one does not think so, why? Did you not hear the same thing as this one?"

"Yeah...It's just...I think that might be who captured him, and if it is..."

Rajirr stopped mid-sentence and looked over Dar'Zhar-do, as if judging something about him.

"Look, I know you're not all into your dad's big plan, not like some of the others in-the-know are here. Can I trust you to keep a secret from him?"

"That all depends on what it is really. This one is just confused as to why any of this should concern Dar'Zhar-do..."

"Dar'nari is the leader of the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary in Corinthe. She's been trying to track us down, but it's really been Dazlah she was after mostly, and if she got him...I need to break him out, but I can't do it myself."

"Wait...Are not you and Dazlah from the Dark Brotherhood? Why would someone else from your group want to capture you?"

"That's the thing. We're not exactly Dark Brotherhood assassins, at least, not anymore. Your dad hired us because he thought we were, but really...Well, uh, Dazlah overheard your father chanting the black sacrament one day – that's a ritual people do when they try to summon them. So he answered the summons himself, posing as one of them. He wanted to steal the job as a way to get back at the brotherhood and Dar'nari, and that's how we got in this whole situation working for him. If I'd have known just how much he was gonna have us do...Well, it's too late for regrets now."

"Hmph, this one doubts Dazlah could have heard any chanting from so far away, we do not exactly live inside the city. You came here for another purpose."

"Alright alright, so what if we were gonna loot the place before we heard him? You call yourself a thief too, you can't blame us for that. This place is loaded with stuff!"

"Fair enough. This one is guessing the brotherhood did not take kindly to you impersonating them?"

"What? No, well, I don't know. They probably don't even know yet if they ever will, your dad wasn't really doing the ritual right anyway, but that isn't the point. Dazlah got us kicked out of the brotherhood after he got Dar'nari mad at him awhile back, that's why we left. That was long before we showed up here."

"So let Dar'Zhar-do get this straight: You are coming to him to ask him for assistance in risking his life to free Dazlah from a group of professional assassins? Why should this one help you? You claim to have tried stealing from his home, lied to his father about who you are, and have failed at almost every job his father has given you so far. For all this one knows, Dazlah might even deserve his fate. He did not seem very nice while he was here, and Dar'nari...well, she is unknown to Dar'Zhar-do."

"I know I'm asking a lot, and you don't really have any reason to want to help him or me, but hear me out: No one deserves the fate he'll be put through if it's true Dar'nari has him. Look, I know I can't say much – I'm a killer. I steal and kill people for a living, but there's murderers and assassins, and then there's Dar'nari. Almost everyone has morals, an invisible line they don't cross, for some that line's further up than for others, but for Dar'nari...Dar'nari doesn't just kill...She enjoys killing. She brings people back to torture them, for no reason other than entertainment. She steals their souls with gems and sells them to mages, and sells their corpses to necromancers. If it's a Khajiit she skins them and sells their fur to the Fur Trader. Sometimes she keeps them alive and sells them off to slavery, and others she keeps as thralls for her vampiric associates. There's nothing she won't do and that's why Dazlah ticked her off. Even he had enough, so he ruined one of her operations. I don't know why he did it but she hated him for it ever since."

"Hmm, this one sees..."

"What she does to a victim any day is bad enough, but when she wants revenge...Even the rest of the brotherhood cringes. Dazlah may have been an idiot, and wasn't much better than Dar'nari herself, but as much as I hate to admit it, he was my friend, and he was right about her. I just can't sit and do nothing knowing what she'd do to him. That's the kind of stuff that haunts someone for the rest of their life. I don't want that."

"It sounds like he could already be dead then, no?"

"Maybe, that is a possibility, but her victims can sometimes last awhile if she wants it to, and well, she and Dazlah go way back, from their childhood. They were friends – more than friends, so that's just all the more reason she'd make it the longest, most painful experience for him, because in her eyes he betrayed her trust, and she never trusted anyone else."

Dar'Zhar-do thought over Rajirr's words. At first he was not really considering it, he had no obligation to help him, and Dazlah was sent to kill Khinashi, why would he want to help him? He could be sent after them again if he freed him. Then again, perhaps his father would simply dismiss him since he already failed twice.

That does not justify why he should risk his life to do so. No one deserves such a fate as Rajirr described but such things are a common occurrence around the world, no one can save them all, why save a murderer from their own fate when truly innocent people share the same? Who is to say the same would not happen to Dar'Zhar-do if he tried but failed to rescue him?

"Dar'Zhar-do apologizes, Rajirr, but that is something you must do alone, or ask someone else. It is just too risky for this one to get involved."

Rajirr looked disappointed, but nodded his head.

"Well, I can't. I've thought it over, but it's not something I can do alone. I can't really ask anyone else either or I risk your dad finding out, but alright. Dazlah will just have to face his fate I guess..."

Rajirr turned around and left the room. Dar'Zhar-do could not help but feel guilty, as if he was sentencing Dazlah to his fate, but he knew it was not his fight. He had his own rescue mission to plan. One that he still cannot figure out how to do...alone...

Dar'Zhar-do ran out of his room and called after Rajirr before he could go too far.

* * *

"I still don't get why you want to help them." Rajirr says,as he and Zhar walk through the empty bridges of Torval.

"You do not have to understand why, you just have to help him, that will be enough."

"Yeah yeah, I said I would, and I'm gonna. Just don't try and pull a fast one on me and walk out after this is all over. You're getting Dazlah out of the sanctuary after this."

Dar'Zhar-do was actually considering that. He was alright with Rajirr's plan for him to join the Dark Brotherhood temporarily to free Dazlah after this is all over...until it got to the point where he explained just how he would be recruited by the cold-blooded assassins. There is only one way to be contacted by the Dark Brotherhood properly...and that is to murder someone. To take a life in cold blood, either someone significant enough to attract their attention, or brutally enough. The mere thought that Dar'Zhar-do will have to kill someone in the near future...He had thought himself a murderer earlier, or just as guilty as one, but there is a big difference between causing someone's death, and taking it directly. He would do anything to get out of that.

But without Rajirr's help, four would die, and they were people he knew. He never really understood the Nord, and his interactions with Zalani and Jo'banja were never pleasant, but he knew Tatanja to some extent, and knew about her more from Khinashi.

"Yes, Rajirr, this one knows..." Zhar finally responds.

"They won't thank you for it, you know."

Dar'Zhar-do was amused by his words.

"What do you mean? Of course they will! This one will be saving them, why would they not thank him, hmm?"

"They won't see it like that. You're their most hated enemy's son. They won't trust you."

"You speak nonsense, Rajirr."

"Just be ready."

Dar'Zhar-do was still confused as to why he brought that up, but there was no time to think on it. They approached the wooden support tower that led down to the Torval jail, beneath the surface. Only tonight did Dar'Zhar-do realize just how dark it is without the moons hanging in the sky. Even as a Khajiit, in the areas where the trees above block the light of the stars, his vision was restricted in ways he was not used to.

They parted ways and nodded to each other, to indicate they understood the plan. Rajirr walked through the door of the tower to descend the inner stairs, but Dar'Zhar-do could not risk being spotted by any guards along the way, and so took to the outer bridge stairs not too far away that descended to the surface.

As the Suthay-raht met with the walls of the tower he could hear Rajirr and the attendant at the service desk talking.

"-you see a small diamond-encrusted moon-shaped earring around here by any chance? Pretty sure I dropped it outside a few minutes ago on my way back home, been looking all over for it."

"This one regrets he has not seen anything like that."

"Damn, well, that thing was extremely valuable, could go for thousands of gold, that's like what, a month of your pay probably? It'd be a shame if someone found it and kept it for themselves, but that's probably what happened. I looked all over except outside on the surface here, probably fell off the bridges up top, but I'm not about to go clawing around in the grass for it. Just thought I'd check here in case you found it, but now I'm headin' home."

"That is a...shame, no? Well, hopefully no one will find it until the morning when you can look for it, hmm?"

"Yeah."

Rajirr walked back up the stairs, and inevitably the service attendant's greed got the better of him and Dar'Zhar-do saw the Ohmes walk out of the door to go look for that thousand-septim earring, leaving the ground floor vacant.

Rajirr ran back down the stairs as Dar'Zhar-do climbed in one of the windows from outside, and poured over the desk looking for the keys.

"We've gotta hurry, it probably won't be too long until that guy gives up the search."

"Dar'Zhar-do checked the last of the drawers, but found no keys."

"They're probably on him, you're gonna have to pocket them, I'll take care of the guards down below while you do."

"Hmm, one of the guards below should have keys too, no?"

"Not a chance. They aren't stupid enough to walk around down there carrying keys when that Alfiq-raht could magic them away. If they were they wouldn't need our help to break them out. Now do you need me to hold your hand through that too?"

"Do not get your whiskers in a knot Rajirr, Dar'Zhar-do could not call himself a thief if he could not steal a set of keys. Create the distraction for the other guards."

Rajirr did not protest, and continued on his way downstairs to the cell halls, and Dar'Zhar-do crept outside to stalk the service attendant.

Sneaking up on one of the Imperials or few other smooth-skins who live in Torval was always simple. Their useless ears, noses, and eyes when in the dark meant he could practically walk right in front of them without being spotted, but while being a Khajiit - a Suthay-raht in particular - helped make him a natural at sneaking, stealing and lock picking, it was also all the more difficult to steal from other Khajiit.

If a Khajiit could not see a thief sneak up on them, they might hear them, or smell them if the conditions were right. While the moonless nights meant even a Khajiit would find difficulty seeing in the dark, the fact it was night meant there were no sounds to cover him, and no smells from the market to confuse him.

But then, this attendant was an Ohmes, which made him practically just an easy a target as any smooth-skin. Dar'Zhar-do was still amazed as to how he managed to steal that silly tooth necklace J'shabi always wore, even when it was tied around her neck. That was the last prize he stole before everything changed at the festival, but it makes a good symbol of his skill.

As Dar'Zhar-do approached his target, the oblivious Ohmes was searching through plant shrubs in the clearing, and the ruffling of the leaves would drown out any accidents he could make after all.

Dar'Zhar-do reached out his arm and extended a claw to cut loose the pouch from his side, when suddenly the Ohmes stopped his search. If not for Dar'Zhar-do's tail he might have lost his balance and fell toward him, and it was a struggle to not gasp.

The Ohmes turned his head and began searching in a different area, and made Dar'Zhar-do bounce away from his line of sight. So he did not detect him, at least.

It happened again when he attempted a second try at cutting the pouch, but still Dar'Zhar-do bounced out of the way before he could be spotted. He wondered for a moment if it was Baan Dar playing tricks on him.

Dar'Zhar-do hatched a trick of his own, then, and figured he would help the Ohmes in his search. He quietly unlatched one of the many earrings of his own and tossed it in a nearby shrub. No doubt the noise alerted even the useless Ohmes' ears, and his attention was drawn toward the source of it.

As the Ohmes dug his fingers through the shrub, catching a glint of the item within, he was none the wiser to realize his money pouch was missing, as well as his keys.

Yet Dar'Zhar-do could hear the glee of his excitement when he found the earring, and wondered how long it would take him to realize it was certainly not diamond-encrusted.

Still pretty valuable though, Dar'Zhar-do will make a point to steal it back sometime.

In mere seconds Dar'Zhar-do was back to the jail, and Rajirr was climbing out of a hatch from below.

"You got the key?"

"Yeah, and the guards?"

"Well, they won't be getting up for awhile, so yeah, they're 'distracted'."

"Whatever. The Ohmes will be coming back, you must keep him away while this one breaks the prisoners out."

"You'd better have a plan for clearing our names when your dad finds out about this."

"Uh, we will cross that bridge when we get there, yes?"

"So long as we don't burn any along the way."

Dar'Zhar-do did not stay to respond, as he saw the shadow of the Ohmes into the light of the room, and jumped down the latch to the jail area.

The stone walls and floor made the place feel cold. The multitude of cells and hallways felt like a maze. There were no prisoners inside of the ones closest to the doors, but a few guardsmen lay unconscious throughout the halls themselves.

Dar'Zhar-do passed down them all until he reached the door to the interrogation chamber, sealed off from the rest of the cells.

He stood by the door and took a deep breath. There was no turning back now.

He pushed the door open and began thumbing away through the keys looking for which one would fit. He did not look up to see the prisoners in the cell, he did not say anything upon entering, he imagined they would be asleep at this time.

So it was a surprise to Dar'Zhar-do then when the key ring was suddenly torn from his grasp, and flew toward the cell where Jo'banja stood.

"This one told you they would forget eventually, Zalani!" the Alfiq-raht mage shouted.

Dar'Zhar-do was too confused as to what was happening to speak, until he heard the sound of Jo'banja's cell unlocking. Somehow they must have been woken up before he got there.

"Oh, wait! This one came here to save you-agh, stop!" Dar'Zhar-do's words were cut off as Jo'banja jumped at his leg. He tried shaking her off, but suddenly found his entire body going numb and stiff, and he fell like a statue to the floor in the same position he was standing in. He could not speak, he could not move, but he could see, and he could think. Jo'banja must have cast some sort of paralysis spell on him.

Dar'Zhar-do could only watch as Tatanja, Zalani, and Tolgunn walked away from their cells.

"Check for the guards, Tolgunn. You are the strongest here." Zalani said.

"Are you sure? I don't think they'll like us walking around like this..."

"Just do it!" Zalani snapped, and the Cathay pushed the Nord to the door of the room.

"This one thinks we should just kill him now, save us trouble later." Jo'banja hissed.

The Alfiq-raht jumped on Dar'Zhar-do's paralyzed body, and he felt a fear like no other wash over him. He cannot speak to explain himself, that he was here to free them. He cannot do anything.

"No, sister. There is no need for death. Let us just escape." Tatanja ordered.

"He could tell his father we escaped. They would be after us sooner. If he dies now they may not know until morning, or at least awhile longer." Jo'banja countered.

"No! He is not yet even an adult. You would not kill a child Jo'banja."

"He was certainly ready to kill your daughter as we heard. If not for Jahirr he would have!"

Dar'Zhar-do felt a surge of anger upon hearing those words, the lies, but no matter what he tried, he could not move his jaw to form words.

He saw Jo'banja's claws shoot out from her paws as she approached his exposed neck, but before she could take her chance, Tatanja grabbed the Alfiq-raht and picked her up away from him.

"You are making a mistake sister, we will regret this!" Jo'banja shouted.

Tolgunn returned to the room, scratching his head.

"Well, the guards are all taking a nap. They must be pretty heavy sleepers, they didn't wake up when I asked if we could leave."

"What do you mean they're taking a nap?" Tatanja asked.

"That is not important, that means they do not mind us leaving, Tolgunn. We should go. Now!" Zalani waved at everyone to follow, and the Nord, Cathay, Ohmes-raht and Alfiq-raht left the jail.

Dar'Zhar-do stayed there, still paralyzed, with conflicting thoughts going through his mind.

He came here with the intention of freeing them, to save them from their execution tomorrow, and yet those same people were about to kill him. He was not sure what to think about that...True, they did not know why he was there, but they did not even give him a chance to explain himself.

Well, they are on their own then, where ever they are planning to go. He was planning to help them escape, maybe even escape with them, but now he will not, not that he really could if he still wanted to anyway.

It could have been seconds, or minutes, before Dar'Zhar-do heard Rajirr walking up next to him. He looked down and shook his head.

"I hate to say 'I told you so', but, well I told you... I guess I'm lucky they didn't just kill you. Then you wouldn't be able to hold up your end of the deal."

Rajirr crouched down and picked up Dar'Zhar-do by the legs and tossed him over his shoulder.

"Then again, I guess this kept you from running off with them and trying to get out of it. I can tell it'll be awhile before that spell wears off, and by then we'll be well out of the city. Too far for you to try and turn back alone. You're not getting out of this deal, you're helping me break Dazlah out of the Dark Brotherhood."

The words hit Dar'Zhar-do like stones. Even though he had agreed to help earlier, he had thought he would figure some way to get out of it, or around it. Around having to kill someone.

But now he has no choice.

Dar'Zhar-do is a murderer.


	3. Anywhere but Elsweyr

Loredas, 13th of Heart Fire, 4E 98

Dear Diary,

It is strange. This one has always maintained a good schedule to write in her diary when time permits, sometimes daily, but at least once a week. It has been three weeks since Khinashi last wrote. Much has happened since we left Corinthe leaving for Cyrodiil about three weeks ago, but at the same time, nothing has happened.

The ride out of Elsweyr was long and rough, and there were times our cart was stopped, and our escort questioned of the contents in the back – where we were hiding. It was true, all of Elsweyr by then had heard of us, or heard the lies about us. Tarel at-Taneth was right, if we did not leave Elsweyr, it would not have been long before we were discovered. Luckily our escort was good with words, and we avoided any conflict until after we had crossed the border.

Khinashi has heard many things about the lands outside of Elsweyr, and had always wanted to travel. Even now, this one's curiosity drives her to explore, but...Cyrodiil is much different from Elsweyr, and so are its people. It did not take long before we realized we were unwelcome inside the cities – the presence of Ma'ketra, Ma'krin and Jahirr made most afraid, and our explanations fell on deaf ears. Bravil, even as close to Elsweyr as it was, would not allow us inside. Even then, we were lucky we were brought to Bravil, for at least some there have an understanding of our kind. If it had been another town, except for Leyawiin, they may have simply cut us down on sight.

We lived in the wilderness for a few days nearby but decided to move on, for being so close to Elsweyr was a risk in itself. We decided to head west to Skingrad rather than Leyawiin to the south – for it would be too much a risk of running into the Renrijra Krin there - and we learned from our previous mistakes. We travelled under the cover of night and kept to the forested regions and made a hidden camp amongst the trees, while J'shabi or this one would go inside the city to buy supplies with the coin we were given for our journey. Khinashi has yet to get used to the houses being built on the ground, and the lack of Khajiit. The lack of trees and thus being able to see much further is a strangeness as well, but it is nice to look up at the sky at night and count the stars...until Khinashi looks for the Moons and remembers.

It has been nearly a month since the Festival of the Third Moon and none have seen Jone or Jode since. It has been the topic of the crowds during our delves into the cities, but Khinashi knows it has caused much more than simply chatter in Elsweyr, however any details have not yet made it to Cyrodiil. People here are starting to call it the Void Nights Anomoly, and something about that fills Khinashi with anger. It as if it is simply a fact and nothing more to them, all the suffering and confusion it will be causing within our homeland is simply a topic of idle chat...Khinashi wants to learn more about it, to see how such a thing could happen – how Ra-Zara'chi could do this, but where does one go to learn such a thing? Who within Cyrodiil would care enough to research it? This one hopes more details upon events in Elsweyr will reach Cyrodiil soon. It is troubling not knowing what is happening there, Corinthe could not have been the only place to be affected.

And now we come to the present. We stayed around Skingrad for about two weeks until our camp was discovered by a group of hunters. Jizad hiding in the trees could see them far before they approached, and Jahirr could smell them from just as far away, and so we had time to hide Ma'krin, Ma'ketra and Jahirr – for we thought they would simply pass by without trouble if they did not see them. We were wrong, for they were not hunters, they were bandits, and our attempts at making peace did not go over well.

After Jizad took down a few of their number from his position in the trees, and Jahirr, Ma'ketra and Ma'krin stormed out of their hiding places, the remaining bandits – not knowing what they were – ran in fear from the sight of them, or from one of Smallpaw's spells, this one is not quite sure...

J'shabi insisted we did not pursue them, and some of us were more reluctant than others to agree, for they may have had supplies which could have helped us, but J'shabi knows more of living in the wilds than the rest of us except for Jahirr, and so we let them go. We could not risk them returning with larger numbers and so now we travel further west, to the city of Kvatch.

Already this one can see it on the horizen as morning approaches, and her thoughts drift away to what she had read about it. It is common knowledge to almost everyone of its history in the past century... the site of the first Oblivion Gate during the Oblivion Crisis, where the Champion of Cyrodiil shut it down and rescued the only surviving, secret heir of the Emporer. The city had been completely destroyed in the attack but in the years following was rebuilt – and much bigger than before. Its significance to history, and the remains of the first Oblivion gate, mean it is a large tourist attraction which has attributed to its success following the beginning of the Fourth Era.

Khinashi is sad that Ma'ketra, Ma'krin and Jahirr will not be able to see the inside of the city walls when we arrive there tomorrow.

* * *

For a moment it seemed like there was total darkness as the sun was eclipsed by the round object in the air, but then it was smashed aside and sent flying high above and far away. Khinashi was the furthest, but she was not sure she would be able to make it in time before it hit the ground. Ma'krin always hit the hardest, but also the most unreliable, and so J'shabi can never coordinate with him like Khinashi and Ma'ketra are.

A blur of fur swipes past Khinashi in the blink of an eye and dives into the grass, scratching and sliding, as she lifts her head and smacks the ball up again, just before it hit the ground. It does not fly in a random direction, but merely straight up in the air, repetively bouncing it up and down as Ma'ketra turns around and positions herself. Khinashi realizes this and turns back away, and surveys the scene.

J'shabi is busy running toward them and will reach them in a few seconds, but Ma'krin hangs back, walking at a relaxed pace. Khinashi gives a sign to her partner, to show what strategy she thinks they should do, and Ma'ketra complies with the suggestion.

Ma'ketra angles her head forward and smacks the ball high and far, but not as far as Ma'krin would do. Far enough that Khinashi could reach it in time, directly within her path. She knew not to hit it too far, for else J'shabi might intercept it, and they were already dangerously close to their end zone, she would not have to bounce it far to win the round.

And so Khinashi jumped up at an angle, twisting in the air as she too hit the ball with her head, and bounced it far and to the side, sailing high above J'shabi's head as she neared. J'shabi turned to run toward its destination, but before she reached it, Ma'ketra was there again, bouncing it back over to Khinashi.

This volley went on for awhile, and Khinashi could see the frustration in J'shabi's facial expressions as she was unable to intercept it at any time. It is this J'shabi refers to whenever she would call this game 'keep away' instead of Thjizzashka. Also because it was easier for her to pronounce.

Eventually J'shabi could not keep up, and Khinashi and Ma'ketra only had to get passed the slow Ma'krin to win the round. Khinashi had doubts he would even bother to intervene.

She was surprised then, when she saw that Ma'krin was actually charging toward her.

Khinashi judged how long remained until the ball could be bounced away from him, but it soon became a choice between being trampled or not, and Khinashi in her wisdom valued not having broken limbs over winning a game, and dived out of the way before he reached her.

Ma'krin, as fast as he was running – which is to say faster than he normally bothers to – hit the ball hard, very hard, and the angle at which he did sent the ball soaring across our game field. It went even beyond our field and into the city...and then it was out of sight, covered by the busy streets of Kvatch.

The sound of a window breaking was heard seconds later, followed by a few screams and running peoples, until they realized the circumstances.

Khinashi heard a small laugh coming from their sole audience, Smallpaws, who seemed to approve of the direction the game was taken.

"Well? Did we win?" J'shabi asks. This humoured Khinashi, for she knew even J'shabi must have heard what happened, and yet still winning was her first concern.

"That depends on what you define winning as, J'shabi. Ma'krin sent the ball past the line we decided would be the mark you needed to reach, without using anything other than our heads to do so, and without letting it touch the ground. Yet, he also sent it into the city and broke a window, which is sure to not make our already suspicious neighbors any friendlier."

"So we won."

"Spoken like a true Khajiit, J'shabi. Yes, you and Ma'krin won the round, which is to say the game as well, since we cannot really continue."

Both of them laughed and smiled, but Khinashi noticed J'shabi wincing, and her attention drifting past her. She turned to see Jahirr and Jizad returning from today's hunt for food, which seemed successful at first glance judging by the carcass of a dead deer strapped to Jahirr's back.

It has been nice to see Jizad and Jahirr working together so well, their skills complement each other perfectly for hunting. Jahirr as a Pahmar-raht could track with his nose and outrun any beast – already a trait no other race or form of a race could boast - but with a Dagi's ability to climb heights, and Jizad's own personal skill at archery, it made the task laughably simple and systematic. With the pride working together, living in the wilderness was not as much of a challenge as Khinashi thought it would be, and certainly not as difficult as J'shabi made it out to be. It had become so easy that they allowed themselves free time to play games, like today.

"How are you back from your hunt already? You've hardly been gone for an hour at most, it's only mid-day. You do remember what we agreed on, right?" J'shabi asks accusitively. This one could tell what was coming, and the look on Jahirr and Jizad's faces told her that Khinashi should step away and read a book or something. Yet her curious ears disallowed her from tuning out completely.

"Yes, Jahirr and this one took that into account-"

"Tell me then, so I know you remember."

Jizad sighed before beginning. This had not been the first time he had to do this.

"It we are to kill any creatures for food, it cannot be young, it cannot seemingly be a parent to a young child, and if female it cannot be pregnant. We must kill it as quickly as possible so as to minimize its suffering from pain, and avoid killing it in front of others of its kind to avoid scarring them."

"It looks young." J'shabi says flatly.

Khinashi tore a peek over her shoulder to see the deer. It was by no means a child, a young adult at very least.

"J'shabi, we are not their only predators, most do not live long enough to become old in the first place – not as old as your conscience would prefer-"

"This isn't on my conscience! I didn't kill it! You two did!"

"The way you act sometimes J'shabi, you seem to feel like you did." Jizad retorted.

"Oh, just get on with it, then, it's too late now!" J'shabi flailed her arms and turned to walk away, and the sniffling sound that came from her direction indicated her eyes must be welling up. The rest of us turned to look at eachother with a knowing, sad expression. J'shabi at least understands that the rest of us must hunt for food to survive in the wilderness, but is as clear as full moons on a cloudless night that she does not like that fact of life.

After several seconds, she turned back around and approached the rest of us again as if nothing happened, such is the way her mood can change at times.

"Well, did you at least get what I asked from the market?"

Jizad looked away, afraid to meet J'shabi's gaze.

"No. That is in part why we did not take so long. We did not realize until too late that we were nearly out of money, not enough for the fruit you asked for, and we did not want to return empty-pawed, so..."

"So...?"

"Well, this one thought we could just use Moon Sugar to trade for currency, like in Elsweyr..."

"Jizad! Moon Sugar is illegal outside of Elsweyr!"

"This one knows that now! The merchants were not happy with Jizad, and then the guards arrived and chased him out...thankfully when he found Jahirr outside we escaped capture."

"So you didn't get anything I asked for." J'shabi confirmed in her mind, already at unease.

"This one is sorry..." Jizad answers, and Khinashi could tell he was looking for a way to change the subject.

"Why is Moon Sugar illegal here anyway? Jizad thought only Skooma was."

"Skooma is illegal everywhere, even Elsweyr, Moon Sugar is only allowed in Elsweyr. The sugar does not bode well with smooth-skin stomachs, and they do not understand a Khajiit's connection to it, and merely see us as drug addicts." Khinashi answers.

"Well, I can see why they think that. Even Khajiit can be harmed by Moon Sugar, Khinashi. I don't think that needs reminding..." J'shabi glares at Khinashi.

"Only when taken too much, like anything else. It just tastes good so Khajiit do that accidentally. It is still important to many aspects of our lives J'shabi – from our birth, to help ease the growing within the first week, for Senche and Senche-raht when they become of age to grow again...Our religion nessicitates it, and our diet as you know, and of course a secondary form of currency."

"No one needs anything, you're just used to it so you think you do. I don't eat it and I'm fine, and I am a Khajiit too." J'shabi adds the last part as if she felt that needed to be reminded yet again.

"It is complicated, J'shabi, but just know that Khajiit as a whole depend on it in ways not able to be understood by those not taught in its use. It has a purpose, both spiritually and practically."

"You sound like this one's father, rambling on about spirits. Jizad thinks people just make that stuff up to justify their sugar cravings."

"Perhaps," Khinashi responds. "Khinashi thinks there is more to it than that though."

Silence falls upon the pride for a few seconds, until J'shabi speaks up again.

"Well, as interesting as that may be, it doesn't change anything right now. If we're out of money I guess I'll just have to go pick some plants to eat again. They don't taste good, I had to get used to it when I was on my own."

"Jizad is still amazed from your story, J'shabi. How you managed to survive travelling through Valenwood alone...And picking plants really is a crime in Valenwood?"

"Yeah, a big one, I found that out the hard way, too...The Bosmer's twisted cannabilistic culture didn't help make Valenwood feel any more welcoming, either, and yet people still think I'm one of them!"

J'shabi picked up her backpack and was ready to begin her search, until she looked back and saw Khinashi's pack, still full of oranges from Corinthe.

"Will you ever explain why you won't let me at any of those oranges you bought back in Elsweyr? I like oranges. It would be easier if you just let me eat some of them so I wouldn't have to keep buying other things, or eating plants."

"Soon, J'shabi." Khinashi said with a smile.

"You said that last time! When is 'soon'? They'll go rotten if we don't eat them soon, and we would all have to live off of them solely just to avoid that even!"

"Clearly we should not have given Khinashi half of all the gold we were given and tell her to buy our supplies. She just spent them all on oranges and does not let us eat them." Jizad half-jokes.

"Alright, fine...This one guesses it has been long enough, although it has been humorous to watch you all guess."

"You mean I can eat them now?"

"No, Khinashi will show you why you cannot. Come, let us go to Kvatch, J'shabi."

* * *

The Suthay and Ohmes walk through the gates of Kvatch, and Khinashi quickly scans the area for what she had been wanting to see since they arrived in Cyrodiil. Or, at least once of the things.

"There it is!" Khinashi shouts and runs over to a large ashen-coloured arc portruding from the ground. Large spikes jut out from the sides, before the arc breaks off at uneven sides. It stands about twice their height, and large enough for several of them to pass through.

Khinashi disregards the small fence surrounding it and jumps over, and walks up the platform and touches the arc.

"Khinashi...are you sure that's a good idea? I don't think they'd put a fence around...whatever that is if they didn't mind people touching it."

"Jone and Jode, almost a hundred years have passed, and it is still warm!"

"Khinashi?"

Khinashi looked around and took note at the people giving her suspicious looks, and decided it best to heed J'shabi's advice, and climbed back down.

"What is that thing anyway?" J'shabi asks.

"This is what this one was telling you about, J'shabi – it is the ruins of the Oblivion gate that destroyed Kvatch at the end of the 3rd era during the Oblivion Crisis! Or at least, one of them, anyway...The one that was shut down."

"Oh, that." J'shabi says, uninterested, looking away to find something else to talk about.

"What? You mean you are not excited to see this? This is where the Oblivion Crisis started in full, and where the Hero of Kvatch rescued Martin Septim, who would go on to save the world!"

"I know, I've heard the stories too, and more than one of those times from you. It's an interesting story, if it really happened. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but, it doesn't really change anything now, does it? That was almost a hundred years ago."

"The Oblivion Crisis was a real event, J'shabi, Oblivion Gates opened up over the whole world. This is not the only remnant of that time, even in Elsweyr and every other province, less-intact ruins remain. There is no questioning if it happened."

"I know, I didn't mean it like that, I just mean...History has been known to...you know, get carried away sometimes, especially tales with heroes. You know that more than me."

"Yes, but this is an exception. The Champion of Cyrodiil really did all of those things...and Martin-"

"Single-handedly defeated the Daedric Prince of Destruction in open combat in the Imperial City, yes I know. Don't we call him Merrunz or something?"

"Actually, that is not exactly-ah, forget it...and yes, Merunnz – sometimes Ja'khajiit, too."

"But doesn't Ja'khajiit mean kitten?"

"Yes, and also another word for Suthay-raht, after a group of them once-"

"Okay, okay! I get it, it's complicated. You said you were going to show me why I'm not allowed to eat oranges anymore."

Khinashi hung her mouth open for a couple seconds, slightly unwilling to stop talking, before agreeing and walking off toward the market. She took one last look at the ruins of the Oblivion gate, and tried to imagine what it might have looked like 98 years ago. She cannot decide if she would be fascinated or scared to death, or both.

The sound of chatter and steet performers reaches its height as the two Khajiit approach the market district, just southeast of the Chapel of Akatosh. Like all of the other cities they have visited so far in Cyrodiil, it mostly consists of humans, with some elves, and rarely any Khajiit or Argonians. Khinashi is somewhat glad for the last, as in Bravil, the Argonians never gave her welcoming looks, but then, perhaps her staring was not recieved well either. She had never seen one in person before then.

Khinashi followed her nose to her destination through the bustling crowds, and the aroma of many other scents, and found it in the form of a fruit stall and a large, heavy-set Breton who gave a clear look of impatience. His attire was that of most Cyrodiilic merchants. Dull-coloured in comparison to what Khinashi had come to expect from Elsweyr, as if they gave no mind to what they wore other than that they were wearing something. 'Shirts' as they called them, were tucked in, and made their legs look awkwardly long.

When Khinashi stood next to the stall, she had to pull her head over the counter just to see him, even J'shabi, who was a little taller, would have to stand on her toes. Jizad would have to stand on the stall itself. Humans were always roughly the same height as eachother, in the end, so they do not take into account shorter races like Bosmer – or some forms of Khajiit.

"Hello." Khinashi said, to grab the man's attention. He looked around for a couple seconds before looking down, and his expression turned to one of even more impatience.

"What is it, cat? Can't find your parents or something? I can't help with that."

Khinashi sneered for a moment at the merchant's response. Khajiit call eachother Cats quite oftenly, but when outsiders do, it is always with a tone that reeks of rudeness.

"This one would like to make a considerably large transaction with your business, which Khajiit thinks you will find quite generous."

"You gonna buy something or what?"

"Sell something, actually."

"Look I don't mean any offence but I don't really care for what you picked up off the ground and think is valuable. I sell produce, you got fruit or vegetables then fine. I'm not interested in anything else, and don't expect a deal if it's half-rotten or...or might as well be, just don't waste my time."

Khinashi did not answer, and instead simply hauled up her sack full of oranges onto the stall for the merchant to see.

"Oh, oranges, is it? Well, lets see here...How many are there?"

"50, fresh from the Tenmar forest of Elsweyr."

The Breton took out a few oranges and checked them over.

"I think I could give you about...400 gold for them."

Khinashi saw J'shabi's stunned look. Khinashi had spent only 100 gold on them in Corinthe.

"Do not try to make a fool of this one. You would need to make a better offer of twice that much if you want them."

The Breton seemed angered by Khinashi's words.

"Twice? Are you trying to run me out of business? 400 Gold is a good deal! And these Oranges don't seem like they'll last much more than a week at best."

"Khinashi, that is a lot of money, that's already twice what we were given when-"

"This one has brought these all the way from Elsweyr, they are foreign here. You will have no trouble selling them all in a week and still make a large profit."

"That's just too much, I can't do that. 400 gold or no deal."

"Perhaps this one could take them to one of your competitors then, hmm? They may be more willing to give Khajiit a better offer. They would be wise, too - how often do Cyrodiils get to eat Oranges now that Elsweyr is not a part of the Empire?"

The Breton did not answer, and so Khinashi picked up the sack of Oranges and started to step away, despite J'shabi's protests.

"Alright, fine, 800 gold it is. I may not make much profit off of them alone, but you're right, not many come this far to sell those anymore. It'll attract customers."

Khinashi smiled knowingly and turned around, placing them back on the stall.

"You have made a wise descision. You will not regret this."

"I hope not." The Breton said. He pulled out a large sack of coins for Khinashi to count, as he did the same for the Oranges. Khinashi smiled to J'shabi, and her stunned, speechless expression was more vaulable than any amount of gold she could have haggled for. The Breton's curiosity took the better of him and he took a bite out of one of the oranges.

"It's been awhile since I tasted these. You know they say they used to grow in Cyrodiil, ages ago."

"When Cyrodiil was a jungle?" Khinashi asked. She had read about that, but she was never quite certain of the truth of them.

"If you believe in that. I'm not sure I do, it doesn't make much sense, being so close to Skyrim and High Rock. I think historians just got it wrong."

"Something must have been different for them to think that was the case, though. Languages have not changed so radically in thousands of years, it must be more than transcription errors." Khinashi countered.

"I'm no history buff, but if something big did happen – like those crazy theories people make up about it – I'm pretty sure more people would have mentioned it."

Khinashi took his words into consideration. If history was to be believed, Cyrodiil would have once been a land of jungles rather than the temperate landscape it is today, but how long ago is unknown, for some books contradict eachother across many time periods, and such a radical change in landscape could not have been natural.

"Some say Talos used his voice to make Cyrodiil cold. Others say he used his chin...M'aiq wonders, how big must his chin be to do that, hmm? Perhaps that is why they spell it in all capital letters."

The voice came from behind them, and Khinashi turned to see a Cathay Khajiit in brown robes and a strange fur hat. He did not look at them, and simply continued on his way, walking with his hands behind his back.

Khinashi nodded to J'shabi to indicate for her to finish counting, and approached the mysterious Khajiit.

"What do you mean? You know how Cyrodiil was changed from a jungle?"

"M'aiq knows much, and tells some. M'aiq knows many things others do not."

Still the Cathay did not stop walking, Khinashi ran up to his side and walked with him.

"Hmm, do you know what happened to the Moons, then? Why they are gone?"

"The Moons are not gone, they are simply hiding. M'aiq is on a pilgramage to find them and move them elsewhere."

"Um, M'aiq, this one does not think it works like that. How would you move them even if you did find them?"

"M'aiq will put them in his pocket of course. What? You look at M'aiq as if he is a liar."

Khinashi was not sure how to respond to that, and so she did not, and simply changed the subject.

"Are there any others searching with you?"

"M'aiq prefers to adventure alone. Others just get in the way. And they talk, talk, talk."

"This one is sorry, she was just curious about the Moons. Khinashi will not bother you anymore, then. Good luck on your pilgramage, clanmate."

M'aiq stopped for a moment and ruffled around his robes and pulled out a bundle of folded paper. He stared at it for a few moments, before handing it toward Khinashi.

"M'aiq thinks you should have this, then. It knows things, but not as much as M'aiq."

"What is it?"

"Lies written on paper for fools to read. M'aiq thinks."

Khinashi unfolded it and noticed the symbol of the city of Riverhold drawn on the top left edge. 'Black Horse Courier' was written in bold letters on the top, except 'Horse' was crossed out and replaced with 'Pahmar' just above it. Beneath that were the words 'Living Under Void Nights' as the article name. Khinashi knew of the Black Pahmar Courier, an Elsweyr adaption of the Black Horse Courier of the Cyrodiilic empire founded over a century ago. If this is what she thought it was...then it would tell her everything she has wanted to know – or at least some of it.

She looked up to thank M'aiq, but he was already gone.

Khinashi ran back to J'shabi to show her, and decided she would read it in detail while they returned to their camp.

* * *

The Black Pahmar Courier, Elsweyr Edition.  
10th of Heart Fire, 4E 98  
By S'renjar

Living Under Void Nights

By now all Khajiit are no doubt aware that the glistening twin moons that have guided our kind from the beginning of time have failed us, or we have failed them. What most may not yet know is the true extent of what this means for us.

For the past month S'renjar has travelled across Elsweyr to learn the answer to that question, and the truth is darker than the Void Nights themselves.

This one will start with what he feels is the most concerning, and because there have been many theories – some of which were worse than what has become of the situation, so in some ways it may ease a few minds, despite the harrowing implications of which the truth could mean for us.

Ever since their initial disappearance, every Khajiit newborn, from Dune to Senchal and beyond, has grown to become a Suthay within the following week. Despite the absense of the moons, as of so far there does not seem to be any other peculiarities of note. So no, Dro'rajul of Orcrest, they are not becoming demonic abominations or born without souls, or whatever your third theory was. You can climb down from the Orcrest arena walls and stop spreading hysteria amongst our people, if local authorities have not already spiked your water supplies.

The question remains of how this might affect the future of our people if the Void Nights do not end. What will happen in a hundred years, when the last of our other forms die as elders, and only Suthays remain? Elsweyr is a harsh land, and one we have always had to work together to survive in. Every form has a purpose within our society, and to so suddenly - within the very next generation - have that taken away from us, how will we continue as we do today? Without the Dagi, who will collect the fruit in the rainforest our southern Khajiit depend on as a source of food? Without the Pahmar, who will replace our best trackers for hunting? Our Cathays have proven our best warriors, and the Ohmes and Tojays as our abassadors to other lands in which our other forms would be unwelcome. The Senche, who have always been able to turn the tide of battle even in the unlikliest of situations, are a staple in the defence of our kingdom, and without them, the Bosmer and Argonians may seek to reclaim territory, and could do so with ease. Even the smallest of us, the Alfiq, use their size and magic to become an irreplacable asset to us all. If this were the only effect the Void Nights had on us, it would already be terrible enough, but it seems the divines do not pity us this day, which brings S'renjar to his next discovery.

The rumours you have heard surrounding our sacred Moon Sugar are true. Harvests since the Void Nights have become dilluted in their sweetness – and it is not just because the new overseer at the Torval planation is bad at her job, but that may also be a factor to some extent. Moon Sugar harvested before the crisis retains its special sweet flavour we so depend on, but any harvested afterwards reportedly tastes 'dull', along with a handful of profanities. Moonpriests have reported a lack of visions as of late from this change in Moon Sugar, but – although they did not tell him this directly – they also appear to make more sense, so that may be one beneficial side effect. Conversely, newborn Khajiit treated with improper sugar have become even more unbearably annoying during their first week of life, and it is safe to say the same may be said for Senche and Senche-raht who reach their second growing stage. Last – and perhaps most concerning – Skooma and Sugar addicts are not happy, and it is a possibility their withdrawls may make the craziest among them try something irrational if a substitute is not found soon.

Many have tried to covince S'renjar to not release the information regarding our Moon Sugar crisis publicly – some for personal gain, others in an attempt to stall the inevitable panics and riots this information will cause - but this one feels it too important to hide behind political barriers, and even greed has its limits. To those who have threatened to kill him if he revealed this, S'renjar only has this to say to you: Good luck finding him. To those who have bribed him with gold and other pleasantries, S'renjar says this: You are fools, but thank you for the coin nonetheless, it will surely make hiding from the others easier.

Next we come to the political implications of the Void Nights. Many of you, or at least the ones who actually pay attention to your Clan Mothers during weekly sermons, know of the rotational system Elsweyr's leadership is based upon, formally known as one of the aspects of the Ja-Kha'jay. In normal times, power over Elsweyr would change paws depending on the phases of the moons – be that the King of Senchal and the Khajiit lords in the south, or the tribal Chieftains of the north. Each major city of Elsweyr also took this concept and made it their own on a smaller scale, defining terms for ownership of resources or territory within the city, or – in the case of Senchal's role-model unemployment statistics – when and which Khajiit work and when they get payed. It looked nice on paper and in truth, it did work out pretty well when no one had any reason to believe the Moons would suddenly disappear, but now, many of Elsweyr's cities are going through a lot of problems of a beurectactic and domestic nature. Dar'ji, one of Senchal's many working class citizens, is enjoying his extended paid vacation - a lesson for other employers across Elsweyr to not write in paper that you will pay your employee's vacation until either Masser or Secunda next shine full, during the eclipse – the last moment the moons were seen - in a failed attempt to rip them off with the eclipse counting as his only vacation time. Investigations are underway to see if dockworker Dar'ji is somehow responsible for the Void Nights.

To prevent civil war between northern and southern Elsweyr, Mane Rid-Rawl'vah has declared complete and unrivaled power over all resources and stately affairs until a more permanent agreement can be made between all reigning powers throughout Elsweyr regarding the Void Nights. Many are not happy with this descision, believing the Mane should remain a spiritual advisor and non-partisan to the ruling governments of Elsweyr, but it seems to be keeping claws from clashing so far. The Mane has also requested that all Khajiit once more shave their manes – this time out of respect to the missing moons. As with any regional shaving, nothing bad will happen to those who refuse, but you will probably be given dirty looks by the more patriotic of our people on the streets, and given bad deals by merchants. Even Mane Rid-Rawl'vah has opted to shave his own mane this time. S'renjar feels that defeats the point of being the Mane, but ah well.

Many have their theories for what might have caused the Void Nights to occur, all of them ranging from crazy to non-sensical, and as such not suitable for a professional article such as this. Do not fear, the Mane himself has dedicated all available resources into looking in the truth of the matter, and if an answer can be found, he will find it. Progress on research may be slow while Elsweyr settles into the fact that the Moons are gone, and what that brings with it. S'renjar has heard outside organizations such as the College of Whispers are also looking into why the Moons have disappeared, but as we all know, if you want to learn about the moons you ask Khajiit, not smooth-skin mages in Cyrodiil who think Azurah is spelled without the letter H.

* * *

"So only Suthays are born, Moon Sugar loses its flavour and Elsweyr is in a political crisis and at threat of civil war while Ra-Zara'chi siezes all power over the land. I guess it...could have been worse?" J'shabi says, after taking in all of the information Khinashi read to her on their way back to camp.

"Not by much." Khinashi responds. She was not surprised by the news, she had been suspecting this would be the case, but it hardly made accepting it any easier.

"Well, think on the bright side, Khinashi. Khajiit might've not been able to be born at all, Moon Sugar could have stopped growing completely, and it could have caused a full-blown civil war."

"Without our forms, how will Elsweyr stand together? We have to work together to survive – we always have."

Khinashi was lost in thought as she looked to their camp in the distance. She could see them already as little specs, with Ma'ketra and Ma'krin being more like dots. Elsweyr has grown depending on eachother to survive for thousands of years, and it has made them strong. Without each other, they were weak. Others would see them as weak, and would be swept aside like so many other lost races, if the sugar and political crisis did not make Khajiit kill eachother by then already. Ayleid, Falmer, Kothringi, Lilmothiit...Khajiit. Why would Ra-Zara'chi want this?

"The other races do just fine, and they don't have Senche-rahts or Alfiqs or Dagis. They all look the same...for the most part."

"It is different for them, J'shabi...Khajiit are different, that is what makes us Khajiit."

"The Void Nights may not last forever. It could still just be a natural event, they could return."

Khinashi laughed at this. She was not sure if J'shabi was trying to cheer her up, or if she truly believed that.

"You cannot truly think it is natural still. It is too coincidental. They have been gone for a month, and right when Ra-Zara'chi kills his brother to become the Mane? That would not make sense."

"It makes more sense to me than someone just...making the moons disappear. How could any one person do that? How could any number of people do that, for that matter?"

Khinashi remained silent for several seconds before responding.

"This one does not know...but she is determined to find out."

J'shabi looked at Khinashi as if she were the one spouting nonsense this time.

"Oh, and I suspect you just think a book out there will tell you? Maybe we could check a local library, they might have a spare copy of 'How to Make Masser and Secunda Vanish from Thin Air'". J'shabi said in a joking tone.

Khinashi would normally find J'shabi's teasing humorous, but not this time.

"You are mocking this one." Khinashi said. Her ears unvoluntarily flattened to dismiss any notion that found it funny.

"You can't really be serious, Khinashi. Not about this, if this were anything else, I would go along with whatever mad scheme you could come up with, but this?"

"We are free to go anywhere, J'shabi. Anywhere but Elsweyr, there must be someone, somewhere that is trying to find out what happened to the Moons. If we found them, maybe we could help them, and maybe learn how to reverse it, maybe...How to bring the moons back."

"If there were anyone trying to do that, I doubt we would be of any help. We're just kids. Sure we may have gotten lucky and survived Corinthe, and helped Portneu, but we're still kids. They probably wouldn't even want our help."

"Maybe, but we could still try." Khinashi said, as firmly as she could to indicate how serious she was about it.

J'shabi kept opening and closing her mouth, trying to find words to retort, but eventually gave up.

"Alright, fine, I guess if I can't talk you out of how silly it sounds, then tell me this: Where would we even start to try and learn what happened to the Moons? We can't go to Elsweyr, don't even try to convince me on that."

Khinashi saw J'shabi's question as a challenge. She sought to convince Khinashi to give up by showing her the reality of the difficulty of the situation, but Khinashi was not going to go down easily.

In truth, she had no idea where to start. The first natural thought was a Clan Mother, or a Moonpriest, but they only live in Elsweyr...Khinashi looked down, not wanting to face J'shabi's "I told you so" look, even though she would never say those words.

Her eyes caught a glimpse of the newspaper again, and she was reminded of the final lines. She re-read them, and smiled knowingly to J'shabi.

"The College of Whispers. The Newspaper said they were researching the Void Nights, and plus, it is close by, or this one thinks...inbetween Kvatch and the Imperial City, east of here. We can check on your map when we get back. There are many mages there who could help us. This one's father once studied there himself, even."

"I remember that. The newspaper said they were wasting their time, or something like that, though...What makes you think a bunch of mages will know anything about what happened to the Moons?"

"It could have some basis in magic, in-fact that is quite likely, really – and the College of Whispers was one of the two magical instutitions involved in sending Umbriel back to Oblivion about 60 years ago. Do you know of that?"

"Remind me."

"Umbriel was a large floating city that devoured the souls of those beneath it, in which its occupents would then take host inside the corpses and lead them as an undead army, ever-growing, all across Tamriel. Parts of Black Marsh, Morrowind, and Cyrodiil were destroyed in its wake as it made its way to the Imperial City – where the College of Whispers and the Synod sent the entire city back to Oblivion!"

"Masser and Secunda are a lot bigger than any city, Khinashi."

"Yes, but it could have similarities with what happened to the Moons, and if it does, then there is a good chance the College of Whispers could learn more about it."

"I still don't think it's such a good idea asking a group of mages for help...When Mages are involved with anything, nothing ever seems to work out the way it should."

"But this one is a mage, too, J'shabi..."

"And nearly every one of your spells backfire in some way!...Anyway, it might help if you told the others about your plan. I don't think they would appreciate you making any descisions for them without asking them first. No matter how much you think we might be able to make some sort of difference, it all comes down to what we all think we should do."

"Then she will."

* * *

Jahirr shakes his head from the news, but does not seem all too surprised either.

Smallpaws and Ma'ketra look at each other, signing words back and forth. Ma'krin is too busy eating, and if he did hear Khinashi, gave no effort to give a response.

"So it really is happening..." Jizad says under his breath.

Khinashi looks surprised, and Jizad looks as if he instantly regretted voicing his words aloud. She was about to question him, but then J'shabi tugged her shoulder.

"You're forgetting something Khinashi. Wasn't there more you wanted to tell them?" J'shabi reminded her.

All save Ma'krin looked up toward Khinashi, as if expecting some sort of surprising revelation.

"Ah, yes...Well, this one has been thinking...These Void Nights. Since we have the oppurtunity given to us, it would make sense if we looked into what caused them."

Khinashi paused for a moment. She felt more hesitant explaining it after J'shabi's initial reaction, but became more confident when no one spoke against the idea this time so soon. Jizad was not the type to do that, nor were Smallpaws and Ma'ketra. Jahirr and Ma'krin were, to varying levels, but Jahirr seemed patient enough to hear her out, and Ma'krin simply was not paying attention.

Khinashi and J'shabi have talked about it on the way back here, and we think-"

"We?" J'shabi questioned.

"Well, Khinashi...thinks, that the Cyrodiil Mage's College of Whispers may hold the answer to our crisis."

Smallpaws's eyes instantly widened at the mention of the college, but whether out of interest or fear, Khinashi could not tell. It appeared both.

Jahirr on the other hand, firmly shook his head.

"You think these Mages may know what really happened to the Moons?" Jizad evenly questioned.

"This one does not know...Maybe? The newspaper said they were researching it. Khinashi thinks we could help them come to a conclusion. It is better than staying here, or wandering around with no real goal other than to survive. We should make the best of our freedom of travel."

Smallpaws meowed to grab Khinashi's attention, and was apparently trying to sign something to her, but she could not translate it.

"Jizad is unsure. This one does not trust mages...No offence to you, Khinashi. They only seem to make things more difficult and complicated, and often more dangerous. It may not be wise to go to them."

Jahirr nodded in agreement, which Khinashi thought was strange, given that her Father was a mage, and Jahirr was his best friend. But then...Jahirr would have been with her Father while he studied at the College of Whispers. Perhaps he is against the idea from what he had experienced in person, but her Father never told her anything bad about it.

"Sorry, Khinashi, but I still have to agree with Jizad and Jahirr. Maybe if you had an idea of some other place we could try..."

"But they are our best lead! They could find out what happened if we just help them!" Khinashi protested. This was not how she wanted it to go.

"It could also get us killed, Khinashi." Jizad responded.

"Killed? You act like we would be asking them to shoot fireballs at us and see if we survive! We would simply be asking them questions, and helping their research. Why would we need to be in any danger?"

"There is always a danger where magic is involved." Jizad continues to talk evenly, despite Khinashi's raising tone.

Smallpaws performed the deformed sound he makes when trying to use illusion spells to talk, and failing to do so. Khinashi was not sure if that was to grab her attention once more, or if he wanted to say something.

"If you want to tell Khinashi something, then just write it out. We have supplies for that in our backpacks."

Smallpaws fervently shook his head at the thought. Khinashi still never quite understood what he had against writing.

"Let's take a vote then, if more than half of us want to go then we will, but if not, we won't. Simple as that, okay?"

Khinashi nodded reluctantly, it was obvious how this would turn out now.

"Stand by Khinashi if you think we should go to the College of Whispers – so we can try to learn what happened to cause the Void Nights, or at least be pointed in the right direction." Khinashi said.

"And stand by me if you think going there would be too dangerous. We all know what happened whenever we tried to walk in a city with all of us together. Why would mages be any more willing to hear us out?" J'shabi said.

It did not take many moments for most to make their descision. Jizad and Jahirr walked next to J'shabi, Ma'ketra and Smallpaws remained still, but eventually Ma'ketra joined J'shabi's side as well. Ma'krin was still eating, of course. He did not care for the vote.

Which meant everyone else except Khinashi and Smallpaws were against going there, and Smallpaws was undecided.

Khinashi just felt like crying. She felt naive for thinking her friends would be as eager, or at least willing, to search for the truth behind the Void Nights. She felt stupid for thinkng she could make any difference about it. J'shabi was right, we are just kids...Little kittens too far from home, who will accomplish nothing...

She felt irrationally angry, then, that Smallpaws still had not joined J'shabi's side, as if were not already clear no one wanted to go, J'shabi had not yet closed the vote.

Khinashi just wished he would join J'shabi so they could go back to doing nothing.

Khinashi just wished she could understand his sign language, and know what he was trying to tell her earlier...

* * *

"Why do you hesistate, Snorepaws? What is it about this College that both intrigues you and makes you fearful?" Ma'ketra signed to me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I told you already, I don't really want to talk about it."

"You seemed as if you wanted to tell the walkers earlier, but they would not listen."

"I wasn't sure I wanted to then, but it doesn't matter now, anyway, it wouldn't change anything."

"Still, perhaps it would do your mind well to share it. Bad memories are worse if you keep them to yourself, and this one does not like seeing you so vulnerable. It is unlike the you Ma'ketra has come to know."

"They aren't bad memories though, at least, what I can remember of them."

"Oh, so it is a story, then? You still owe Ma'ketra a favour from earlier, so do yourself one and share what it is that bothers you about these Mages. For this one's sake to see you well, if not for your own."

"Fair enough... Well, it's not about the mages themselves. It's just the place, the College of Whispers."

"You have been there before?"

"No. Not me, someone I knew, back when I lived in High Rock."

"You do not know them anymore?"

Smallpaws considered how to answer that question, and decided it was easiest to answer it indirectly.

"He was a Breton kid, but he would be an adult by human standards now. We grew up together and he helped me learn how to read and write, and how to use magic. He himself had a special...untapped potential with magic that very few are born with, which surpassed even the Altmer's inborn ability. The College of Whispers took an interest in him, said they'd help him learn how to control it better. Then months later I got a letter...not actually adressed to me, but it said there was an accident at the College, and that he didn't survive it."

"Ah...Ma'ketra is sorry. You were close, no?"

"He was like a brother to me, and my friend, but in a way he was my father too. He...well, uh, he's kind of the one who gave me my name..."

Smallpaws sat there silently. He felt awkward for saying that, he hadn't told anyone it before. He hadn't intended to tell anyone, because he knew they would guess the rest. He knew that people would feel sorry for him if they knew he had been mistaken for a housecat at birth and given to someone as their pet for a birthday present. They wouldn't understand that if he could go back, he wouldn't have changed anything, or, not much anyway. He just hoped Ma'ketra would understand enough not to question it.

The walkers were still busy talking, arguing or debating. Smallpaws did not bother to listen.

"So you fear the college that killed him?" Ma'ketra signed at last.

"It's hard to say. I've always wanted to find out what actually happened to him. The letter never went into detail, because it wasn't adressed to people who would have been able to understand it. I considered going there myself, but when I saw it in the distance, I turned away. They wouldn't be able to understand an Alfiq, they would think I was a housecat, like everyone else. I travelled some more and ended up in Torval, and I kind of forgot about it since then. Until now."

"Perhaps the walkers here would help you learn what happened. You would at least get the chance to find out for yourself. If you still think it is something you should learn."

"It doesn't matter, since it doesn't look like we'll be going there anyway. Maybe that's just as well. Maybe I shouldn't know."

Ma'ketra looked sad for a few moments, but soon changed to a look of determination.

"Well, this one thinks you are wrong. If you turn away, you will regret this, and it will cloud your mind and keep you unhappy. Ma'ketra thinks you should know, and she will make sure you get the chance to find out."

Ma'ketra walked away from J'shabi's side, past Smallpaws, and returned to the camp.

"Ma'ketra? What are you doing?" J'shabi asked.

"You are changing your mind?" Followed Khinashi with a hopeful tone.

Ma'ketra did not turn to respond to them. She walked up to Ma'krin, who was busy licking clean a cooked leg of deer, and grabbed another with her mouth that he had not yet gotten to. Ma'krin's attention was immediately taken away from his own, and gave Ma'ketra a death stare.

Ma'ketra turned and ran away, over to where Khinashi was standing, when Ma'krin ran over to follow, she dropped the leg and held it tight beneath her feet.

"If you want this back, brother, then stand here and proclaim your will to going to this College of Whispers if the walkers ask you."

Ma'krin growled, taking it as a challenge. He never liked using signs much. He reached for the leg, but Ma'ketra held it back.

"Try to steal it and this one will put it where you cannot reach it. You would be a fool to think you could outrun her, you never have."

Ma'krin must have realized the logic in what she signed, because he immediately did as she asked and stood on the side of Khinashi for the vote.

"You want to go to the College too after all, Ma'krin?" Khinashi asked, she was more than a little surprised – and confused, as to what was happening.

Ma'krin begrudgingly nodded.

"What about you, Smallpaws? With Ma'krin voting, we are tied, so you must be our tiebreaker. Do we go or stay?"

Smallpaws looked at Ma'ketra and gave the single sign of thanks before joining her. Khinashi must have noticed, and for a moment he wondered if she understood that much of the language.

"Whatever, so it's settled, then. For better or worse, we go to the College of Whispers. I guess we should get packing." J'shabi announced. Everyone else departed from their votes and returned to camp with varying levels of enthusiasm.

Jahirr growled and stepped forward to look at both Ma'ketra and Smallpaws as they made their way back.

"You made a mistake rigging their vote, Ma'ketra. We should not go there, there is a danger the walkers are unaware of."

"If there is danger, Jahirr, then why do you not write it out to Khinashi, the only one of them who do not seem to realize this?" Ma'ketra responds.

"This one has lived among her and her father long enough to know she would only see that as all the more reason to try and stop the danger. She does not realize that not all problems can be solved. Jahirr only hopes that things will have changed since this one was last there."

"You've been to the College of Whispers before?" Smallpaws asked.

"Yes, with Jo'azha, long ago. This one would have preferred to never return. Perhaps we will be unfortunate enough for you to find out why, little one."


	4. Whisker to Whisper (Part 1)

The pride, with varying levels of eagerness, marched toward the dark walls of the College of Whispers, now visible over the hill they climbed. Khinashi's attempts at trying to convince the rest how exciting this is has been met with firm resistance in the form of complete and utter silence. Khinashi eventually gave up and kept the enthusiasm to herself.

J'shabi in the lead, stopped for a moment and looked around, before approaching a cluster of trees just before the descent from the hilltop.

"Alright, we're close enough, this seems like a good spot to-"

Ma'krin shakes off the luggage he was carrying and drops to the ground to rest against a tree.

"-set up camp...Right, Ma'krin."

Everyone followed Ma'krin's example and dropped their backpacks to the ground. The ones with thumbs began pitching tents, while the others unbundled the firewood and carved out a place for their cooking fire within the forest to avoid attracting undue attention. The process became systematic for everyone, a daily procedure as they made their way through Cyrodiil. Khinashi caught J'shabi looking to the sky in the east where dark clouds were forming, licking her finger to be able to tell the direction of the wind. Khinashi was about to say that was what whiskers were for, but decided against it.

"It looks like it'll reach here by midday." J'shabi said, sensing Khinashi's presence.

"Is that so important? The rain here has been but sprinkles compared to what we are used to in Torval."

"Not really, but it means Jizad and Jahirr will have to do their hunting earlier." J'shabi sighed.

She was right, Khinashi thought, Jahirr would not be able to track well in the rain, and the wildlife probably would not be out in the open with it pouring down anyway.

A thought occurred to Khinashi as a way of using this as another excuse to suggest staying at the college.

"You know, if this one were to ask, the mages at the College of Whispers could let us stay there while we help them – we would not have to do any hunting then. Even Jahirr and the twins might be allowed!"

J'shabi looked at Khinashi sternly, it was apparent she did not approve of Khinashi using J'shabi's sensibilities to persuade her of something she had already denied several times before.

"No, we can't risk that. We can't even let them know they're here, we don't know what they'd do if they knew two Senche and a Pahmar-raht were camped outside their walls."

"Probably nothing, J'shabi. Mages are often more open-minded, they get more than their fair share of discrimination already, remember."

"'Probably' isn't good enough. We aren't staying there very long anyway, just enough to talk to them and leave, once you find out what you wanted to know. Now come on, lets go and get this over with."

J'shabi started trekking down the hill. Khinashi looked back to the rest, who did not seem to protest at the idea of them leaving, and joined her.

"So you are coming to the college with Khinashi then? This one is surprised."

"I couldn't let you just walk into a place full of mages with spells that could incinerate you where you stand alone, could I?"

"That almost sounds like what you said when we went to the Dark Brotherhood for help."

"Which was just about as crazy, too."

Khinashi laughed, but it still stung that J'shabi held mages with such suspicion. She hoped J'shabi was wrong, that the others would be allowed in, that they would stay for longer, maybe allowing Khinashi a chance to learn some magic whilst they research the disappearance of the moons. Maybe it would be a chance to prove to J'shabi and the others that mages aren't inherently bad, either. Maybe.

Khinashi looked upon the dark stone walls of the college ahead of them. The college was shaped like a diamond, with thick corridors three-stories high between the diamond's four points, at which thicker spiral towers were placed. The center of the diamond was a large spiral roof, most likely above the lobby at which the largest meetings and lunch was held. It would be inside the lobby that another ruin of an Oblivion gate stands, and where whispers from denizens of Oblivion can be heard throughout the college at certain times - hence its name, the College of Whispers.

Khinashi had read that the college was formed by a group of ex-mage guild members when the guild was abolished after the Oblivion Crisis – they had come to research this particular Oblivion gate, for it was one of the few not shut down until the Oblivion crisis ended worldwide. They had managed to tap into residual energies the gate left behind, and used them to travel to various planes of Oblivion, where our knowledge of the planes were greatly expanded.

Trips to Oblivion provided many useful things, such as plants only found in certain planes of Oblivion that could cure various diseases that were otherwise difficult, or make interesting and powerful new potions. Materials from Oblivion proved useful to blacksmiths, architects and craftsman alike, and were certainly welcome in rebuilding from the destruction caused by the Oblivion crisis itself. Weaknesses to exploit against the daedra and new ways to defend against them were also discovered, much to the delight of the recently crowned emporer at the time.

The mages grew in fame from their exploits and the college was built around the site of the Oblivion gate where most of their experiments were performed. Unfortunately, when they were officially sanctioned as a magical institution, and their experiments with Oblivion became more dangerous, politics invaded the college. Organizations such as the Vigilants of Stendarr, whom openly opposed the mage's use of the Oblivion gate, and the Synod – a rival magical institution rebuilt over the Arcane University in the Imperial City – convinced the Elder Council to restrict the College of Whispers from tampering with Oblivion, and so what made the College of Whispers so famous to begin with, became just another of the forbidden arts. Yet the whispers from Oblivion itself can still be heard to this day throughout the college.

And Khinashi cannot wait to hear them.

* * *

"So there it is, then." Smallpaws signed to Ma'ketra. He wasn't sure if he should be happy or sad to look upon the walls that killed his best friend. Regardless, he would endeavor to learn what happened to him, if he could at least remember that, it would be enough.

"Still so gloomy, Snorepaws? Ma'ketra would have thought you would be happier now that you can learn what happened to your friend."

"How can I be? Being here just brings back memories – or rather, the lack of them...Sorry – you're right, I should be happy. Thanks again for making this possible."

"You are beginning to make little sense again Snorepaws."

Smallpaws walked over to Jahirr, who was preparing for his hunt with Jizad. He mewed to grab his attention so he could sign to him.

"Jahirr, I've got to go check something out, could you write to Jizad explaining that I'm just exploring nearby in case he asks where I've gone?"

"This one is not your servant. If you have something to say to Jizad then write it to him yourself."

"Well, that's not going to happen. I just thought it'd be courteous to let someone know before I run off this time."

"Then you will be going nowhere, little one. This one will not let you leave without telling him."

"Oh? How are you going to do that if you're supposed to be hunting with him soon? Besides, he won't notice I'm gone, I'll probably be back before you are anyway...And if you think I'm going to tag along on that hunt of yours so you can stop me, I'll scare any animal you try to track away. No, I'll be leaving."

Jahirr growled angrily, but Smallpaws could tell Jahirr knew he was serious. He had done that a few days ago as a prank, which made them take an hour longer.

"Do not go far." Jahirr said, beaten.

Smallpaws rolled his eyes and trodded toward the hill slope. Ma'ketra growled and chased after him.

"Snorepaws, this one will come with you. It would not be wise for you to go alone, there are many predators who would see one of your size as easy pickings."

"I've traveled across Tamriel on my own, Ma'ketra, I'll be fine climbing down a hill and walking around a college by myself, thanks..."

"Fine, but let this one join you anyway. It would be much more fun than staying here at camp with Ma'krin."

"I'm just looking for something, it won't be any adventure this time, but you can come along if you really want to, I guess."

Ma'ketra walked alongside of Smallpaws, and as they left, he waited for the inevitable question. Smallpaws could have snuck out unseen, but Ma'ketra was too conspicuous.

"Where are you going?" Jizad asks, standing up from the fire he had finally created. Smallpaws was more than a little irritated that the walkers always felt the need to check up on them if they wanted to go explore, but if any of them leave without saying anything it's fine...

Even more irritating was when they asked questions they knew they wouldn't understand the answer to in their sign language.

"To Masser and Secunda of course, where else?" Smallpaws signed, for he knew whatever he signed would be irrelevant anyway. The dumb look on his face confirmed he didn't know what he said, and so Smallpaws turned around and continued walking.

"Do not sign it, just write out," Jizad said, collecting some material from one of their sacks of luggage and bring it over to him.

"It is not safe for Ma'ketra to be near the college if that is where you are going, it would be too easy for someone to see you." He pressed on. Smallpaws was angered by the suggestion and hissed at him, and then used telekinesis to lift one of the supplies of water they had onto the fire Jizad had only just finished creating.

Jizad sighed and gave up, while Jahirr gave Smallpaws a disappointed shake of his head.

Ma'ketra walked in front of Smallpaws as they continued their descent.

"That was rude of you, Snorepaws."

"If the walkers don't want to bother learning our sign language then I don't have to bother answering to them."

"What is it with you and your refusal to write anything? It needlessly complicates things, and is getting quite annoying, to be honest."

"Maybe it does, maybe it is, but there's a reason for it, and maybe I'll tell you. But not now, first I want to check the graveyard around the college. I want to see if he's there."

* * *

Khinashi and J'shabi walked up to the metal door, almost several times their size. The carvings on it were intricate and illustrated the various schools of magic, as well as other symbols known to the magical world. Khinashi noticed Mysticism was not among them, which meant they must have remade the door sometime after the college's initial construction.

"What is it with people wanting to build these huge doors all the time? Why can't they just be simple, small doors about the size of the people intended to use them?" J'shabi asks.

"Maybe they were built this way in case a Senche-raht wanted to visit them." Khinashi responds sarcastically.

"How thoughtful of them, then." J'shabi responded with her own joking tone.

J'shabi did not respond, instead she pushed open the door with more effort than was necessary, and the doors swung open freely until they bounced off of the wall.

The sight before Khinashi's eyes brought her in awe of the place, it was the lobby – everything seemed to give off a blue tint, as if the walls themselves radiated magicka. Blue flame torches dotted the walls throughout the circular structure, with large, thin windows inbetween every other one of them. Large tables were set against the wall, beneath the windows – for the student's lunch, Khinashi guessed. Bookcases and displays and notices tacked onto walls filled the empty spaces inbetween. In the center the lobby descended into a large circular ring, and within the middle of that ring stood another layer of bricks circling the remnants of the Oblivion gate, much like the one she saw in Kvatch, except there was an indention for an orb to be placed.

Khinashi figured that might be the sigil stones that held together the pocket planes of Oblivion they came from. The fact it was not there could be for many a reason – one being that they aren't allowed to use the Oblivion gate for experiments anymore being the most likely.

Khinashi walked forward, to the inner ring, and noticed that the lobby extended above, along the northern wall there was a set of stairs that led to the upper floor, which seemed to be where more tables and furniture was placed, branching out into hallways much like the lobby below. Khinashi turned around and saw that the stair went up even further, all the way up to the spiral rooftop where the headmaster's room must be.

"So...where is everyone?" J'shabi asked at last, breaking Khinashi's observation.

She realized it was a good question though, throughout the entire lobby, Khinashi could not see or hear anyone, and the walls of the building indicated that if there were anyone to hear, her Khajiit ears would pick up echoes at the very least.

"Khinashi does not know...Hello? Is anyone here?" As expected, Khinashi's voice echoed through the lobby – through the halls, but she could not so much as hear footsteps in response.

"Maybe they're out somewhere? Or maybe it's not a time of year they study?"

Khinashi snorted at J'shabi's guesses. "This place looks as if it could house almost a hundred people, J'shabi, there surely must be at least someone here regardless of the time of year – we heard they were doing research on the Moons in the first place, there would have to be people here to do that research, no?"

"I guess so, but...Where are they then?" J'shabi asked again, as if the answer could be any different.

Khinashi heard the sound of a door swinging open from the top of of the spiral staircase, and heard footsteps from at least two people, stumbling and running down.

"I know I heard someone, we need to get out of here now!" A young human, female voice said.

"You could try to be a little quieter, you know, and not make every step sound like an earthquake." This voice sounded more elven, and definitely male.

Khinashi grabbed J'shabi and ducked behind a plant as the two above kept running down the stairs. They met the top balcony and ran off down one of the hallways.

Khinashi considered what to do and after a couple seconds, darted out from the plant pot and to the stairs to reach the upper level. J'shabi ran after her.

"Khinashi, I don't think those people want to be found." She whispered.

"They are the only ones we have seen so far, we might as well ask them where everyone else is."

J'shabi must have realized the futility in debating and just tried to keep up with Khinashi.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Khinashi looked down the hall just in time to see them close a door behind them, on the side. She pressed on to follow them.

The hallway was rather boringly decorative compared to the lobby – the walls had maps and more notices, with the occasional plant, but otherwise was rather dull. The amount of doors branching off from each side suggested this was the personal rooms of the students. Khinashi was surprised that they had so many, and figured it must be very expensive to become a member of the college.

She reached the door that the two went through, and gave a signal to J'shabi to stay back a bit. Khinashi dropped to a crouch and snuck silently close to the door.

"So where are we going to put it?" The female voice spoke – Khinashi could tell the accent better now, and it seemed Nordish like Tolgunn, except with a lot of Cyrodiil in it. A Nord raised in Cyrodiil, perhaps.

"I still don't see why you thought to stash it in my room, it was your idea after all, I don't want to be held responsible for this if it's found."

"Yours was closer, and besides, you're the one who'll be able to use it. I don't know anything about how to use sigil stones, remember?"

"Whatever, just...stash it in bed for now, we'll figure out what to do with it later."

"We're going to be in trouble aren't we? I know I heard someone, it could have been the headmaster, if it was..."

"If we do manage to finish his research for him, he'll be thankful we did this. He might even reward us."

"I can't imagine Ceryeas being thankful for anything..."

"Quit your complaining and just act natural, we'll come back to work on it when we find out who you heard."

Khinashi leaped away from the door and then several steps backward near J'shabi before the door opened, pretending she had just been walking down the hall when it did.

The Dunmer walked out, followed by the Nord, who jumped from shock when she saw the two Khajiit.

The Nord was about to say something, but she was cut off by the Dunmer raising his hand to her and stepping forward. He quickly scanned over the two Khajiit, if he had any hint of surprise, fear or confusion upon seeing them, he hid it well.

"You're clearly not students here and you don't look old enough to join. You're wandering about the upper halls of the college and you haven't started running away upon being spotted. Curious. Do you actually have a reason for being in this highly suspicious situation or should I summon security to have you removed for trespassing?" The Dunmer spoke plainly, almost boringly.

"'Summon' security?" J'shabi said under her breath.

Khinashi responded without hesitation.

"We learned your college is looking into the cause for the disappearance of the moons – the Void Nights anomaly – and wish to help you, we have information about it that could prove useful."

"Ooh, the Void Nights? I've wanted to know about that too!" The Nord exclaimed.

"The college doesn't accept outside help, at least not from just any cat-child who wanders in here, I trust you understand. Now if you'll please turn around and leave, this will be easier for all of us." The Dunmer spoke over the Nord.

"Alright, sorry to have bothered you." J'shabi said, and turned around, waiting for Khinashi to follow.

Khinashi did not move, and crossed her arms. She did not like the Dunmer thinking of them as little children – the Dunmer looked to be only just entering adulthood, and the Nord could not be more than a year or two older than J'shabi. They wore robes not too unlike those of Khinashi's that her father gave her, except with less layers, and the length led down to their feet all around them. The designs were much different, too, but had an air of plainness about them. These were clearly robes for students, not teachers or higher ranking members of a magical institution.

The Dunmer boasted the dark red eyes and grey ashen skin their race is known for, with sleek, short black hair that was taller in the front. He had no facial hair to speak of, and had a gaunt face with a a long chin and nose, and an expression of disapproval that looked to be permanently etched into him, even if he were to smile.

The Nord looked tall, even for Nord standards, which was almost a head taller than the Dunmer despite him looking older, and which was about half the height taller than Khinashi and J'shabi. She had long brown hair which hung unrestrained around her, with her eyes of the same colour. Her nose seemed big for a human, and it had a bulging tip, while her face was more curved and round than she would have expected a Nord to normally be. Perhaps she was of mixed descent. It was hard for Khinashi to tell with humans.

"You are just a student here, yes?" Khinashi says, ending her observation. "Khajiit does not think it is your place to decide. Let us speak to the one leading that project, and see what they think."

The Dunmer's expression instantly turned angry.

"I am a third-year adept in the art of Conjuration. I can judge if it's worth my colleague's time to consider help from two trespassing children. Now begone."

"Hmm, who was it that was leading it? I forgot who won the vote for it...Was it Perien, or did Arivanya win again?" The Nord spoke aloud to herself.

The Dunmer lifted his hands, to reveal a floating purple orb in each, as he began channeling a conjuration spell.

"Okay, we're sorry - we'll leave! Let's go Khinashi!" J'shabi tugged on Khinashi's shoulder to leave, but Khinashi still stood firm. J'shabi tugged harder, but she would not move.

"Very well, then Khajiit will be sure to inform another member of the college about why the headmaster's notes on sigil stones are missing. How does the College of Whispers deal with thieves amongst its numbers, this one wonders?"

The Dunmer's arms dropped to his side, and the Nord's mouth gaped open with fear.

"How do you know about..." The Dunmer said in a demanding tone. "Fine. I see where this is going, but it doesn't matter anyway. Yes, you heard correctly that the College of Whispers was researching the Void Nights Anomaly, but it is no longer a concern of ours. That project was canceled a few days ago."

"You gave up?" Khinashi asked.

"No, we did not 'give up', it simply became less of a priority. When the initial scare was over and life seemed to be going on as normal, the headmaster returned us to other avenues of a little more significance to us and the empire."

"So you gave up..." Khinashi said disappointedly, lowering her head. J'shabi stepped toward the Dunmer.

"Did you learn anything about it while you were researching it?" J'shabi asked, much to Khinashi's surprise.

The Dunmer sighed. "I wasn't assigned to that project so I wouldn't know, but I heard they didn't make any breakthroughs. It was mostly testing theories they came up with to see how it might be possible, but, judging by how absurd some of their theories were I...doubt their tests procured anything of use."

"Well, we'd like to learn what they found out anyway." J'shabi insisted. Khinashi wondered what J'shabi's reasons for pressing further were, when she was only moments ago wanting to leave.

"Very well, I suppose, it's not my time you'll be wasting. You'll no-doubt have noticed by now that there aren't many Mages present at the College of Whispers right now though, and we don't take kindly to visitors at any time unless they have better reasons to be here, so-"

"Where is everyone anyway?" Khinashi asked, interrupting him.

The Nord blurted out her response. "Most of the college is out investigating an Ayleid ruin that was recently uncovered beneath an ancient rockslide! It's one of the few that haven't been raided by adventurer's, and we think we could learn a lot about Ayleid culture and history from within!"

"And their magic." The Dunmer added.

"And so the whole college is at the Ayleid ruin?" Khinashi asked incredulously.

"Well, not everyone was allowed to go..." The Nord said shamefully, and the Dunmer looked off to the side. "Since they'll be there for over a week, most who weren't allowed to go decided to go home to spend the time with their families, and others made their own plans, since no classes will be held until they get back anyway. The Groundskeeper Wilxton is here, and the Conjuration professor Merellis stayed behind to look after those who stayed here, but he's...Weird. Oh, and the headmaster I guess. And us, and a few other students, but I don't know where they are."

"Probably off getting drunk in Skingrad knowing them." The Dunmer clarified. "They're so...lower class, it's a shame on the College's good name that they were even accepted."

"So who would we speak to to learn about the Void Nights?" J'shabi asked, bringing the conversation back to relevance.

"The only one still here that would know anything about the project would be Headmaster Ceryaes himself, and I honestly doubt he'll have the time nor the care to answer questions from wandering children. No doubt you'll disregard that logic and ask him anyway. Who knows, maybe he's in a good mood."

"This one does not think he will be very happy when he realizes his research is missing." Khinashi noted.

"Where can we find him?" J'shabi asks.

"He should be returning soon from his walk around the college grounds. It might make a better first impression if you weren't trespassing when meeting him...Actually, that reminds me – you're quite lucky you chose the time you did to wander in here, I had to banish the atronach patrols temporarily while we performed our little heist. You would have likely been ripped apart or incinerated without warning had it been any other time. I'll have to summon them again before Ceryeas returns, during which time you won't want to be inside."

"I'll go with them then while you do that, to help introduce them to Ceryeas and...not be here when you summon them, just in case?" The Nord spoke with a tremor of fear and paranoia.

"Your fears are predictably irrational and unwarranted, but expected and typical from a first-year. Very well."

* * *

'Jasper Frey

4E 78 – 4E 96

A kind-hearted Breton boy, full of energy and spirit, with an inborn ability to channel the essence of magicka limitlessly, which ultimately led to his death in the Incident of 4E 96.'

Smallpaws read and re-read the inscription on the memorial. He sighed and turned around, to see Ma'ketra looking toward him from the distance, with a sorrow in her eyes.

"So he is there?" Ma'ketra signed.

"Yeah, just one more name etched into the memorial now, with only a single line to describe him...Only a single line written to remember him by." Smallpaws sighed again and dropped to the ground from an overwhelming sense of exhaustion.

"This one is sorry for your loss."

Smallpaws didn't respond, and instead just tried to distract his thoughts. His stomach hurt from grief, and felt hollow inside, his eyelids weighed tons and wanted to close shut, but he kept them open – because in the darkness there is only thought - thoughts he wanted to keep away from. He tried to focus on different things to evade them, but his eyes could never stay in one place. Even when he was getting dizzy he refused to let the thoughts into his mind, until eventually his head hurt from the strain and was forced to close them.

Ma'ketra growled for his attention, and he remembered she was there, which gave him an idea.

"Snorepaws? Is something wrong?"

"So what now? Maybe we could go back to camp and play a trick on your brother. That's always fun, right? Or maybe Jahirr, he's gotten off easy for too long, it's about time that changed."

"What?" Ma'ketra signed. She looked utterly confused. Smallpaws stood up and began walking away, only turning around after a few seconds to see that Ma'ketra hadn't moved.

"Come on, what are you waiting for? The others might be back, maybe they learned about the Void Nights, maybe we'll be going somewhere else now."

"But what about-" Was all that Smallpaws saw Ma'ketra sign, before he turned his head away and continued walking.

Ma'ketra ran around in front of him.

"What has gotten into you, Snorepaws? Why are you acting so strange?" Ma'ketra signed with annoyance now.

"Oh, thanks for reminding me, you can take us back." Smallpaws leaped on top of Ma'ketra and climbed to his usual resting spot. Ma'ketra didn't approve of this and tried to shake him off. Smallpaws dug his claws into the cloth around her neck to hang on, which prompted her to roll on her back, forcing Smallpaws to jump off before being crushed by the Senche.

"Fine, I'll just walk then."

Before Smallpaws could make any distance, Ma'ketra lifted him up by a tug of her claw on his Portneu shawl, and pinned him to a branch on a nearby tree.

"Ma'ketra will not let you down until you explain what is going on with you. Why do you suddenly want to leave? Was this not what you wanted – to learn what happened to your friend?"

"Well yeah, it was at first. Now though, maybe it would be best I didn't know, that's not the best thing to remember someone by is it? How they died?"

Ma'ketra eyed him suspiciously.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Well, I just thought that, well, seeing his grave, might remind me of something, and well, it didn't. It just made me realize something, and because of that I'd feel better if I was far away from here until I forget."

"And what is it that, then?"

Smallpaws tugged at the branch for a few seconds, seeing if he could get down himself and avoid explaining. After enough failed attempts, Ma'ketra lifted him up from the branch and back on the ground, but gave a look that said without signing, that if he tried to run he'd go right back up there.

"Alright, I'll tell you, it might be easier to start from the beginning though." Smallpaws signed. Ma'ketra didn't interrupt him, and so he continued.

"What do you know about Alfiq?"

"What about Alfiq? Aside from that you are one? That this one's parents were Alfiq, Jo'banja an Alfiq-raht? You are small and good with magic. What more is there to say? And what does this have to do with anything?"

"Is there anything else that sticks out about us as peculiar?"

Ma'ketra thought for a few moments, and then shrugged.

"Alfiq...Hmm, your kind tends not to be good at multi-tasking, and can be forgetful at times, or so this one has heard. Is there something else?"

"Have you ever seen an Alfiq mention they'll write something down in 'their book', or that 'this will be going in the book'?"

"Well, yes, this one's Alfiq father is a writer, so he tends to write a lot of course. Hmm, then again, now that you mention it, Mother has mentioned writing before too, and Jo'banja always keeps a journal near her that she does not like others reading. You are the only Alfiq this one knows that does not like writing. Why is that?"

"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out. You've never heard of a krozijkajabo before? I guess it's not something Alfiq like to bring up around others, but it's sacred for every Alfiq."

"Krozijkajabo? Thought-book?"

"Yeah. You were close the second time, Alfiq are more than just 'forgetful', we lose our memory over time. It's our brains – they're built differently, more compact, so that we can still think as fast as others, even though they're not as big, but what comes with that means we don't remember as much as others. Our memories fade away over time to be replaced with new ones, and when they're gone - they're gone. It's like...waking up, but not knowing you were asleep before."

Smallpaws stopped, thinking of how to explain the rest. Ma'ketra looked on with full attention, she seemed surprised, and Smallpaws was just as much so, he would have thought Ma'ketra would know all of this already.

"There's a saying, 'A Senche will remember the face of a stranger as well as their own reflection, but an Alfiq will forget their own Mother before the year is over.' It's an exaggeration, it's not that bad, but it varies from Alfiq to Alfiq. Or so I've read. To combat our fading memory, every Alfiq is given a Krozijkajabo at birth, a thought-book. It's like a journal, but it's the most important possession any Alfiq will ever have throughout their whole life. It's where they write everything that's most important to them – or anything they just want to remember. Names and descriptions of people, what they mean to them. Events, accomplishments, everything. In a few years when they read that book, they won't even remember writing the earlier sections. The Krozijkajabo is our sole means of remembering their past, our entire life's story. Upon death, a family member or friend will write the final page in their book and give it to the Clan Mother of their hometown – or whomever gave them it in the first place. The same is done for the first few pages of the book when they're born, until they learn to write themselves."

"This one feels ignorant, and terrible, for not knowing any of this-wait...then where is yours?"

"In the same place it has been since I was given it – about a year ago. Somewhere in the House of Cats in Torval. I've never touched it."

"But...What? What do you do to record your memories, then?"

"I don't."

"Then how do you remember your past?"

"I...don't. That's the point. I don't remember – not much, anyway. You have to realize, I wasn't born in Elsweyr, I never knew my parents, I never knew I was an Alfiq, a Khajiit, until much later. Or atleast, I must not have, I can't even say that much for certain. I never knew about the Krozijkajabo until...Until it was too late."

"Too late?"

"You want to know why I hate writing? Why I refuse whenever I'm asked? If I failed to remember what was most important to me, then nothing is worth remembering. I never knew to write in a thought-book until it was too late, and so I won't write at all."

There was a long lapse of signing between them for the next several seconds. Smallpaws didn't feel any better for sharing that truth with someone. He remembers all of his time in Torval, and his exploration across Tamriel, and maybe a year back in Wayrest, but his memory of his old friend is fading, and can only remember the barest details, never any specifics. He knows that he taught him to read and write, and helped him discover that he was a Khajiit. He remembers what his friend told him about the past beyond that, but not from his own memory, and which isn't much. Not enough.

"Nothing is worth remembering?" Ma'ketra asked.

Smallpaws felt guilty then, that was one of the reasons he wanted to keep it a secret. There was no nice way to say it, but to him it was clear. It was all or nothing, and all wasn't an option. He realized it would be easiest just to ignore the question.

"I was hoping that maybe, coming here might...remind me of some things. Restore my memory, if just a little. It didn't, and it only made me regret it more."

"So you do not want to know what happened to your friend?"

"I do, but...I'm not sure if it's worth it. It'll just make me regret it more, it'll take longer for me to forget it entirely, when at least if I don't, then in a year or less, I'll have forgotten him entirely by then, and I won't be able to remember to regret it. If I stay and try to learn more, it will take a few more years, and I might not have learned anything. It's a risk."

"So in truth, you do not really want to remember at all, you just want to forget so you do not hurt as much."

"I never said that."

"It is clear that it is what you mean. It is not your memory you truly seek but a peace of mind, you only came here in hopes of remembering to ease your mind, but at the first sign of doubt, you want to run away and forget completely."

"You know, when you say it that way, it almost seems like you think I'm wrong in what I want."

"Ma'ketra says it as she sees it, and she sees a coward."

"That's funny, I'm pretty sure it was you who's jumped at their own shadow before."

"At least Ma'ketra only jumped, she did not run away with her tail between her legs like you!"

Smallpaws instinctively hissed and started circling around her, Ma'ketra roared back and did the same.

"Is someone there?" A voice called out. More importantly, a voice they did not recognize. Instantly Smallpaws and Ma'ketra forgot their quarrel and remembered that being spotted could prove fatal to them, especially so close to the college walls.

Smallpaws looked around for a place to hide – the voice was close, and so they didn't have much time. He'd be able to turn invisible, but he wasn't skilled enough to do so for Ma'ketra, and finding something big enough for her to hide behind would be difficult.

Ma'ketra tried ducking behind a gravestone but Smallpaws could see both sides of her from around it. He looked back and saw a shadow of someone walking toward the edge of the wall, soon to see them in seconds.

He turned back, and, to his surprise, saw Ma'ketra jumping up and pulling herself into an open window inside the college, but she wouldn't make it in time. He ran over to her and considered telekinesis for only a brief second, but it was clear it wouldn't be fast enough, if it would even work for this situation.

Instead, he withdrew his claws and plunged them into Ma'ketra's lower back. The two of them, with a yelp issued from Ma'ketra, flung into the college, and crashed into some manner of skeletal anatomy display, dispersing the hundreds of bones throughout the room.

"I know I heard something." the voice spoke again.

Smallpaws cast an invisibility spell and leapt up to the window sill while Ma'ketra crawled under a bed. He could see an elderly human, probably Breton, walking around in different directions with ice spells ready to be launched from his hands. He wore basic robes, but his age suggested he was probably a part of the faculty of the college, maybe a groundskeeper, and he wasn't going to stop until he found the source of the sound.

Smallpaws leapt down from the sill inside the room and tucked himself out of his red and gold hood and shawl he always wore, and purposely dispelled his invisibility. Looking no different from an ordinary housecat now, he jumped back up and mewed innocently, licking his paws and drawing the mage's attention.

"Ah, it's just a cat." The Breton said with a chuckle. He lowered his spells and approached Smallpaws, and then lifted up his hand to pet him.

"Hey there little kitty, what are you doing up there?"

Before the hand could make contact, Smallpaws reached out and nipped his hand with his teeth, and then jumped down to the ground outside.

"Ow, hey!" the old man shouted after him.

Smallpaws ran behind a Gravestone and turned back invisible. The groundskeeper looked behind it and then looked confused. He looked around more for where he went, but must have lost interest and gave up, and continued his patrol around the college.

Smallpaws ran back and jumped up back onto the window sil, with considerably more difficulty without a furry back to help climb up on most of the way. He dropped back into the room and saw Ma'ketra crawling out from under the bed.

"Did you really have to bite him?" Ma'ketra signed.

"Humans have no regard for the amount of time it takes to groom my fur just the way I like it. Petting it would just mess it all up."

Ma'ketra's response to this is to crawl out further and lick the top of Smallpaw's head, making the fur stick up and wildly.

"If you were anyone else, Ma'ketra, anyone else..." Smallpaws signs irritatingly.

Ma'ketra snorts a chuckle. "It looks nice on you. It makes you look more fierce."

"Oh, I'll show you fierce." Smallpaws playfully tackles Ma'ketra's legs, making Ma'ketra chuckle some more.

"Anyway, we should get out of here before someone finds us." Ma'ketra signed.

Smallpaws shook his head. "I think we'd be safer in here for awhile, that seemed like he was patrolling the College, so he'll probably be around for awhile. Besides, I think we'd learn more about what happened to Jasper in here than outside, don't you?"

Ma'ketra looked surprised at Smallpaw's change of heart, once more, and smiled.

* * *

"Hmm, roughly 4 and a half feet tall, no tail, short fur, elven-like ears, plantigrade feet...and the retractable claws, night eyes, and sharp teeth like all Khajiit have. You're an...Ohmes, right?" The Nord girl asks, circling around them as they walk through the college halls.

"Yeah, I am!" J'shabi says surprised, and the subtle annoyed look in her face faded away. Khinashi laughed at this.

"That is a good way to be on J'shabi's good side – by knowing her as a Khajiit, rather than a Bosmer. Even amongst our own, some have mistaken her before. That is impressive."

"I can see why, at least from a distance, normally Ohmes paint their faces with patterns to look like more Khajiit right? Ohmes and Ohmes-rahts are the only forms to lose any fur patterns that would normally appear."

"Do not forget Tojay." Khinashi corrects.

"Yeah, but they don't even have fur." The Nord responds quickly.

"I didn't want any paint or tattoos. I don't like the look of it." J'shabi clarified.

"I can relate to that – other Nords sometimes like wearing warpaint all the time, but I think it looks silly."

"Nords often do not like magic, no?"

"Not usually, I guess that's something we have in common then. Suthays are supposed to be the sneaky type, but judging by your robes, you're more interested in the arcane too, huh?"

Khinashi smiled again, and continued to be impressed with the Nord, and she could tell J'shabi was too.

"This is true. No one we have come across since we came to Cyrodiil have even mentioned our forms, nor seemed to know anything of our culture. Khinashi is curious, what else do you know of us?"

"I've read about how the phases of the moon choose how you look at birth, that you love Moon Sugar and sweets in general, and that you love keeping secrets. That's probably why most people don't know about you, and because only few of your forms ever venture outside of Elsweyr."

"It is complicated. You smooth-skins would not accept our four-legged brethren in your walls if they saw them. You would see them as animals and kill them, but they are as intelligent as anyone, they just cannot speak the spoken language."

"Maybe you just need to introduce them better. You can't blame them for not knowing if you don't explain it to them, and if they never explore outside of Elsweyr, there's never going to be a chance for society to accept them."

The Nord's words spoke exactly what Khinashi felt. She was tempted, so tempted, to tell her that might be possible, but J'shabi must have sensed Khinashi's intentions, for she gave a disapproving frown and shook her head.

"Oh, I'm sorry, speaking of introductions, I never told you my name. I'm Mulfendun, but everyone just calls me 'Muffin' because they apparently fail at pronouncing draconic. The Dunmer, my friend you met earlier, is Divyral."

"Draconic?" J'shabi asked. Khinashi did not know either.

"Yeah, it's a very old language, said to be used by the dragons themselves once, when there still were dragons anyway. Very few know it, but it's been a tradition for my father's side of the family to name their children in the language for as long as he can remember. Mine means 'Strong Will Grace'...I think the grace part was a mistake honestly."

"So you believe dragons existed then?"

"I think there's enough evidence to more than prove they have. I've never been to Skyrim myself, but there are supposedly burial mounds scattered throughout which contain the bones of ancient dragons. Some have been unearthed, and they certainly fit the picture."

"What do you think happened to them?"

"Who knows? Maybe they were all killed. Maybe they left. It's just one of the many mysteries of the world, like the disappearance of the Dwemer."

The group approached the front door to the college, and pushed open the large thing as the outside breeze coolly rushed in to greet them, which felt nice against Khinashi's fur. The clouds were settling in, but it would still be awhile until the rain arrived.

Khinashi looked over to the hills where their camp was settled, and desperately wanted to tell the Nord about them. If there were anyone in Cyrodiil who would accept them, she knew it would be her.

"So...You have never seen one of our four-legged forms before, then, 'Muffin'?" Khinashi inquired.

"No, not outside of books anyway, unless my pet cat back at home was an Alfiq, but I really doubt that. I'd love to if I ever had the chance. Maybe some day I'll travel to Elsweyr after I graduate and see them for myself. I don't doubt that they're intelligent."

"Perhaps you may not have to wait?" Khinashi subtly said.

"What do you mean?"

At this point J'shabi was repeatedly staring at Khinashi and tensing her face to silently tell her no, over and over. Muffin suddenly looked at J'shabi, who then stopped, and looked embarrassed.

"So when was the Headmaster supposed to get here again?" J'shabi asked, trying to change the subject.

"He shouldn't be much longer now, unless he went off and disappeared again."

"Disappeared?"

"Sometimes he just disappears for a few hours or more, I couldn't tell you where, he never says, not even to the instructors. He's a strange one at times."

"So we're just supposed to wait out here until then?" J'shabi asked, her annoyance returning.

This settled it for Khinashi.

"You seem trustworthy to this one. While we wait for your Headmaster to return, Khinashi feels you may like to meet some of our friends who have traveled here with us-"

"Khinashi, no, we can't-" J'shabi interjected.

"Yes we can J'shabi, and Muffin is right. If we do not make a point to introduce them, they will never be accepted outside of Elsweyr, and they will always have to hide."

"There are others with you?" Muffin asked.

"Yes. Come, this one will introduce you."


	5. Whisker to Whisper (Part 2)

I peeked my head out of the door, and looked from side to side to make sure the coast was clear. I didn't see or hear anyone, and so gave the sign for Ma'ketra to follow. The bumbling senche did the best she could to be sneaky, but there was only so much a several hundred pound being could do to keep quiet, and I was beginning to have second doubts about this. We were lucky the place seemed almost abandoned, which was a bit eerie, almost.

The hallways seemed long and symmetrical in pattern, the whole place used a lot of diamonds in their architecture, everything gave off a slight blue tint too, even in the grey of the walls, as if the whole building radiated magicka...or maybe it could just be the blue flame torches used for lighting everything, I realized.

"So beautiful, if a bit ominous. So many rooms to choose from, where do we start?" Ma'ketra signed.

We looked around, there were too many rooms to choose from, and they all only had numbers to signify their purpose. This was most likely just people's bedrooms, so they probably wouldn't have anything relevant to their search anyway.

"I...Don't know. Where would you go if you wanted to find information on how a former student died?" I signed, although in doing so I realized how obvious the answer was.

"Probably in the lists of everyone here, like how the Clan Mother's keep lists of everyone who lives, moves, dies, and is born, in their cities and villages." Ma'ketra signs in response.

"Uh, I knew that." I signed in embarrasment. "A registry of sorts - of course."

"Why did you ask if you already knew the answer, Snorepaws?" Ma'ketra signed and rolled her eyes.

I ignored her and intently began walking down the hall toward the center of the building, lost in thought. Where would the registry be? That could be anywhere, an office, a closet, someone's room...we wouldn't have the time to search before someone would-

My thoughts awere interrupted as Ma'ketra picks me up by my shawl with her teeth and quickly barges into a room on her left. Ma'ketra closes the door behind them as she drops me.

"What was that for?" I signed out of annoyance.

"Something just...appeared! Some sort of...floating rock monster! It almost saw us! Or maybe it did, this one could not tell where its eyes were!"

Indeed, I could hear a rumbling sound of crackling rocks just outside the door, but it fades away, presumably going further down the hall away from the center of the building.

"That sounds like a Storm Atronach. Someone must be practicing conjuation nearby. It should be gone now."

"Are you sure? What if they are used as guards to patrol the college for intruders like us?"

I laughed. "Impossible. No spell like that could be maintained across enough of them to patrol the whole college, and if it did, it would take the mage's entire constant concentration."

Ma'ketra shrugged.

"Ahh! Mountain lion!" the shriek came from behind them in the room, they turned around and saw a very frightened Imperial man jumping up on a dresser to be as far away from them as possible. Ma'ketra tries to raise her paws up and shake her head to indicate that they don't mean him harm, but it did nothing. I tried once again, in vain, to try and use Illusion magic to communicate, but it only made it worse when he heard a loud growl mixed with other sounds coming from what he thought was a housecat. It probably alerted others of their presence too.

I use levitation to get the doorknob to turn open, and just in time to see two flame atronachs being conjured in the room.

"Run!" I sign to Ma'ketra, and jump on her head.

We burst out of the room, dodging a firebolt that sped past us and hit the wall on the other side. I saw the Storm atronach further down turn around and notice us. It immediatly charged up a lightning bolt in our direction. Ma'ketra couldn't see it, so I used my claws to tug at her ears and lean to the right to get her to move. She just barely got away in time before the lightning struck, which made a deathly sound wave across the halls. If no one had heard us before, everyone knew we were here now.

Ma'ketra was running so fast, swerving to the left and ride, dodging more of the spells as they came toward us, that it was hard to hold on. We ran to the center of the college, where we saw the remains of a mostly intact Oblivion Gate, which would have fascinated me at any other time. Around near the entrance to the college was another Storm Atronach, and another I could see coming down the stairs from above, and more from the other branching hallways. I was confused...how? Who is controlling these things like that? It was beyond any magic I ever heard of.

With no place to go, and fighting being completely out of the question, I scanned the room for anything that could help. I spotted a trap door just behind the Oblivion gate remains. It probably lead to another death trap, but it was our only option. I hopped off of Ma'ketra and pointed over to it for her to see, and quickly signed that I would make a distraction for her to get it open in time.

I turned around to see all of the Storm Atronachs approaching closer and closer, almost within distance to hit us with their lightning, and I tried to do an illusion spell I had never attempted before.

I focused my mind on what I looked like, and tried to imagine myself in other places next to me, but it was too difficult. Copies of myself started blending and spreading out of me, but returned to me just as much. It was too sudden, and under too much pressure.

I heard the lightning bolts of one of the atronachs charge up, just as Ma'ketra swung open the trap door and jumped down. I winced, awaiting electrocution, but it never came. I waited a few seconds, and then opened my eyes to see the Atronach standing in front of me, but doing nothing other than holding the spell, and then it lowered it. The other atronachs approached me too, they seemed to be looking at me, studying me, if they had eyes, but were not hostile.

My only guess was that they were malfunctioning, I guess when you have to concentrate on that big of a spell it happens, but...they keep following me as I back up closer and closer to the trap door. I don't question whatever miracle led to that happening and make the most of it before it ends. I jump down below on Ma'ketra's head and use alteration to pull the trap door shut above us, and lock it.

Strange that it wasn't locked before when Ma'ketra opened it, actually.

* * *

"It's fascinating getting to hear about your culture Khinashi." Muffin says as we continue walking toward camp. "Most Khajiit that I've asked about it always get annoyed after the first couple questions."

"Most people, Khajiit or no, this one talks to about it also get annoyed when Khinashi starts rambling too much. This one thinks we will save the rest for later though, we are almost at camp, and J'shabi has probably had quite enough of the rambling already. Right, J'shabi?" Khinashi nudges J'shabi.

J'shabi laughs and then looks to Muffin while she shrugs her shoulders. "I mean, Khinashi's my best friend, and I love her like a sister, and I like learning our culture too, but once she starts talkng about something, she won't stop until someone else does it for her."

They all laugh together. It is great to see J'shabi starting to perk up again. Muffin seems to have brought out the better side of her, something that has been rare since we left Elsweyr. Khinashi forgives her though, she just stresses herself too much about protecting the group as much as Jahirr does, Khinashi knows she does not mean to sound bitter.

The laughter attracts the attention of Jizad and Jahirr as we approach the top of the hill. Both of them seem equally tense at the sight of Muffin with us. Ma'krin as usual does not seem to care.

"Welcome back Khinashi, J'shabi." Jizad greets us, and bows a greeting to Muffin as well. He seemed unsure about Muffin, but still respectful. "Did you learn anything that you wanted from the College?"

J'shabi was the first to answer. "Not quite yet. Most of the people there are gone on a trip, but we'll be able to ask the headmaster some questions soon when he returns. This is Mulfendun, by the way, Khinashi 'insisted' that we introduce her to all of you."

"Hi! You can call me Muffin if it's easier. Wow! So you must be a...Dagi, right? And you are...Senche, maybe?" Muffin looks to Jizad and Jahirr respectively.

"Not quite. Jahirr is Pahmar-raht, not Senche, but Ma'krin over there is a Senche. He may be smaller than Jahirr now, but when he hits his growth spurt, he will be a size to be reckoned with!" This one says.

"It is nice to meet you, Mulfendun." Jizad says, and bows again. "This one is known as Jizad."

"Wow, 10 seconds and you already got his real name, Muffin. He must really like you" J'shabi teases. Jizad looks at J'shabi at first with annoyance, but immediately changes to one of humor.

Khinashi can tell that Muffin looks overwhelmed at excitement at the sight of them, as if she were being let in on a big secret that most are not allowed in on. In a way it is true, after all, most outsiders of Elsweyr never see a quadruped Khajiit in their whole lifetime.

As J'shabi further introduces Muffin to Jahirr, who still seems a little reserved about us bringing her here, and Ma'krin, Jizad signals for Khinashi to talk privately, and we walk a little bit aways.

"This is a big risk you are taking, Khinashi." Jizad says, as he knows this one is aware of what he means.

"Khinashi knows...but she seemed so friendly and excited, she saw a bit of this one in her, and she could not deny her the curiosity."

"Our people are more important than just to sate other's curiosities Khinashi. She may be nice, but what of the others? Can you really trust her not to tell them about us?"

"This one trusts that she would not do anything that she knows could bring harm to us." Khinashi says flatly.

Jizad stares at this one for a few moments, before deciding to accept that what is done is done, and changes the subject.

"Smallpaws and Ma'ketra have run off. This one knows not where, but if he were to guess, it is probably to the college."

"What?" This one is surprised. "Why did you let them get that close by themselves?"

"We are not their masters, Khinashi. Just as you chose to bring an outsider here, they made their own decision to do that, despite the consequences."

Khinashi is a bit offended by that. Of course they can do what they want, but still...

"But there's atronachs patrolling inside there now – we need to go find them before they get themselves in trouble, or worse!"

"What?" Muffin speaks up, overhearing our conversation now. J'shabi holds her hand to her face, unsurprised by Smallpaws and Ma'ketra's recent actions.

"Two of our company, an Alfiq named Smallpaws and Ma'krin's sister, a Senche named Ma'ketra might have snuck into the college while we were gone...They mean no harm, this one is sure, but you said your Dunmer friend was just reactivating the defences, yes?"

"Oh no, they could get killed by them! C'mon, we have to get to them quickly! I'll find Divyral and do what I can to help them!" Muffin shouts in fear of her new friends lives.

And with that, everyone starts running down the hill toward the college, even Ma'krin has renewed energy when it comes to his sister being in danger.

* * *

"Thank goodness you are okay Snorepaws! This one thought it was too late, she was ready to jump back up there to save you, but she could not climb the ladder, and, but she wanted-"

"It's okay Ma'ketra, I'm alright." I sign to her, lost in thought about what happened.

"Snorepaws?"

"That was strange. The atronachs wouldn't attack me, like they recognized me or something."

"Maybe not even Daedra minions know the difference between an Alfiq and a housecat."

I look around where we are, and immediately a sense of awe sinks in. This cavern isn't very big, and like the rest of the college, it glows blue, but a loud emanating, constant sound that's hard to describe deafens the room. In the center is the cause of it. A large, blue and purple glowing portal coming out of the ceiling in between two obsidian looking arches. Honestly, it looked almost like what Oblivion gates were described as, except a different color, and upside down. That can't be right, those can't exist anymore now after what happened at the end of the Oblivion Crisis, right? And what was it doing here?

"By the divines...That is beautiful." Smallpaws signed as he approached it with wide, curious eyes.

Ma'ketra jumps in front of him, blocking the sight to the portal.

"No." Is all she signs.

"What?" I sign back.

"This one knows what you are thinking, and the answer is no. We are not entering that portal. It looks dangerous and deadly and-"

Ma'ketra is cut off by the sound of banging on the trap door above us, followed by muffled shouting belonging to voices I don't recognize.

"We don't have a choice Ma'ketra. They'll be in here any second!" I say while walking towards it.

"Smallpaws..." I see her sign, ignoring her nickname for me for once.

I start running.

I hear a loud growl as she tries to chase and stop me, but I swerve to the side to dodge her paws and jump through the portal, with her just behind me.

We both fling outside of the portal into this new, creepy place, crashing onto the floor, not knowing where our feet would land. I look up immediately and take in my surroundings. The whole place seems to be filled with clouds, but lightning strikes constantly throughout the sky, leaving thundering sounds throughout. I can see a large tower off in the distance, with a long blue light coming down from above it, that seems to enter it.

I can hear the faint sound of someone screaming fading in and out, coming from the tower, echoing through the constant thunder cracking in the sky. I can tell they're human screams, possibly a young man.

The path to the tower is filled with winding, narrow paths of rock that seem to make no sense, and go up and down, twist and turn with no purpose.

I see an Altmer man wearing embroidered fancy robes, walking down the path toward us, he has white long hair and yellow eyes, and looks curious.

"Well now, you're in a place you don't belong." he says.

* * *

All of us burst open the door to the college, and see Divyral and Merellis the Conjuration teacher this one thinks his name was, talking. They both instantly turn to face us with apprehension.

"Ah! There's more of them!" Merellis shouts, and cowers behind Divyral.

"What is the meaning of this Mulfendun?" Divyral shouts.

"It's okay! They mean you no harm! Some of their friends might be in here, and in danger!" Muffin says.

"I've already deactivated the atronachs again, but it looks like your 'friends' may be here for reasons different from what they claim. They were clearly sneaking about looking for something, probably something to steal. The others were probably just their distraction so they could get it!"

"This one is sure they had no ill-intent." This one says. "Smallpaws and Ma'ketra may be mischievious, but they would not do that!" Khinashi said that with much conviction in defence for her friends, but upon afterthought, she is not completely sure that they wouldn't. Smallpaws has been acting quite strange lately ever since she mentioned the College of Whispers...

"Regardless, they've locked themselves up in a dangerous and extremely forbidden place below the College lobby, I suggest you help try to convince them to let us get them out and take your leave from here before the headmaster-"

A new voice from behind them cuts off Divyral's sentance.

"It's okay. Everything's alright. I'm sure our guests did not mean to cause so much commotion." the voice says with a calm and reassuring tone, with a little chuckle at the end.

Divyral and Merellis turn and step aside to show an Altmer mage in very fancy blue robes approaching them, and behind him follow Smallpaws and Ma'ketra, looking very guilty.

"Smallpaws, Ma'ketra! You're okay!" J'shabi shouts.

"Headmaster Ceryeas! You've returned!" Divyral exlaims, and quickly bows, respectfully.

Khinashi also bows out of respect. Smallpaws and Ma'ketra walk to our side.

"I apologize for not being here earlier to greet you all. Welcome to the College of Whispers! Home to magic and mysteries the likes of which you've never seen before."

There's a bit of silence after that.

"Sorry, it's a motto I like to say. Come in, come in. I'll give you a tour while you explain what brought you to visit us today."

Everyone seems a bit confused as to how easily the headmaster is taking our arrival, all things considered, but Khinashi is thankful to be welcomed somewhere for once.

Outside this one can hear thunder start to crack as rain begins to fall. It is better to be inside than out in the rain anyway, no?

"This one apologizes on behalf of her non-speaking friends for the earlier eventfulness, headmaster Ceryeas." Khinashi says.

"Oh, I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it. It's not easy for an Alfiq and a Senche to ask their own questions, so they probably just meant to find the answers on their own, I can't blame them for that. Knowledge is power, after all."

"You sure are taking this pretty well, we thank you for the hospitality Ceryeas. Not many would allow Senche and Pahmar-raht to walk freely around here." J'shabi says.

"Of course, I understand. That's partly why I'm so curious as to your arrival here. I can't recall a time when I've seen so many varied forms of Khajiit outside of Elsweyr travelling together, and we Altmer live a pretty long time. If I were to guess, it's something to do with the recent happenings with the moons, correct?"

"Yeah, they want to know why the moons disappeared, and if there's any magic that could bring them back. We were hoping maybe you could tell us what you found out from the experiments we did on it earlier." Muffin answers.

"Oh, nothing substantial I'm afraid, the leads led to nowhere, but perhaps I could do more than that, if you're interested. A little experiment of our own."

"Of course, anything that could help us understand. The Moons are sacred to us Khajiit, as you know."

"Yes, there is a peculiar connection between your people and the moons that's always fascinated me...but we can talk more of that later. It's getting late, and as it's starting to rain and thunder, perhaps you wouldn't mind staying for dinner, and perhaps spending the night here? With most of our members gone, we have plenty of room and board."

Ma'krin makes the sound of licking his lips, and his tummy starts to growl.

"Ah yes, don't worry, we have enough food to spare for even a couple of Senche and a Pahmar to stay with us."

"Jizad does not-"

"That would be great, and very kind of you to let us stay the night here headmaster Ceryeas! We thank you very much." Khinashi blurts out before Jizad could finish.

Ceryeas turns around and looks at all of us, and he looks more intently at Jahirr now that he has the chance.

"Hmm, interesting, you look familiar, actually." He says to Jahirr.

Jahirr growls and looks a bit angry at him.

"This one remembers her father talking of having visited this place once in his journeys, Jahirr would have been with him." Khinashi says.

"Ah, your father...?"

"A great mage known as Jo'azha, the Moon Hallowed of Elsweyr." Khinashi says, although regrets it immediately after...Ceryeas may have heard of what happened down there.

"Ah...Yes, I...do remember him. Hmm." Ceryeas frowns, and his thoughts are unreadable. Thankfully it seems he has not heard yet at least.

J'shabi looks to Khinashi sternly, and nudges her and shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Well anyway, I'll have Wilxton prepare dinner for us all."

Ceryeas claps twice, and just at the same moment, thunder rolled heavily across the night sky as rain still pours relentlessly outside.

* * *

Khinashi takes a moment to appreciate the sight of all her friends around her sitting at the dining table, eating delicious food and being happy together. J'shabi, Jizad, Smallpaws, Ma'ketra, Ma'krin, Jahirr...Her real family may not be here with her, but she feels as close to them all as family, besides Jahirr of course, who is her blood uncle. A moment like this at the dining table has not happened since over a month ago now before the moons disappeared and they were all flung into this adventure without warning.

This one considers using the Khajiiti custom of attempting to steal each other's food for more, but decides that perhaps her new college friends would not understand nor appreciate that. Besides, the food could use some more moon sugar anyway. Regular sugar, no matter much she puts on it, does not taste as sweet. Then why is this one still pouring it on her food, she wonders?

"Do you want some steak with that sugar Khinashi?" Muffin jokes.

"Yeah, the rest of us want some sugar too, you are not the only Khajiit here." Jizad says.

Ma'krin comes out from under the table next to her and looks up at her with big sad Senche eyes that Khinashi could never say no to, and tips her dish so that some of the sugar mound falls off as he opens his mouth to eat it.

"Thanks again for the food Ceryeas, it's very good, a nice change from what I'm used to." J'shabi says.

"Of course, Wilxton is very good at what he does, he was trained in the way of Breton cuisine for many years, and it's our pleasure to have him serve us here at the college."

"Surely he is not the only one who cooks for the many members of the college here." Khinashi asks.

"You would be surprised what feats can be accomplished here at the college with the magic available to us here."

"What do you mean? How is it different from anywhere else?" Khinashi asks curiously.

"Here at the college we have something that's called the Connected Magic Sustaining Application - or CMSA for short - it's basically an ongoing spell weaved througout the college that allows for feats of a magical nature that would be impossible otherwise – such as the atronach guardians patrolling the college. Mages here are taught how to tap into this ongoing spell and use it's magicka in place of their own for help in completing mundane tasks. Food preparation, cleaning, even a working ventellation system to keep the college warm or cool depending on the temperature. Some can even use it to have instruments play music by themselves, among many other sorts of tasks."

"Wow, that sounds amazing! How is that even possible? It sounds like no magic Khinashi has ever heard of."

"It was only discovered 2 years ago by Ceryeas himself. Honestly, I kind of preferred it before then personally, the new apprentices make too much commotion with it once they get the priveldiges for it. Makes it hard to concentrate." Divyral answers.

"What? How could you not like having the ability to have your research notes written for you, while having your room cleaned and some music playing at the same time?" Muffin asks, incredulously.

"Makes people lazy." Divyral rebukes.

Khinashi is continuously amazed at hearing this. She never heard anything about this before, it makes her wish she could return here some day to study magic herself sometime.

"So, you mentioned you had an experiment in mind to help figure out what happened to the moons? J'shabi asks, interrupting.

"Ah yes, of course. Yes...Actually it's something that I tried some 20 years or so ago on a smaller scale, when a rather large Khajiit came to me once, asking if I could help him learn more about the connection between your kind and the moons. He seemed to be of the mind that if the connection was discovered, it could be controlled." Ceryeas responds.

This piece of information sparks interest in Khinashi, and apparently others. She wonders who that Khajiit was...

"Controlled? Did he say what he had planned for it?" Khinashi asks.

"He wanted to find if there was a way to 'choose' what form a Khajiit would take at birth regardless of the moon phases, it was a particularly interesting idea, and he seemed very intent on figuring it out. I said, 'well, why not stop there, what if you could make a Khajiit change their form at will, at any time?' imagine the power one could have with that ability."

Jizad coughs. This one thinks maybe he also figured out that the Khajiit who came to him was probably Ra-zara'chi. So it seems making the moons disappear was not his only plan.

"Uh, what ever came about those experiments, headmaster?" Jizad asks.

"Not much I'm afraid, back then we did not have the magic to sustain such an experiment for long, but now that we have the new magic available to us through CMSA, I think it could be done safely now, and more successful as ever, since there are so many different forms of you here now. Back then there was only Suthays and Cathays willing to undergo the process, which made it difficult to discern anything useful."

"So...what would we have to do for this experiment?" J'shabi asks, hesitantly.

"Well, you would essentially just be asleep for awhile, maybe some several hours at most at a time, while we would study the connection between the moons and your souls, and how it differs from form to form, and see how that connection might be used, if at all possible. If it is, then, theoretically speaking, there could be a chance that that connection could be used in mass to...'pull' the moons back to the Mundus, from where ever they are."

"Wow...that actually makes some kind of sense." Muffin says.

"It sounds like it could be dangerous." Jizad says.

"With magic there's always the chance of danger." Divyral says flatly.

"Yes, as Divyral put it. Any magic has the chance to go right or wrong, or with completely different outcomes than expected, but now with CMSA, those chances are vastly reduced, since the spell can be sustained without any of us actually having to concentrate on it ourselves." Ceryeas clarifies.

"I don't know...I still don't know if I trust it with my soul..." J'shabi says.

"But if it works...then we could bring the moons back, J'shabi! Think of the possibilities!" This one says.

"And if it does not, what? We die? Our souls are destroyed?" Jizad says.

Jahirr nods in agreement with Jizad. Smallpaws and Ma'ketra both look suspciously at Ceryeas.

"Of course, you would never be subjected to the experiment if you do not want to. You can think it over tonight and decide in the morning if it's something you're okay with, but I assure you, safety would be our utmost concern." Ceryeas says.

"Right. I think I'm done eating for now." J'shabi says. Jizad and others nod in agreement.

"Of course, let me allow one of our servants to show you where you'll be sleeping."

Ceryeas focuses on a spell and summons a blue and red skinned being with horns, wearing a suit that does not at all befit his devilish nature. It does not look at all pleased to being used in this manner. J'shabi and some others gasp.

"Hi Fred!" Muffin says.

"His name is not 'Fred', it's a Dremora, Mulfendun. It's a powerful being from Oblivion that could rip you apart as soon as look at you."

"I know what a Dremora is, Div. I call him Fred."

"Fred, please show our guests to the dorm rooms they'll be staying in." Ceryeas says.

"See? Even the headmaster likes the name I gave it!" Muffin exclaims, to which Divyral only plants his hand on his face.

The Dremora growls and bares his teeth, but then starts walking down the hallways.

"Don't worry, he's harmless, he just likes to growl sometimes. He's great at sorting books in alphabetical order." Muffin says, as the rest of us all get up from our seats and begin to follow it.

"By the way, Khinashi. I presume by your clothes that you are also versed in the manner of the arts of magic. Feel free to make use of our libraries while you're here if you wish to learn more of the arts. It's a privelidge only members are allowed, but with your willingness to help with the experiment, it is only right you get to use the faculties available to all of us." Ceryeas says as we walk away.

"Wow, really? Thanks!" Khinashi says with glistful excitement.

This whole trip to the college has been better than Khinashi could have ever hoped. She thought they would simply get turned away, but they are allowed inside, to sleep and eat here, be part of an experiment that could help bring the moons back – and Khinashi even gets to learn more about magic! This one hopes we get to stay here for many days, a nice relaxing break from the difficult adventure!

"Khinashi, I think we should leave in the morning." J'shabi whispers to Khinashi.

"What? Why would you want to do that? We have gotten everything we could have hoped from our visit here. And why are we whispering?" Khinashi whispers.

"I don't know...something just doesn't...feel right here. I can't quite place my finger on it, but I don't trust that Ceryeas."

"You're just saying that because you don't trust magic or those who use it, J'shabi." Khinashi's voice starts raising as we reach the hallways.

"No, it's not that this time...Ceryeas just seems...'too nice'? Considering what happened, don't you think he should be a little more...I don't know-"

"That is right, you do not know. Something good happens to us for once and you want to throw in doubts to make us give this up?"

"Khinashi. I know why you really like it here, I understand. You're not used to being around other people who like magic, but don't let that cloud your judgement. Think about it..."

"This one has thought about it quite enough, and she is quite content to stay here and learn about magic, J'shabi."

"J'shabi is right, Khinashi." Jizad says. "Something does feel off. We should be wary while we stay here tonight. Do not let the kindness we have been shown cloud your senses."

Khinashi feels betrayed by both of them saying these things to her. Khinashi was so happy that finally maybe they would be able to see that not all mages are bad, not all magic is bad, and that good things can come of it. Maybe Khinashi expected too much of them. Maybe she should just let them leave and stay here herself!

"Fine, go then! Leave if you do not feel safe. Khinashi will stay here and learn how to bring the moons back herself!"

Thunder cracks loudly again, and in unison this one storms off to head to the direction the library is in that she saw earlier.

"Khinashi...we're not leaving here without you. We'll stay here tonight, but-" J'shabi's sentance is cut off.

"This one will be in the library." she says, as she turns the corner, no longer wanting to talk to them.


	6. Whisker to Whisper (Part 3)

The flash of the lightning lights up the window I stare out of, and the loud thunder shakes the college like an earthquake. The heavy rain still pours down, and now with the black of night, it leaves an eerie feeling in the wake, especially with how suspicious everything has seemed since we arrived here.

Strange portals to other dimensions, with strange towers and the perpetual sound of someone screaming in agony. The headmaster's unexpected hospitality in regards to everything...Khinashi doesn't seem to think much of it, but the others do. I'm not so sure about that experiment of his he's planning either. I want the moons back just as much as any Khajiit, but I'd rather put the fate of that, and our lives, in the hands of someone who doesn't have spooky underground portals to other dimensions...but I suppose at the same time, beggars can't be choosers, huh?

Regardless, I remind myself that bringing the moons back isn't the only reason I'm here, perhaps not even the main one. I made a promise to myself, and to Jasper, that I would do anything I could to find out what happened to him, whether that be he tripped on the way to the outhouse and broke his neck, or got himself involved in some daedric blood pact, I'll find out whatever this 'accident' was that ended him.

And maybe it'll help me remember more of him too.

Everyone's probably asleep by now, except for Khinashi perhaps. Even Ma'ketra dozed off pretty soon after we were given our room to stay in for the night. I don't know how she manages to sleep, after what we saw today. It's just as well, as this is probably a one-cat job, preferably assigned to the one who's small and inconspicuous, can turn invisible at will, and has every reason to want to succeed. Sounds like me!

So what's the game plan then? Well, before we ran into those Atronachs, we were looking for the registry or any place that would contain the files of anyone who lived here once. There's gotta be a place like that here. I don't know where, but if I were in charge, I'd probably keep it close to me, as that's likely something that would concern me. Boring information and numbers usually concern leaders. Maybe not, but it would be the first place to check. No surprise that the guy in charge probably lives up in the tower above the college, Ceryeas definitely doesn't seem like the humble type. Probably making up for a lack of something, but who am I to judge?

Lightning strikes again, and thunder rumbles as I leap down from the window sill and take one last look at Ma'ketra sleeping soundly through the storm.

I use alteration to turn the doorknob and open the door ever so slowly, so as to make as little noise as possible, and sneak through the crack and pull it shut. Hopefully, she won't wake up and wonder where I am and then look for me. Perhaps I should have left a note, but – gah, no, I don't need to write anything.

I walk through the dark halls of the College, still lit up from the blue flame torches dotted around, and the little specs of dust flow through the college. Knowing all of that is really a source of magicka makes me very curious. What did Ceryeas do or find that caused such a powerful source of sustainable magic that other people can tap into throughout the college? I'd sure like to know how to do that.

As I keep walking, I start to hear something else besides the thunder and rain. It's very faint, but when I listen closely, I can hear...voices? Less than voices. Whispers perhaps, disembodied, echoing whispers speaking a language I can't understand. Gods. What kind of place is this!?

I know this place is called the College of Whispers but...actually that's probably exactly why it's called that. Huh.

Still, my fur stands on edge and I start running to try and get away from them, but they won't stop following me, with their terrible, almost melodic tune. As I approach the lobby I see one of the Storm Atronach guardians turn toward my direction, and I freeze in place. I didn't know what was supposed to happen if it would try to kill me because I'm out later than I should be, but it just stood there again looking at me with it's non-eyes. Why do they keep doing that, and why only to me?

Well, better to accept it than question it and be killed by it, I suppose.

I ignore it and walk past it, and it turns as I do, but just stands – or rather floats – there for a little while longer before going on its way. I reach the ground floor of the college, and start walking up the many stairs around the walls. Or rather, hop up, in an increasingly tiring way. How dare they not accommodate these stairs for Alfiqs.

By the time I'm halfway up, I already feel like falling over and rolling back down them, when I notice that they don't even reach all the way to the top! There's a large section of stairs just missing before it reaches the top ledge where the door to the tower is. What, is it under construction, or something? How does Ceryeas get up there? Hmm, maybe levitation, I wouldn't put it past him, he seems like the haughty type to do that.

Just as I was about to consider waking up Jizad and getting him to give me wall climbing lessons, I hear a noise of the door from the tower opening, and a large shadow of the headmaster being cast on the wall from the light of the blue flames. I see his shadow raising his hand and casting some sort of spell, and suddenly the wall from where the stairs end branch out and create steps, allowing for him to walk down.

So that's how they do it. Of course that's how they do it. Still pretty haughty.

I quickly cast invisibility and hop up the rest of the stairs as quickly as I can, with as little to no panting as I can too, to avoid being detected, but I didn't make it in time. Just as Ceryeas reaches the 'real' stairs he casts the spell again, and they disappear in the same way they were created.

I stand still on the step that I was at and hope to Akatosh he doesn't step on me. Thankfully, the lack of bone crushing sounds tells me that he didn't. I see him walking down one of the upstairs hallways, toward the library. A part of me wants to follow him to see what he's up to at this time of night, but the rational half knows that it's probably better that I go inside the tower when he's not there.

Except...how am I supposed to do that now with the stairs gone?

I wiggle waggle my paws and try to do some magic, but as expected, nothing happens. I try putting my paw out in the air above it, just in case it magically detects it or something, and that doesn't work. I don't feel foolish enough to try a leap of faith to my death if it doesn't work, and I don't know anything about tapping into the magic of the college like he does. I doubt I would have the "privileges" to do so even if I did.

I sigh, and turn around and think of another place the registry could be. Except, right as I do, I hear the sound of the stairs pulling out, and to my surprise they did. Well, that was strange...Is it activated by giving up? I remind myself not to count my blessings and hop along the rest of the way to the tower door.

Then the realization that the door to the headmaster's office would probably be locked sets in, and that I hadn't considered that. I try nudging it with my head, but even if he was dumb enough to leave it unlocked, it must not be a push door. Alteration magic on the knob confirms it is indeed locked, and unfortunately, I'm out of options again.

And once again, the door suddenly unlocks by itself and pushes itself open.

Really starting to think the magic of this place is powered by giving up.

I walk through the door to the headmaster's tower and am overwhelmed by what I see.

For one, it's more spiral staircases going all the way up to the top. No surprise there. At the top of the tower it seems to lead off into a room of a sort, where I would guess a study, or a bedroom would be. A glass dome lays over the top, where one can watch the stars, and where you used to be able to see the moons.

Along the way up though, besides the stairs, is just one gigantic bookcase all around the tower. A moving bookcase at that. Shelves move in different directions, and it almost looks hypnotic. No one could look through this bookcase and find what they're looking for through conventional means, so I'm guessing this is another magic controlled feature. So what, do I 'give up' looking for the book I want, and then I get it? Sadly, I don't think that's how it's going to work this time...but why did it before, then?

I sigh as I look up the spiral staircase. Before I even get the chance to look for the book, I'll have to start hopping up every single one of these stairs. Every. Single. One.

I start losing my breath and need to take a break after the first several, when unexpectedly, a book pops out from one of the bookshelves and hovers over to me, laying flat, as if beckoning me to stand on it. Okay...This is weird.

I look at it for a few seconds, unsure if I should trust it or not. Then I look back up the staircase, and immediately know what my choice is.

I step on the floating, strange book, which seems to be a copy of the Lusty Argonian Maid now that I look at it. Of course, gotta have that in the headmaster's personal book collection. The book slowly starts floating upwards, and I start feeling light-headed. I look down and start to panic. I'm not used to this kind of travel! I lock my claws into the book, and hang on to it for sweet dear life, as it continues going upwards and upwards.

About halfway up the tower, the book stops, and I dig my claws even deeper into the book. It pulls me toward the bookcase, and then another book pulls itself out and floats in front of me, still floating. I have no idea what is going on.

The book opens itself and flutters through the pages, and I realize...it was the book I was looking for! The registry! If I wasn't spooked already, I'm pretty spooked now. I can't tell if this is just really sophisticated magic that knows what I want just by reading my thoughts, or if I discovered the means of controlling the magic myself, but seeing as I'm standing on top of a floating book high up enough that if it fell, I would fall to my death, I keep on believing either way.

This is just how things work now Smallpaws, this college is spooky, deal with it.

The pages stop turning when they finally reach a page concerning room numbers and residents living in them. Unsure of why it's showing me this, I read closer, until I find one passage that catches my eye.

-  
4E 96, 8th of Rain's Hand

Jasper Frey, staying in room 76, has decided to leave the college and move back home with his family. Will begin preparations for room cleaning after the resident has moved personal belongings out.

Status Update: For some reason, I can't get into his room. There's some sort of magical barrier keeping me from entering. Even the headmaster has tried and couldn't get through it. Ceryeas has said the room is off limits until further notice, I guess that means he doesn't need me to clean it. Fine with me.  
-

Jasper! The magic of this place knows that I'm looking for Jasper! Or is it me controlling the magic...? Gah, I still don't know.

So he stayed in room 76...but he was planning on leaving the college? It doesn't say anything about an accident, or even him dying, and if his room is sealed and warded off, then what use is this information to me? But if it has been since his death...then maybe some of his stuff would still be in there, and that could give me a clue?

But that still doesn't tell me how to get past the wards, or even why it was warded in the first place...unless that's related to the accident?

Nothing else is happening, and I need more information, but the magic isn't telling me anything. I know there's more...

Tell me what happened to Jasper Frey. I think to myself out loud, as if commanding the magic. Nothing happens.

I sign out the words, but to no avail, nothing happens. I guess it was worth a shot in case it understood Khajiit sign language?

Well, I could always try speaking again...

I buckle down on the book and try to use my magic to release the spoken words, but it still comes out in a squeak, howl and growl - except at the end, one word pops out in the conjunction of these sounds to form the word "What-"

Despite the failure, I smile wide-eyed at the event. That was the closest I'd ever gotten to speaking! I don't know how I did it, but I did. It just did. I guess that's how most magic is though, it just works.

The book, the magic or whatever seems to have heard my attempt at making communication, and floated me up more, all the way up to the top where the study is, and then on top of the desk. I feel a bit sick from that, it moved pretty quickly, and suddenly, and I wasn't ready...

A piece of parchment pulls itself out and lays itself down on top of the desk. I move my paws out from underneath it. A quill levitates and dips itself into an inkwell, and then it starts to stroke itself on the parchment, writing out words to me. At this point, I don't even question it anymore. It just works.

I wait to see it answer my question about Jasper, but to my dismay, all it says on it is:

"Go to Room 76"

Frustrated, I decide to temporarily do away with my vow against writing this one time only, and dip my claw into the inkwell, and start to write my own message.

"What happened to Jasper Frey? Tell me now."

My demands were met with no immediate response, only the sound of the door down below opening up. I gasp. It must be the headmaster returning. I look for somewhere to hide, but the magical book slides me off of the desk, catches me, and quickly starts hovering down the tower, so fast that I need to hold on tightly to not fall off.

The book swings me into a bookcase halfway down the tower and hides me behind it. Utterly confused, I look out from behind the books to see the shadow of Ceryeas, slowly walking up the staircase. He looks around as if looking for something, something out of place. Did he know I was in here?

Oh yeah, I did try talking, which made a loud howl...he would have heard that. Whoops.

"What are you playing at?" He shouts. He's already passed up where I am in the bookcase, so at the very least, he doesn't see me. He walks up to the study in the tower.

"Don't think I don't know what you're up to. I know you let someone in here, I heard the noises. It was one of those cats. The Alfiq, wasn't it? He's been a bit too nosy for his own good. Maybe he'll have to learn the hard way what happens to meddlers here."

Suddenly, a book shoots itself out of the bookshelves and heads toward the headmaster, but he lifts his hand and stops it before it hits him.

"I don't know what's caused you to start acting up again lately, but you'll learn to remember that I'm in control of this college. Not you, nor anyone else. Or do you not remember what happened the last time?"

The headmaster lifts up both of his hands and then throws them low, and suddenly all of the books from the bookshelves pull themselves out and get thrown to the ground at the bottom of the tower, knocking me out of the bookcase and falling toward the ground.

Before I hit the bottom, I manage to grab my paws onto the ledge of one of the bookcases, and hang on for a few seconds, before letting myself fall the rest of the non-fatal way.

It still hurts, though.

What all just happened there? It almost didn't sound like he was talking to me, it sounded like...he was talking to the magic? The magic doesn't seem to like him, and it's helping me...Why?

Well, whatever the case, I don't have time to sit around and think about it. I hope to the divines that Ceryeas didn't see me fall out of the bookcase, but I turn invisible regardless and climb down the books toward the door.

And it opens for me by itself to let me out.

I guess Room 76 it is, then.

* * *

Khinashi closes the book and some dust blows in her face and then sets it on top of the pile of books on the table that she's finished reading, which is a pile big enough that soon she will have to start another, or else stand on the chair to reach the top.

It is such a great feeling being able to read so many different, varied topics about magic and history. When Father brought back books, it was always in batches, sometimes a dozen at most, but here...she feels like she could spend years reading everything here, but since she doesn't have years, this one is just going around scanning through the ones that look most interesting.

'101 Uses for Alteration Spells' this one reads the title of the next book she picks up. Hmm. Sounds like it could be a good read.

After scanning through some of the more ridiculous passages, one sticks out to her in particular.

'24. Spells to make your skin as hard as oak, stone or more can also be used in reverse on surfaces and objects, to make it take on stronger or weaker properties. Having trouble getting through a metal door? Why not make it oak and watch it burn with flames?'

Hmm, very interesting indeed. Khinashi will have to keep that one in mind.

The door to the library pushes open and creaks loudly, and the headmaster walks in. He looks surprised to see this one here.

"Ah, Khinashi. I didn't expect you to still be in here. Doing some late night reading I suppose?" he says as he walks across the room and begins looking for a book of his own.

"Absolutely. This one has never had an opportunity to study magic on this scale! She is trying to make the most of it as much as time allows."

He chuckles. "It's good to see the younger generations so eager to learn. You remind me a bit of myself back then." He sighs and seems almost a little sad, thinking of the past.

There was some silence as he continued looking through the bookshelves.

"Don't worry what anyone else thinks. Follow your passion, let it lead you to success." He says.

Khinashi was a bit caught off guard by the statement.

"Sorry. I just couldn't help but overhear some of the things your friends were telling you, it reminded me of some things I used to have to go through when people doubted me, or my ideas. Friends, family...colleagues."

"Oh?" Khinashi says, still a bit confused as to why he brought it up. Something must be bothering him

He looks at me as if he were about to say something but decided against it. He pulls out a book from the shelves and starts reading it.

* * *

I dash through the halls as fast as I can, paying no heed to atronachs, thunder or whispers, and follow the numbers down the hallways to try and find room 76.

56, 57, 58...

61, 62, 63...

Suddenly I bump into a solid object, and then I realize that object is a person. I gasp, my spine goes stiff, as I fear it's Ceryeas. He knows I was in his room, he knows the magic is helping me...

Sheets and sheets of parchment fall on top of me, blinding me.

"Hey! Watch it! What are you doing up at this time, Alfiq?"

But I recognize that voice, and it's not Ceryeas. I shake off the papers, which looks like someone's research notes, and I look up and see that rude Dunmer kid, I think his name was Divyral.

I ignore his question, not that I could answer it in any way he would understand anyway, and runoff. He calls out after me again, but doesn't follow me. I look back and see him in front of a door which opens to show that other mage kid, Muffin. Must be pretty urgent business to be out this late at night, but it doesn't concern me.

Deeper down the hallway, I finally reach the 70's, and then beyond that, my destination. Room 76.

It looks like an ordinary door, except with some sort of magical web-like ward across it, gleaming in different colors.

I try to walk up toward it and put my paw on it, and as expected, it doesn't let me through. I know there's no magic that I know that would ever get me through this, but I would imagine my mysterious magical friend wouldn't lead me here if it didn't have a way to get me through.

And right on cue, the colors within the ward start swirling and dissipating, until all of it disappears. Locks unhinge themselves, and the door swings wide open. I wish I had this magical friend with me all the time, just think of all the places I could break into!

I walk inside and take a look around the room.

I don't know what to think about what I see. It seems like a normal room, a messy room, with things partially packed away, others lying out ready to be packed, and some stuff still set about on display.

I remember what the registry said...Jasper was planning to move away, and then I guess after the accident, no one was able to enter his room. Why?

But that means that everything laying about, here, was Jaspers...

A warm feeling of nostalgia overtakes me, and being in the presence of this stuff helps me remember more about him, and our time when we lived in High Rock. Some of these simple mementos I remember being in his old room on display.

I remember knocking them over and then getting scolded by his mother...she wouldn't give me food when I did bad stuff, she still thought I was just a housecat, but Jasper knew. He always looked out for me. Whenever they did that, he'd always give me some of his food. I'd grown accustomed to the taste of that stuff his parents gave me so I always thought his food was disgusting, but I always appreciated that he did that.

And there's a picture in a frame on his desk, a picture of me and Jasper, drawn by some fancy Breton artist...or probably a distant family member pretending to be an artist, but I thought it was pretty good. His family never understood our bond together, thought Jasper was crazy that he liked spending more time with me than his friends. It was difficult...living somewhere where only one person knew you for what you really were, and everyone else thought you were something different.

I sigh.

...But then again, how much different is it now with these guys, anyway? I think to myself. Even now, only Ma'ketra really knows who I am. Ma'krin ignores me and Jahirr just thinks I'm a risk and liability to have along. And with the walkers...well, besides the point that I can't even have a conversation with them other than saying yes and no, I don't feel like they understand me either. I know Khinashi tries so hard to, but that's just it: She tries so hard to be inclusive with us quadrupeds that it doesn't feel real, more just like she's trying to live up to an image of a perfect Elsweyr where everyone is equal. J'shabi tries so hard to not offend us accidentally, that it actually becomes offensive sometimes. Jizad is the only one of them that seems to understand something about us. He ignores us as much as he ignores others, and when he does talk, he says it plainly, and honestly, even if it's harsh.

I don't know why I'm having these thoughts right now. I know in the end it's a lot better than the rest of the people in my life besides Jasper. I just don't know. I shake my head of them and started opening some boxes, to find anything else interesting. Most just had a bunch of clothes in it packed away. Never understood the walker's love for having so many different clothes. I do just fine with just a couple different shawls and hoods to choose from. Humans and elves at least have the excuse that they don't have fur, so I can understand they get cold, but Khajiit? Seems a bit useless.

Other boxes held yet more trinkets of his that I don't remember - that is until I pull out a thin red strip of cloth with a buckle and a silver thin plating attached to it. My old collar! It has the name Jasper gave to me when his family adopted me as a stray kitten. Smallpaws Sharpclaws.

Ah...I remember I used to hate this thing. When I found out I was an Alfiq, wearing it always made me feel like something lesser, like just a pet, an ordinary housecat, that was someone's possession...and yet, it was probably the first thing I was ever given to remind me of Jasper. I can't believe he still kept it after so long. For old time's sake, I decide to push my head through it and tuck it underneath my shawl. I'll wear it as something I can keep to help me remember him.

Thinking about all of this almost makes me a bit teary eyed, I'm glad Ma'ketra isn't here to see me weeping like a kitten. I wouldn't hear the end of it.

I stand there in the room feeling a bit awkward for a few more seconds, before shaking myself free of thoughts memories, and remind myself of why I'm here. I regain my resolve, and intently start looking around the room for something that could help explain what happened to him. I remember Jasper always used to take meticulous notes in a journal of his. I doubt that would have changed when he went to college. If there were anything that seemed suspicious here that could have led up to what caused his accident, and who's responsible for it, I'm sure he would have mentioned it in his journal. He was a smart kid.

But where would it be? Back in High Rock, he always kept it somewhere that I would never find it. Or at least, where he hoped I'd never find it, he often had to improve on that.

I look beneath his bed, under the matress, and check any loose tiles of wall or flooring there might be, when suddenly I hear a rattling noise and look over to see one of his nightstand drawers shaking. I open it, but there's nothing in it. Strange. Maybe rodents have somehow managed to bypass the inpenetrable wards and are now toying with me...or it's my mysterious magic friend trying to tell me something.

I open the other nightstand shelf, again only to find it empty. I start to seriously consider the rodents and go back to searching other areas, when I hear the rattling noise again. I look over and see it shaking vigorously, until eventually it just shoots out of the nightstand completely. I duck to avoid getting hit, and it soars above me and crashes into the wall behind me, and I see a thin piece of wood fall out from it, and a thin leather bound journal along with it. Ah, a false panel...

I thank my mysterious magical friend - or the rodents - and nip the binding of the journal to set it with it's back to the ground, and open it up with my paws.

Sorry I have to invade your privacy, Jasper, but I need to find out what happened to you.

I look through for any particular entries that stick out to me.

* * *

4E 96, 22nd of First Seed

Dear diary,

Usually, I enjoy my infrequent discussions with the headmaster about the arcana, and have always appreciated that he thought I was, well, smart enough that I was worth the time to talk to about the ideas he has...although it could just be because of my special connection with magicka. Today, however, we had a strange conversation. Ceryeas was bringing up his ideas with me about ways to improve the college, make people rethink the ways of how magic works and such, but his newest ideas to achieving his goals leave me a little unsettled. He never directly said it, but it almost sounded like he was considering reopening research onto Sigil stones and the Oblivion gates to the realms of the Daedra, despite the Empire's ruling against that research. At least, he mentioned other realms a lot and was wondering if he could replicate what the Daedra lords do by drawing power from their realms. It's still all theoretical, but the way he talks about it sounds as if it's been something he's already decided on. Ceryeas is a great headmaster, and a great professor, but even I know there was a reason that those studies were banned a long time ago.

Aside from that, I helped Cyl with her presentation for her class in Restoration today. She needed to demonstrate the usefulness of Restoration magic in other ways besides just healing. She was good with the speeches, I just needed to hold up wards as she cast progressively more and more powerful spells at me. At the end of it, I decided to use both hands and created a ward around both of us in the shape of a ball. I told every mage in the classroom to try and break the ward by casting as many spells as they could at us all at once, and even still they couldn't break through, not even over a dozen 3rd year college mages. That wasn't in the script, I just suddenly said it, and the professor looked very distressed at first, fearing for our safety, but she was very impressed afterward. Cyl teased me about showing off, but I think she enjoyed it too.

* * *

"Did your friends have anything more to say about the experiment, if they have decided to go through with it or not, by the way?" Ceryeas says at last.

Khinashi sighs. "Sadly this one does not think they will want to participate in it. They have never trusted magic, and they are quite stubborn. They plan for us to leave in the morning and continue our search elsewhere, much to Khinashi's frustration."

He seems a bit disappointed.

"Ah, well that's a shame. I figured that might be the case. I'm glad you at least seem to be willing, I wish there were more people who understood that progress sometimes demands risk and sacrifice." He says, emphasizing the words progress, demand, and sacrifice.

Something about how he said that gave Khinashi a strange feeling.

* * *

4E 96, 28th of First Seed

Dear diary,

It's almost time for the spring magic festival again, the last big event of the school year before summer. Once again teams of the best student mages of the different magical institutions across the Empire are competing for the Emporer's battlemage awards. Once again I'm being pestered by almost everyone to join our college's team this year. I don't get it. For the rest of the year almost everyone acts jealous of me or tells me that I didn't earn my skill in magic, but when it's this time of the year, they always act so nice because they want me to win the award for them. I did the first year I was here, and it didn't feel right. Anyone I was up against either forfeited after they saw what I could do, or didn't last very long at all. Last year I didn't join it, and we lost to the College of Winterhold.

Everyone was bitter that we lost to the college in one of the provinces that pretty much hates magic. I remember getting a lot of unhappy looks by everyone for awhile after that. I expect the same will happen this year when they hear the disappointing news that I won't be joining the team again. Cyl got elected for our team though, and I'm really happy for her. I may not be able to give her my connection to magic, but I'll try my best to teach her what I know about being a battlemage.

Ceryeas said he wanted to see me tomorrow after class. I hope this isn't about those pranks I pulled on Divyral and Caedwyn...Sometimes I can't help myself, and need to have a little fun. Being at a college full of people with sticks up their butts all the time is as maddening as Sheogorath's jammies, okay?

* * *

Ceryeas is still reading the book he found, studying it intently, as if looking for a peculiar passage. Khinashi paid him no mind and closed the last book of her own that she was reading, stood up and walked over to one of the bookcases near him to look for another title that seemed interesting to her.

"Out of reading material already, hmm? My, you are a quick one." Ceryeas says without glancing up.

"Well, this one is not reading the whole books, just the parts that seem most interesting." This one admits.

"Prioritization of the important factors and disregarding the insignificant ones is a good mindset to have. You would do well to apply that to other facets in life." Once more he seems to not take his eyes off of what he's reading. The way he said that almost sounded as if he meant it philosophically.

This one furrows her brow and wonders why she still feels strange about the things he's saying, as if he's trying to justify something to himself through the answers he gives. Khinashi decides that she wants to know he is reading, and kneeled down as if looking for one of the books on the lower shelves. Out of the corner of her eye she took a peek at the book cover of the book he held.

'The Properties and Uses of Dream Magic'. That's a peculiar subject to be reading on. Maybe he's having trouble with nightmares?

"Curious about what I'm reading, are you?" he says, still focused. This one startles. How did he know that she checked?

Khinashi picked a random book and started walking back to the table.

"Oh, uh...well-"

"A book about dream magic as I'm sure you saw. You're wondering why I needed to read this now, tonight."

Khinashi was embarrassed and sat down at the table.

"Well, Khajiit are curious creatures, no?"

"Indeed, and you know they say curiosity is what kills the cat."

There is a long silence.

Ceryeas chuckles. "Don't worry. A little curiosity is good for the soul. It helps drive ambition...But only a little curiosity."

He slams the book shut. This one realizes he still has not answered the question, just avoided it.

* * *

4E 96, 29th of First Seed

Dear diary,

I'm starting to feel a bit suspicious about Ceryeas. After class today I met him up in his tower, and he told me more about his plans to create a new source of magic for the college that everyone can use. It sounded a bit too good to be true. He then showed me a place underground, beneath the remains of the oblivion gate in the lobby that he's been excavating out for use in his experiment. He says he thinks he can use the residual energies of the magic from it to possibly create his own dimension. I decided it was time right there to tell him how I felt about the use of the oblivion gate again even after the empire ruled against that research, but he assured me that this was different. Apparently, this wouldn't be using sigil stones, and only the residual energies of the oblivion gate, and that the dimension created wouldn't be a part of Oblivion at all, it would just follow similar concepts to those of the pocket planes they led to during the oblivion crisis. I suppose that isn't technically illegal, but it still wouldn't look good to be going around in the dark about this. I suggested he should bring this up with others first before deciding if it's a good idea, but he refused.

He asked me to try using my connection with magic to try and amplify the residual energy of the gate, but I refused, I still wasn't sure about this. I told him to let me think it over for a few days, but to be honest, I'm pretty sure the answer will still be no.

In other news, lately I've been thinking more again about deciding to leave the college. I know I've talked about this a lot to you, diary, but this time I'm pretty certain. I just don't fit in here. Everyone is always so serious and competitive about everything, and that only makes it worse for me because of my special connection to magic. People claim I didn't earn any of my power, that I don't deserve it, and to be frank, I'm not even sure I want it. I never asked to be given this gift, to be the Chosen of Magnus as they call it. I used to think I'd love being here, learning how to use my powers and doing great things with it, but looking back...I kind of miss just using it for pranks and parlor tricks with Smallpaws. I miss him. I hope I get to see him again if I move back there, but I wouldn't blame him if he decided to wander. Aside from me, there wasn't much keeping him there, since I was the only one who knew what he really was, or accepted what he was.

Life was easy back with him, without everyone looking up to you to become the next great mage of the new age - The next Shalidor or Vanus Galerion. When I look in the mirror, that's not who I see, I just see me. A mischevious kid with too much magic. I just want to be Jasper again for a while. Maybe some day I'll be ready for that kind of responsibility and power, but not right now.

* * *

Ceryeas starts heading toward the door, and Khinashi still feels unsure about something. There were clues there that Khinashi did not pick up on. Clues that Ceryeas would not tell her directly, and so she did the only thing she could to think of to clarify them. Start another conversation.

"Headmaster Ceryeas? What was that you said about progress demanding sacrifices?" Khinashi spoke uncertainly. She wasn't sure where she was going with this.

He stopped, and seemed confused for a second.

"Well, I should think it obvious. No great palace or castle ever reaches completion without someone dying as they build it. Peace within empires only comes after conquering the competition. All the great wonders of the modern day we have available to us came with a cost to achieve it. Why do you ask?"

"Khinashi was...Just curious...When does the cost become too high for one of these great wonders?"

"Well that all depends on the importance of what it could effect."

"And the experiment you have to try and solve the Void Nights?"

"I consider that to be very important. Do you not agree?"

There. That was it Khinashi, that was the clue...but the clue to what, hmm? Why does that make you feel so anxious? Piece it together, Khinashi, you can do this!

Khinashi stands there, pondering it for a moment.

"Yes, of course...Very important..."

He did not seem too upset upon finding out that her friends have decided to not go through with the experiment and leave in the morning, for something he considers to be very important and worth sacrifices for.

"Which is why it is a shame her friends have decided not to do the experiment."

Ceryeas looks upon Khinashi, as if studying her intentions behind the questions. This one wishes she had the senses of a four-legged Khajiit, she would have been able to sniff out whatever makes her feel suspicious about him within seconds.

"Yes, a shame..." Ceryeas says, and begins walking toward the door again, with increased speed. Khinashi catches another glimpse at the book, and it all becomes clear now.

"A book on dream magic. A very important experiment worth sacrifices for, and the unwillingness of the test subjects. You still plan to make them go through with it anyway." This one says firmly.

Ceryeas comes to a complete halt.

* * *

4E 96, 2nd of Rain's Hand

Dear diary,

Well, today was the day of disappointments. More put, me disappointing everyone...

I disappointed the college and all its members when I said I wasn't going to join the team for the spring festival competition. I disappointed Ceryeas when I told him firmly that I don't agree with what he's doing, and don't want to be a part of it...but most of all, I disappointed Cylesse when I told her about my plans to move back home and leave the college. She was heartbroken. We've been becoming pretty close over the past several months...Smallpaws would probably tease me about that, seeing as how awkward I was around people, especially girls, when I was growing up. I don't want to leave her behind, but I feel this is the best path for me to take. I told her I still want to keep in touch, and send letters frequently, and even visit sometimes, but it was too much for her to accept right now. She didn't have much more to say when I made it clear I wasn't going to be convinced. She left in tears and went back to her room, and I feel terrible. I should probably give her some time alone...

* * *

"Come now, Khinashi. What have I done to earn such mistrust? Have I not been hospitable enough?"

Khinashi narrows her eyes, and he slowly walks toward her.

"I forgave you and your friend's trespasses, even the ones who went into extremely prohibited areas, which I'm still at a loss as to how. I let you stay here for the night, eat our food. Read my books. I give you the chance to be a part of something great, and yet you still suspect me of some ulterior motive."

"This one has met people like you before Ceryeas. Your ambitions control you. People like you do not let things like consent stop you from doing what you want, no matter the sacrifices or consequences. It is because of people like you, that the moons have disappeared in the first place! Prioritization, and disregard for the insignificant factors! You would let them risk their lives against their will for your experiment!"

"I'm doing you a favor!" Ceryeas shouts. "You and all you Khajiit! Why is that so hard to understand? You know you wanted them to do this experiment!"

"Yes, but not against their will!"

"Sometimes people just need a little help to be convinced. If it works, then the moons return, and your people are spared of the many disasters that could cause so many countless deaths. Either way, live or die, they're heroes that will be remembered for what they did...and if not, then wasn't it worth a little risk, a little deception - isn't that a trait you Khajiit honor among each other?"

"Do not act like that is what you care about! If you did you would know there are ways to go about this that do not include risking the lives of people unwilling to participate! What is it, really, hmm? To be the saviour who brought back the moons, the fame? The power of knowing you have control over the moons?"

"Do not presume to know my motivations!" he yells. His expression looks very angry now, and this one wonders if it time for her to escape.

He walks closer toward Khinashi, and this one slowly walks back to keep her distance, while thinking of what she could do. She stands no chance against his magic, so fighting is out of the question...but perhaps...

"I thought better of you, Khinashi. You could have made a great student, or apprentice even...Maybe you still can."

* * *

4E 96, 6th of Rain's Hand

Dear diary,

It's been 4 days and I still haven't seen or heard from Cyl, and I'll be moving away in 2 days now. I know I said I wanted to give her as much time as she needed, but I want to invite her to my going-away party tomorrow, to at least spend one last day together. I didn't see her in class or in the hallways, and it's late now. I'll go check on her in her room tomorrow.

* * *

This one casts a firebolt toward him to distract him, which he easily blocks with a ward, while Khinashi jumps over the tables and toward the door to get out of the library.

But before she can reach them, the doors suddenly shut. This one tries to pull them open, but to no avail. They do not budge. Khinashi looks around for any other means of escape, but finds none. She steps away from the doors as he approaches, and backs up against the walls.

"You're smarter than that, Khinashi. What did you really think was going to happen? Did you forget? I control everything in this college. Everything. From the floors, to the walls behind you."

Before Khinashi could react, as he said that the bricks of the walls behind her stick out and spin, pushing her behind the walls and sealing her within, in a completely dark, narrow place between the walls of the buildings.

This one gasps and tries to claw at a way out, but there is nothing. Nothing but brick, nowhere to move, nothing she can see. She is simply trapped. This one starts to breathe heavily, and panic.

"Don't worry. I have no intention of letting you die in there." the muffled voice of Ceryeas says. "You're smart and talented, I'll give you that, and I still think you'll begin to understand that I'm not your enemy, but I can't have you getting in the way of things. Once this is all over after you've had enough time to think, perhaps I'll let you free. Until then, let's hope that your friends survive the experiment."

"No!" This one screams at the top of her lungs. "J'shabi! Jizad! Jahirr! Someone! Help!"

Khinashi pounds on the walls with all her might, but nothing happens. There is only silence. No one can hear her.

She screams at the top of her lungs, but still, there is only silence.

No one is coming for her.

She is trapped.

* * *

4E 96, 7th of Rain's Hand

Dear diary,

I'm starting to get really worried about Cylesse. She wasn't in her room when I checked, so I asked her friends if they've seen her, and they said the same thing: that she hasn't been seen in a few days. The last they'd heard was that Cyreas chose her to help with some research, and they just assumed she was out in the field. Sometimes students can be gone for days out doing field research...but I know Cyl, and she would have at least told me that she would be gone for awhile when she knew I was leaving the college soon, no matter how she felt at the time.

It being Cyreas that she's working on a project with just makes me even more worried. Cyl has always been the top of the class in her skill with magic, if it weren't for my gift she would have surpassed me too. If Ceryeas knew he wouldn't be able to ever convince me to help him with those plans of his, he would have went to her next for help.

Why does he need an assistant so much, to help him create a pocket dimension?

Why did he want me to use my connection with magic to create the plane, instead of him?

And if the magic is based on the pocket dimensions of Oblivion from the crisis, what is he using in place of the sigil stones? The focus of every one of those realms?

I don't know if I'm going crazy over nothing, or if Ceryeas has gone full-blown crazy, but I'm not leaving until I find out. I'm going to confront him tomorrow in his tower about this, and if he isn't there, well... Then I know where to look for him.

* * *

Ceryeas...

All the fire and fury inside of me boils into a deadly rage, and my paws start to glow red as they melt the ground beneath me.

Ceryeas.

He did it! That portal, that screaming...That must be Jasper up there! What did you do to him, Ceryeas? What did you do to Jasper?

By every god and daedra, I'll find out and stop it, and I'll make you pay for what you did to my best friend! I swear it!

I roar at the top of my lungs like an angry Senche-raht.

"Ceryeas! I'm coming for you!" the words roar out from me, louder than the thunder outside, shaking the college. I don't care who heard those words.

And then I realized. Those words...

I just spoke.


	7. Whisker to Whisper (Part 4)

I hold my mouth open for a few seconds, still in shock. I have to do it again.

"Testing, testing...One two..." I speak out loud.

I can't believe it. All it actually takes to speak is to just think what I want to say while concentrating on a generic sound spell, instead of actually trying to mouth the words.

You know, I'm sure I've tried that before...why did it start to work suddenly now?

Forget about it, Smallpaws, you can think over the why's and how's of what makes magic works after you sink your claws into Ceryeas's throat. Now, where has that cretin gone off to?

I run out of Jasper's room and head down the hall toward the lobby again. Along the way down I hear the sound of several doors shutting soon after one another. I guess I woke everyone up with my shouting. I should go down there and tell all of them about what I discovered. Although a part of me wishes I could take Ceryeas down by myself, the rational side remembers that in the end, I am just an Alfiq with a moderate level of magical power, and he's the headmaster of a magical college.

I run and jump on the railing of the stairs down to the lobby floor, sliding all the way down. I jump off at the last second and glide across the floor, spinning around and facing the hallway where I heard the sounds coming from. I dash down it, seeing Ma'ketra, Ma'krin, Jahirr, Jizad, and J'shabi walking out of their rooms and walking in the opposite direction. Strange, they don't seem too alarmed about anything.

Maybe they just all realized they suddenly had to go use the litterbox in the middle of the night at the same time.

I run closer toward them, shouting out. "Hey guys, guess what? I can talk now!"

No response. They keep on walking without so much as turning around.

"I know, I know, you were hoping this day would never come, but I'll spare you my jokes later, right now we have a psychotic mage to take down, team! Ceryeas has gone full-blown Ra-zara'chi!"

Still no response. Huh, I thought they would have at least reacted to the Ra-zara'chi comparison.

I catch up to Ma'ketra and jump on her head, and look down over her eyes.

"Hey, what's going on Ketra, what's with the whole silent treatment, are we having a super special secret meeting?" I say to her. Still no indication that she even heard me...but then I look closer into her eyes. It doesn't look like she even sees me.

"Ma'ketra?" I say again. Worry starts to come over me. What's going on?

I jump off of her, and run up to look at Jizad, and J'shabi, both of them have that same blank stare as they walk slowly toward the end of the hall. It looks like they're moving toward a door down the steps.

I jump up on Jahirr's neck and try to get through to him.

"Hey big guy, snap out of it. I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is I don't like it. I know you can probably hear me. Sign to me what's going on!"

Yet again, no response. Whatever's happened, it's even got to Jahirr...wow, that's bad. Real bad.

I claw into his neck to try to snap him out of it, but that only makes him roar in anger. He shakes me off of his head and grabs my collar with one of his claws. I get another quick look in his dead-straight eyes, and he doesn't look at me, only flings his arm back, throwing me far down the hallway. I flip over in time to land on my feet, sliding as I hit the ground, and start running back toward them.

They walk through the door, with Jahirr being the last to go through it, and then the door slams in my face before I could make it through.

No! Something's not right. Ceryeas must be doing something to them, he must be! Damn it, Ceryeas! You take away my best friend and now you're messing with my new ones! You're in for it big time, now!

I try to use alteration to unlock the door, but it doesn't so much as budge. There's much more powerful magic keeping it shut, but I know how to get past that...

"Hey, mysterious magical buddy, open this door up, I've gotta save my friends!"

There's just silence. Now not even my magic buddy is talking to me.

"Come on! I know you can hear me! I know you want me to stop Ceryeas and save Jasper, but first I gotta save my other friends from him!"

For a few seconds there's still just silence, but then I hear the sound of some metal shaking and then shooting out from a wall and hitting the floor near the other side of the wall. I turn around and see that it was the grate with thin slit cuts going down vertically across it, that was covering up a small square hole in the wall. What is this? An Alfiq shortcut? My magic friend seems to want me to go this way, I guess I don't have a choice. I just hope it's taking me to my friends.

I climb into the square hole in the wall, to find a long square tunnel made of metal and feeling slightly warm to the touch. I'm just small enough to get inside and walk through it. Whatever could this be for? Some new magical technology for something? Strange.

It continues down for quite awhile and then has two paths leading in opposite directions. I take the left path and see more turns and winding pathways. This is like some small metal square maze! How am I supposed to find my way through this in time?

"Hey, a little more help up there buddy? I'm kinda lost!"

Suddenly, in response to my question, I see some fire flare out in a stream from down one of the pathways of the metal maze. It stops after a while and I walk toward it and see a soul gem on the other side. That must be what caused the flames.

I knock it over, just in case it tries to burn me, and I see another flame start streaming down another one of the paths. I guess this is my magical buddy's way of showing me the way to go. Still strange that they have these soul gems in here...

I continue to follow the stream of flames through the maze for some time.

* * *

Khinashi's tears dampen the fur all over her face. This one does not know how long she has been crying now, she does not know how long it has been that she has been trapped. She can see nothing, and hear only muffled sounds. For a while, she thought she heard the roars and growls of Khajiit, if not the thunder, she worries that its the cry of pain of her friends.

This one feels so stupid. She let this happen to them, all of them. They were suspicious from the start, and Khinashi ignored them, thinking it was just their predisposition against magic when in truth they were very right to be cautious...

This one wanted to believe that this was just a place that taught the goodness of magic. She wanted to believe they were just mages like her father, who used it to protect people...Not use it to bind people to fatal experiments!

Now because of her foolishness, her friends are in fatal danger and there is nothing Khinashi can do about it. Nothing but accept her fate, whatever fate awaits her when the experiment is over.

This one sits in silence and ponders nothing but aimless thought, to keep her distracted from her situation. She may be unable to move or see or hear or smell, but she can think.

So Khinashi will think.

It is like the feeling of being at the bottom of the ocean, miles beneath, so far from her friends with the guilt being the weight of the water crushing her deep into the darkest depths, where no light ever shines. The water pressure would feel like these walls closing in on her until she snaps and her bones crumble – but this one would be dead before from drowning in the tears of her failure...

Strangely, the idea of drowning in the wide expanse of the ocean is a more pleasant feeling than suffocating in here.

Khinashi closes her eyes, despite it not making it any darker than when they are open, and imagines the freedom of being so far away from everything, that nothing she knows of now ever matters anymore. Whether beneath the water so far down that no one has ever reached, or on the other side of the world, on Akavir, where the land, the people, the language, and history are so different as to make her current concerns irrelevant. Perhaps even further, to the realms of the Daedra, where not even death is the end, and time moves differently. What are their concerns on a daily matter, compared to hers now? What of Sheogorath and his people of the Shivering Isles? What would they be doing right now?

Perhaps they are happy. Perhaps madness would be a freedom, a mercy from her suffering. A bitter mercy, but a mercy nonetheless. What is a life of madness, if not the freedom from any concerns, and the freedom from the burden of coherent thought altogether, anyway?

Hours pass, or perhaps minutes. Seconds. Days? What is there to tell if the only indication is that this one is still alive? Maybe the world has ended, or perhaps she has already died, and this is just her interpretation of the Void?

Perhaps Ceryeas has already finished and will be returning to save Khinashi from this dreaded existence.

Perhaps Ceryeas was right.

No. No...

Too much thinking. Too much, Khinashi. This is what Ceryeas wants. He wants you to give in to his ideas, but he is wrong, and this one will never succumb.

Instead, this one thinks of any type of spell she could use to get out...what kind of spell would help to get through a wall?

Eventually, this one remembers the books she was reading before Ceryeas came into the room. It was a book on Alteration spell uses, and one of them was about using flesh spells on objects or surfaces, to make them a lesser material to break through or melt.

It seems too much and too tough of a surface to reliably cast the spell on, but Khinashi tries anyway. Anything is worth trying, even if she is doubtful.

She concentrates on the Oakflesh spell, but instead of changing her skin to be as tough as Oak, she puts her hand on the wall and focuses on that. For a while it seems to work, the area around her hand feels softer than the wall, but only a small part of it. After a while her magic is drained and she is no closer to getting out as she was before, and now she does not have any magicka left to try any other spells...

Stupid, stupid Khinashi!

This one bangs her head against the wall, clawing aimlessly with no purpose. Maybe if she does this hard enough she will go unconscious, and then she will not have to worry about thinking of what is happening to them, or thinking until she goes crazy.

The pain exhausts her to the point that she cannot even continue that. Her head aches relentlessly, and the new damp feeling could perhaps be blood, but now all her energy is spent, and she rests in any way she can that does not cramp her body too much, which really means this one can only stand up, as the space between the wall is not big enough to even lay down.

If this is what most mages are like, then maybe there is a good reason they are so untrusted. She has always heard that magic corrupts people...but she never believed it until now. Is this what Khinashi would become like if she learned too much? Father did not get corrupted by it, but then Father was a much better person than Khinashi... Maybe she should stop before it is too late, before she becomes like Ceryeas. Too concerned with progress and power that she puts it above other people's lives.

Perhaps.

Perhaps...

* * *

I turn left at the next fork and to my relief, see an exit out of this crazy maze. I was starting to feel lost and claustrophobic. I still have no clue what this thing is used for.

I crawl up close to the grate and start to hear chanting noises and push my nose up against it to see as best I can the scene before me.

I see a dark room lit with more of those ever-constant burning blue flames, I see pillars about the room, alcoves in the walls which contain coffins in some of them, and wrapped bodies in others. Am I guessing this is some kind of undercroft?

There are raised stone tables about the room in a circle, facing away from an indented ritual circle in the center, which the pillars dot about it, holding up a stone ceiling over it.

In the middle of the circle on a pedestal, is an opened book, and in front of the book reading from it is Ceryeas, with his arms out, chanting nonsensical words that are probably a part of a spell.

On top of the stone tables are my friends, lying about it, as if sleeping.

Next to the tables they're at are stands holding up a soul gem, which suddenly start glowing brightly. A stream of light flows from the gems into my friends, and I hear them start to scream out in pain, as particles start to flow into the gem from them.

Alright, I've seen enough, I don't have much of a plan but I know I need to stop this soon. I'll just have to improvise... Soul gems and screaming and creepy chanting usually don't mean anything good is happening. None of them will be any help in this state, and going up against Ceryeas directly would be suicide. Hmm...What to do without resulting in my immediate and untimely death...

Well whatever's going on, I'd bet destroying those soul gems would stop it...Or kill them...Let's hope it's the former because that's the only plan I've got.

I squeeze my paws through the thin slits of the grate, but it doesn't budge, it's latched on hard to the wall. My mysterious friend must realize I want out now though, and slowly opens the hatch for me without making a sound.

I jump down quietly and turn invisible, walking through the room past Ceryeas who's still distracted, and jump on up the top of the stone table where Ma'ketra lies. The sounds of her whimpering in pain make me wince. Poor girl...Hopefully, this wakes you up, and we can take him down together!

I hop up on top of her back and focus my thoughts on the soul gem next to her, and use telekinesis to lift it up, and throw it hard against the ground floor. It works! The gem smashes into bits upon contact, but the noise almost definitely alerts Ceryeas.

"Come on! Snap out of it!" I nudge her neck with my claws. She no longer screams, and is definitely still alive...but still perpetually asleep. Dang it.

I hop down quickly and hide behind the table.

Ceryeas stops chanting and walks over to see the smashed gem.

"Hmm..." he says to himself.

I make use of his distraction to buy me enough time to cast invisibility and use telekinesis to smash the next gem. Two down, three to go...This isn't so hard, if I can just keep invisible he can't see me, and then-

My thoughts are cut off as I revert back to visibility and feel myself lifting up in the air.

Crap.

I hover higher into the air and over to be on eye level a couple feet in front of Ceryeas, who holds a hand to his chin in thought. He doesn't seem too perturbed.

I hiss at him and extend my claws, and bare my teeth.

"So, the meddling housecat arrives at last."

"Hey, that's 'meddling Alfiq' to you, bananna-boy! Get it right! I'm here to thwart your evil plans and save my friends!"

"So, you can use magic to talk. Interesting." He says, ignoring the rest of what I said.

"I can use magic to do more than just talk, let me down and I'll show you!"

I feel myself starting to float backward as he walks toward me.

"Your drive to invade my privacy, learn my secrets and disrupt my plans is fascinating, if vaguely annoying, but I think I'll have to examine you later after your friends are through with their experiment." He says with a monotone voice.

"Hey, what are you doing? Let me go!" I shout. He doesn't even seem threatened by me! I hear the screaming of my friends behind him, and I catch a glimpse. They start to look a little pale from the light being stolen out of them - their soul energy... Mysterious, magical friend. Some help would be very appreciated right about now!

Nothing happens.

Alright then, I guess I'm on my own. I need to think of something. Come on, Smallpaws, think!

I struggle against the magic holding me in the air, but it's no use. It's too strong. I hear a cage unlocking behind me, and I see over my shoulder a metal cage used to hold birds, or small creatures for study, open up. He wants to trap me!

I look about the room for something to help me, anything. All I see are buckets...bones, and various tools to prepare the dead. Hmm, actually, that might just do!

I focus my eyes on one of the sharper tools in the collection on a nearby table and swivel my head quickly over to Ceryeas. Immediately a sharp embalming tool embeds itself into Ceryeas's chest. He yelps out in pain and loses his focus, and unable to keep up his spell on me. I drop to the floor and quickly run behind the tables, turning invisible again.

He pulls out the tool and heals himself, and readies some spells. "Ah! You stupid...Argh! How dare you attack me! I am a master of the arcane, I could incinerate you where you stand-"

His sentence is cut off as a bucket of water splashes on top of his head. That never gets old.

I hop on a table and use my magic to grab the next nearest gem while he's caught in my prank, and smash that one to bits. Just as I leap down off of the table, I hear the sound of a firebolt narrowly missing me, and my fur stands on end. He's mad now.

"You know, maybe you're not worth the trouble of experimenting on after all, cat! Your friends are more than enough! I think I'd rather just kill you!"

I try using telekinesis to throw another object at him, but he holds out his hand and it stops in mid-air, and with another hand, lifts up several sharp tools and throws them all around the room toward me. They go around the corner of the table I hide behind and I run as fast as I can, out into the open, where he flings more firebolts at me that I dodge, still running from the tools.

This isn't working, I can't outrun those forever, and one of these times his spells will hit me!

I close my eyes and deeply concentrate while I run on a spell that I've never fully mastered before, but right now I don't have a choice, it needs to work.

Come on, Smallpaws! Do your magic!

I feel a tingle as three illusions of me run and turn in different directions about the room, and the tools make the mistake of following one of the illusions.

It's mental chaos, but I keep it up while I run toward the next gem. I see my illusions doing random things to distract him. One of them disappear as they run close to a wall and the tools fly through it and crash against it. Another gets close to Ceryeas and sticks his tongue out while pulling his cheeks to the side. Ceryeas tries to grab him, but his hand passes through. Ceryeas grumbles loudly. He's very irritated.

I jump on the table and knock over the soul gem to the ground myself, knocking over the stand with it. Luckily, the force is still enough to break the gem. Only one more to go. Jizad's gem. The sound of his wailing makes me ache. I hope I'm not too late to save him!

"Enough! I will not be defeated by a glorified housecat!" Ceryeas shouts.

"Yeah? Well, there's a first time for everything!"

I laugh as I notice the last illusion stroking up against his leg, flipping over and trying to play with his shoestrings.

Ceryeas stomps his foot on him, making it disappear. I feel very magically exhausted from that spell, but push on to get to the last gem. Almost there!

I fly back from the force of a fire explosion narrowly missing me and hit the wall, stunning me for a precious few seconds I wasn't allowed to waste. I feel myself lifting up in the air again, caught in his grasp, and unable to concentrate on enough magic to do anything about it.

I feel the force of his magic pressing down against my throat, choking me. I can't breathe.

"You know, I understand now why Jasper thought you were so special. Oh yes, I realized you were the old cat he constantly babbled on about, for a while now. He was a meddler, too, before his 'accident'. But I guess you know that there was more to it than that. A shame you won't be alive to tell anyone-"

I hear a loud clank and see that metal cage ripped off from its chains and smash itself onto Ceryeas's head, breaking through the bars at the bottom. He drops to the ground, and so do I.

I take a second to catch my breath.

"Thanks, buddy, but you could have decided to help about, I don't know...when he first started to try to kill me!?" I shout in annoyance.

I jump up on the table with Jizad and knock over the last soul gem stand. All of them are saved from the immediate threat, but I still don't know how to wake them up...

"Jasper!" Ceryeas shouts angrily. He uses his magic to rip apart the cage on his face, as he stands up and throws it down. I jump down and start backing up toward the exit.

"You and your cat will pay for interrupting my work! I warned you what would happen if you tried to regain control again!"

Jasper...? Wait what? He's the one who's been helping me all this time? My mysterious magical buddy?

Before I have more time to ponder this sudden revelation, all of the tools in the room start floating up and shooting fast toward Ceryeas, but Ceryeas lifts up his hands again and stops them in their tracks, dropping them to the floor.

"It looks like it's time to give you some company in your suffering, Jasper. Death is too good for him now because of you, and after that, I'll remind you just how much pain you can still feel! I control you! I control this college, and I will not stand for your interference!" Ceryeas shouts.

Ceryeas starts chanting more mystic ritual words and suddenly, all of my friends start awakening from their table, and look toward me with their unseeing eyes. They start growling at me upon approach. I back up more until I reach the exit. Thankfully this time, the door swings open, and then I turn around and start sprinting.

* * *

This one nearly managed to fall asleep when she heard the muffled sound of running, stomping feet running into the library. Khinashi awoke instantly. Is it Ceryeas, or someone else?

"Hello?" the voice says. It is not Ceryeas. It sounds like Muffin. What is she doing up?

"There's no one in here Mulfendun, come on, we need to go tell Merellis what we learned."

"Wait! Help! Khinashi is here, in the wall!" this one shouts as loud as she could. She wonders now how Mulfendun would have heard her shouting before out in the hallways...

"There it is again! Don't you hear it?" Muffin says.

"Well, it's clearly not coming from in here." Divyral responds.

Khinashi pounds against the wall, again to no avail. What would they be able to do, anyway? She is stuck in a stone wall...

This one does not think of what she is doing, and instinctively uses the oakflesh spell on the wall again, and once again it works for a portion, just enough to create a small area of weakened oak-like stone in the wall...but nothing more. Her concentration wavers, but she holds it up nonetheless. What else now, Khinashi?

You cannot burn it, that would burn you too, you are too close! You need to break through it!

Punching would not work...But stabbing, perhaps?

This one uses her other hand to create a bound sword in her hand, and wiggles it up the enclosed wall space until she finds the weakened oak spot. She does not have much room to bring back the sword for momentum, but she tries anyway to pierce the wall.

She stabs once. Just a nick in the wall, nothing more. It is oak, but still inches of solid oak.

She brings it back and stabs another time, but misses the spot she hit first, creating just another nick. This is not working, she should just give up...

No! Khinashi will not!

This one screams at the top of her lungs and hurls the sword into the wall with all her might...  
And the sword breaks upon contact and disappears, and she runs out of magicka to do anything else.

Khinashi stands and stares in the dark almost disbelief for a few moments. Magic had always been there when she needed it in the last moment. Even now this one's doubts up until now had been half-lies to herself, struggling with the idea of whether to abandon it, but now...now it has abandoned her, when she needed it most. Her last chance.

This one's decision has been made for her.

"Hello! Is anyone there? Where are you?" Muffin shouts at the wall closest to Khinashi.

Khinashi stands for a few moments in surprise. How did she know to walk closer? Did she guess that the walls themselves were talking? She must have and heard her screams after all.

"What are you a wall whisperer now? Look at you, this is worse than you trying to trying to talk to the whispers at night. Come on, we need to tell Merellis about Ceryeas and the portal from the notes." Divyral says.

"Wait! Muffin! Can you hear Khinashi?" this one shouts as loud as she can, pressing her muzzle up to the wall, banging loudly on it.

"What? Can I hear Khinashi? No, I can't hear her...Why, is she trying to talk to us?" Muffin asks, putting her hands on the wall.

"What are you doing?" Divyral asks, walking closer to the wall.

"The walls know my name! It's asking us if we can hear Khinashi!"

"No! This one is trapped and needs help!" this one shouts.

"The wall is saying it's trapped? I think?" Muffin says. "I hear some vibration coming from it."

"No! This one is Khinashi!" this one says.

"Khinashi! What happened? How did you turn yourself into a wall!?"

"She means she's trapped behind the wall, Mulfendun. Goodness gracious, woman." Divyral,

"Wait so you can hear her too?" Muffin asks.

"How did you get stuck behind there Khinashi?" Divyral ignores Muffin, and asks.

"Ceryeas trapped me here! He is trying to use dream magic to control my friends and force them to do his experiment!"

There is the sound of a gasp, as this one guesses Divyral and Muffin look to each other.

"Hold on Khinashi, we'll get you out of there!" Muffin shouts. "You can get her out of there right?" Muffin says quietly to Divyral.

Divyral doesn't respond, and instead casts a spell at the wall. It makes a loud sound, but nothing happens. He grunts from frustration and tries again, but the result is the same.

"What is this? I should have the permissions for this! Why isn't it letting me do this?" Divyral shouts.

"You have permissions to trap and untrap people in walls?" Muffin asks. Divyral attempts another spell, but again to no avail.

"No! It's for-gah, forget it, it's not important right now. It doesn't seem to be working anyway."

"So what do we do?" Muffin asks.

This one sighs and thinks about what must be happening to her friends right now. They are probably in a lot of pain, screaming and shouting, all because of Khinashi...

Actually, this one can hear screaming and shouting! From downstairs!

"Forget this one, you have to go and save her friends! Find some way to break the spell on them, free them from Ceryeas!"

"Okay! We'll come back for you!" Muffin shouts, and this one hears them running off, before Muffin runs back up to the wall again.

"You wouldn't happen to know how to break the spell, would you Khinashi?" Muffin asks.

"Come on! She said it's dream magic. I know how to break it, now lets go!" Divyral shouts. They run off again.

This one sighs, and tears start to dampen her cheeks again as she hears the shouting going on downstairs. This is all Khinashi's fault...And she cannot even do anything to help them now. She could not even help herself.

Divyral and Muffin are brave to save them in her stead, even though they have only known us for less than a day. If only more mages were like them, and father.

This one does not know what to think.

* * *

I run as fast as my Alfiq body can take me, to the point that I feel the shiver of adrenaline both pressing me onward and scaring me so much I don't want to look behind me. My head is locked into place straightforward.

Down the hall, Smallpaws, that's all you need to do. If you make it to the lobby, you can jump through the portal, and then...uh, and then make your way up to the tower to Jasper, and then...well, I'll figure out some way to save him, I guess, I don't know, but I don't really have many options right now!

I jump up several times my height from freaking out as I hear a clamp of teeth snap right behind me. I land on Jahirr's head. I have no time to think of what I'm doing. Jahirr is running at full speed, trying to turn his head and nip my feet, but I tug my claws at his ears and try to steer him into the wall. Just as I do, and he crashes into it, I feel my stomach being grabbed and notice Jizad was riding on the back of him. We fall off of Jahiir, still stuck in his grasp, and I bite down as hard as I can into his hands, making him yelp from pain, and forcing him to let go.

"You aren't getting away that easily, cat!" I hear Ceryeas shouting from far behind. I look back to him and see him raising his hand to cast a spell, but can't tell what it's doing. I look back forward to see the rug of the floor I was running on rolling itself up at a very high speed. I panic and try to run to the side in time to get out of the way, but I wasn't fast enough. I feel myself getting dizzy as I start twisting around upside down and over as the rug rolls up more and more until I almost get back toward the door to the undercroft.

I try wiggling myself out of the rug. I can feel myself loosening, more and more. I see J'shabi running toward me and reaching out her hand to grab me, but I escape from the rug just in time to escape her grasp and start running toward the lobby again.

"Some help would be very appreciated right now Jasper! What have you got for me? Anything to keep them off my tail?"

As if my words themselves summoned them, I see a few Storm Atronach guards appear in front of me, immediately charging up spells toward my friends.

"Wait! No stop, that's not what I meant Jasper! Those are my friends, they're being controlled, don't hurt them!"

The storm atronachs disengage their targets, and instead focus more on Ceryeas. I hear the sound of lightning bolts crackle through the air, but the following sounds of spells indicate that Ceryeas isn't about to let himself be defeated by lowly Atronachs. I hear their crumbling and explosive sounds of being destroyed as he whirls powerful spells of his own at them.

I gulp. If just one of those spells would hit me, I'd be incinerated. It's a good thing Ceryeas thinks I'm too good for immediate death now, or I would be dead.

"Alright, anything el-llllse?" I say, being interrupted as I feel my shawl being tugged on, and myself being flipped upward and upside down. I look down to see the gaping maw of Ma'ketra wide open as if to eat me in one gulp. I spread out my arms and legs to stop myself from falling in her mouth, pressing them against her jaw. She snaps them shut and makes me lose my balance, falling backward.

I feel myself being pressed hard against something solid and moving fast, and whisking away from Ma'ketra. I nearly fall off until I dig my claws into whatever it is, and realize then that it's a floating book!

I look behind me to see all of my friends and Ceryeas getting farther and farther away. I laugh.

"Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about Jasper, book surfing, woo-hoo!"

I look back in front of me and see a large red and blue Dremora in a suit walking toward me. I think Muffin called him Fred.

"Uh, that's one of yours right Jasper?"

He starts to raise up his hands.

"Uh, Jasper?"

The book tries to fly past him, but the Dremora manages to quickly grab the book, making me fly and flip forwards into the air from the momentum.

I'm stunned and dazed for a moment as I hit the ground, but manage to get up and keep running before he can catch me. I feel like I've lost him, until I look back and see that that Dremora in a suit can actually run really fast!

I weave back and forth to dodge him, and when I run close to the side of the hallway, I hear the Dremora grunt loudly in pain. I look back to see that Jasper made one of the doors swing open right in front of him, making him crash into it.

"Oh Jasper, it's just like old times!" I laugh.

I keep in mind that he can do that, and keep to the side in case any others get close enough to me.

I hear one of the Senches coming up close, and wait to hear the associated crashing sound, but instead, I hear the door swing open, and then get busted down, unable to stop the charging force.

I look behind me to see Ma'krin, as he gains speed on me. No doors are going to stop him!

I weave some more to dodge his grabs at me, thinking of something I could do to help, and then realize I've never even tried using the fear spell yet!

I sprint a little more forward and then turn around and skid across the slick floor, facing Ma'krin, looking at him in the eyes as he charges at me. I let out a menacing, loud growl infused with the fear spell to scare him, so loud that it makes the college walls shake. Ma'krin skids to a halt in front of me, and then looks at me, unfazed.

He puts his paw down on my tail and I yelp from pain. I guess it didn't work!

I try squeezing out from his grip, but to no avail. He just sits down and rests his arm on me while the rest of the pride catches up to collect me.

Then out of nowhere, I see one of the paintings on the wall levitate and smash itself down onto Ma'krin's head, smashing through the probably priceless piece of art, and making him move his paws to try to lift it off of his head, allowing me the chance to escape! I'm almost to the lobby now!

"Enough! These charades end now!" I hear Ceryeas yelling from far away. In front of me I see stone bricks from the walls behind and in front of me forming to create an impenetrable blockade at the end of the hallway into the lobby. No! I was so close!

"Come on Jasper, break me through! Pick it apart or something!" I shout.

I see some of the bricks urging to try to break out, but they're held in place immediately after.

"Your friend overestimates his power to control the magic of the college. You might have allowed him a small glimpse of awareness enough to use it, but my control is absolute over him! You shall not be escaping!"

To my right I hear a small creaking sound as I see one of the grates to that maze tunnel again slowly open up. I smile, and immediately run towards it before Ceryeas realizes what Jasper did.

I run through the tunnel, and turn right to make my way down to the nearest exit. I hear Ceryeas yelling in frustration, but then laughing. Why is he laughing?

Behind me I hear the rush of flames heading toward me, and I sprint as fast as I can.

The fire gets closer, and closer, and I feel it almost reaching my tail...and I turn right around the corner at the last second, and Jasper opens up the grate allowing me to escape. I'm on the other side of the wall, into the lobby now. I see the trap door open itself up thanks to Jasper, and at the same time hear the wall Ceryeas made start to crumble.

I jump down the trapdoor just before Ceryeas manages to make it close, and land flat on my feet. I see the big blue and purple portal glowing right in front of me. I run towards it.

"Hang in there Jasper, I'm coming to save you!" I shout as I jump through it.

* * *

As we run down the hall, I see a trapdoor open and suddenly get ripped out of its hinges with magic, and then all of the Khajiit come running out of the lower hall toward it. Divyral and I crouch and stay close to the wall, in the darkest shadows, so that we don't get seen.

Underneath that trapdoor must be where that portal to the other dimension is that the notes Divyral and I mentioned...What are they doing going in there?

"You stupid, worthless cats, get in there and catch that Alfiq!" Ceryeas shouts, as he runs into the scene after them. One by one, I see each Khajiit drop down below the lobby, where a bright light is emanating from. Even Ceryeas follows them in.

Alfiq? Did he mean...what was his name, Smallpaws, I think? Why would he be chasing after him?

"That's where his notes said the portal was." Divyral whispers. I nod.

"I thought Khinashi said her friends were being dream controlled and forced into an experiment." Divyral says.

I shake my head and shrug. Khinashi seemed very adamant that she knew what Ceryeas was doing, and from what we discovered about him, I certainly wouldn't put it past him...Although, the way Ceryeas was talking to the Khajiit, it didn't seem like he was very respectful, calling them worthless cats. Maybe he is still controlling them through their dreams, but Smallpaws wasn't affected? Maybe he was awake, and interrupted the experiment?

"I'm not quite sure what's happening, but the experiment must have been sabotaged, and the way they're chasing after Smallpaws, it looks like they're still being controlled, so...we still have to break the spell. You never mentioned how you planned to do that yet though, Div."

Divyral sighs. "We have to find the book Ceryeas was using for the dream ritual incantation, and then find the proper words of the incantation to stop it, but I guess now that means we'll also have to chase them through that portal to get close enough. Great."

"Well, at least that means we won't have any trouble getting to the book! If he left it behind, at least...We saw them coming from that hallway, after all. Come on, let's go. " I say, and we both start walking down the rest of the stairs and into the hallway.

I look down the hallway and see a mess everywhere. Crumbling bricks torn from walls, all piled on the ground, torn paintings, doors ripped off of their hinges...How could a small Alfiq warrant all that destruction?

"Woah..." I say as we pass through deeper into the hallways. I look and even see remains of Storm Atronach guardians...Smallpaws was able to destroy those? I remind myself not to get on his bad side.

Among the rubble, I see my old friend the Dremora butler pulling himself out of a wreck on the floor, and run over to offer to help him up.

"Hey look, it's Fred!" I say, looking over to Divyral and pointing at Fred.

Divyral gasps and darts toward me and shoves me out of the way just in time to avoid Fred from trying to slice me in half with a bound battleaxe I didn't even notice he had! Divyral pulls me into a room and slams the door shut behind us. He holds it closed with his back against the door, and then the battleaxe chips through some of the door just beside his head.

"What's going on? Why's Fred trying to kill us all of a sudden Div!? Did I tell him to do too many chores!?" I shout.

"Ceryeas has gone man, Mulfendun, it's no surprise the minions have turned against us now!" Divyral shouts.

"What do we do!?" I shout, as another chip in the door narrowly misses Divyral.

"Get that table! Push it over here against the door!" Divyral commands. I look at where he's pointing and immediately push it over as fast as I can. Divyral ducks to avoid another chip in the door from the battleaxe. It doesn't look like it can take much more.

"We can't just stay in here and keep blocking the door, he's bound to break through it all eventually!" I say as I push it up against the door. I start tipping it on it's side but Divyral presses it back down and keeps it flat on its legs, and pushes it the rest of the way.

"When I open the door, push the table as hard as you can to knock back Fred and then run as fast as you can to find the book. I'll hold him off." he says.

"Div, what!? That's a Dremora!"

"In a suit, Mulfendun. I'm a third year student in Conjuration, I can handle a dremora in a suit." Divyral says flatly. It is clear he will not take no for an answer.

I shakily nod my head, still scared about everything that's happening. The door cracks loudly as it starts to break open from the battleaxe chipping more of it away. Divyral gets into position to push the door open, and then gives me a nod to make sure I'm ready. I nod back to him.

"Be safe, Div..." I say.

"Now!" He shouts, and opens the door at the same time that Fred swings down his battlaxe, making him hack into table instead. If flips the table up, and then I charge at it and push it as hard as I can to knock him back into the hallway, and onto the ground.

I start running down the hallway, and glance back to see Fred kicking the table away from him, and Divyral summoning a Frost Atronach and a bound sword. I gulp. A Frost Atronach is strong, but it won't last long by itself against Fred, suit or not...Divyral better know how to use that sword too if he's to stand a chance.

I shake my thoughts away and focus on the task at hand. My job is to find that book. All of those Khajiit are depending on her now, even though they don't know it.

I reach the end of the hallway to the undercroft and see the door swung wide open, with more debri inside and around the outside. Well, this must be where the experiment was taking place then, and where the book should be in that case.

Inside of the undercroft doesn't look any better, with embalming tools flung around everywhere, shattered soul gems, cages tipped over...Wow, it's still hard to believe that an Alfiq had a hand in causing all of this.

In the center of the room is a pedestal with a book on it, likely the item I'm looking for. My suspicions are confirmed when I see the title. I sigh of relief and grab the book and start leaving, and then it dawns on me...I'm going to have to be the one to read the book, because Divyral is still fighting Fred.

There are so many different incantations in here! But I have no time to complain, I'll just have to skim read through it all, all while I run back through the halls, and into that portal into another dimension, all to help save some Khajiit I just met earlier today.

I have to wonder if it's not me who's having some really wild dream magic used on me and I'm just making this all up.

* * *

Thunder crackles through the sky relentlessly, as lightning lights up the infinite clouds in this realm.

I run to the edge of the stone platform before the winding path to the tower, and take a moment to look down below.

It's just an endless mass of clouds...everywhere. The tower in the distance seems to rise out from nowhere amongst the clouds, and the lightning...it happens everywhere, below, above. The lightning is the only thing keeping this dimension light enough to see anything.

And the chill...there's a gust of wind everpresent here, that chills me to the bone. It's strong enough to almost blow me off my feet, and when I see that winding path of stone rocks cobbled together to form some crazy bridge to the tower...I'm not usually afraid of heights, but I have no desire to see how endless the fall from here would really be.

But I have to do it. For Jasper. I know he would do the same for me. He would take any risk to find me if he knew it could save me.

And so with that, I step my first foot onto the winding stone bridge and slowly begin my passage through the realm.

It's only just then that I hear the sound of my friends, and Ceryeas, following me through the portal, and now I know I have no choice but to run.

I sure wish Jasper could hover over another floating book for me to get to the top of the tower quicker.

I dash as fast as I can allow myself without falling, and make my way through the winding bridge. I look behind me and see the others following with a speed that does not seem hindered by the twisting path or the wind at all!

They'll catch me in no time like this!

I look for any way to make a shortcut, and use my eyes to follow where the paths twist and turn, go up and down, and swirl, to see anywhere that I could jump to skip some of the way. Finally, I see one below just up ahead – a part of the curved path that reaches out just far enough below that I could possibly make it if I jumped. Possibly...Or I could fall to my death.

The loud growl from behind makes up my mind, and I make a run on a small patch of the path and jump. Through the thunder and lightning, the clouds, the wind and the screams I hear own voice in my mind screaming at me how bad of an idea this was, as I just barely grab the edge of the curved path below with my front claws. I manage to lock my claw onto one of the stones and slowly pull myself up. My heart beats like crazy, and it takes me a moment to come to terms with what I just did, catching my breath.

I look up and behind me and see the others not taking the shortcut I did. The dream magic must not be wanting to take any risks, and I appreciate that, considering I don't want them to fall into an endless cloud void either!

I turn back facing forward and run the rest of the way. Now I'm ahead by enough that I should be able to make it to the top before they can reach me.

But I still don't know what to do to free Jasper...

First things first Smallpaws, get there alive and then figure it out. Yeah.

I get to the tower entrance and look at the large doors before me. They have no knobs that I can use to twist with magic, and so I do the only other thing I can and nudge against it. Thankfully, my weight and force are somehow enough to push it open, where I see a large circular room with a bright light coming down from the top of the tower. It screeches a sound so loud and constant that it vibrates the tower itself. I still hear the screaming of Jasper over it. I feel my ears start to bleed from the sound of everything happening, but I press onwards.

There's a long spiral staircase made out of more stone but shaped in a way that there are gaps between the stairs, big enough for me to fall through if I'm not careful. The staircase sprawls all the way to the top. And the top is...very far away.

But I have no time to complain, all I have time to do is climb as fast as I can. I start to hop and hop, up the stairs.

More and more, my body aches and wants to quit. My ears are driving me crazy, my head aches, but I push on. For Jasper.

It's only when I'm about three-quarters of the way to the top that the others charge into the tower after me. When I see the speed at which Jahirr and the Senches can climb the stairs with ease compared to me, a fear of urgency strikes up my spine and I hop up the rest even quicker.

I don't want to glance back behind me when I reach the top. I just hop up the last stair and reach a summit, the top of the tower. Still lit by only the lightning around the realm, and the bright light bursting through from the center below, I see him. I see Jasper, my old friend, hovering in place in the center of the bright light just above the surface of the top of the tower. He still screams in agony, but upon seeing me - and I realize that he actually can see me, his screams go silent as he must be trying to force all of his attention on me.

For a second I wince of guilt, because it's been so long that I've seen him, that if I didn't know he was Jasper, I might not have recognized him anymore.

I run up to him.

"Smallpaws..." He says, fighting through the pain.

"Jasper! You're alive!...I...Can't believe it! You...Are alive, right?"

"So I am...for now, but only just. I knew someone would come for me eventually. I didn't expect it to be you, but...I am glad to see you again, old friend, one last time..."

"One last time? Don't worry buddy, just tell me how to get you out of there, and you'll be able to see me and talk to me as much as you want, once we deal with that old fart who's chasing us! Quick, tell me what to do to cut you loose from this place!"

"No, Smallpaws...You don't understand. It's too much of a risk...and I don't even know if I would survive anyway...and it's not something...I could ask of you. Kill me, please...just...end my suffering..."

"Kill you? No, Jasper, that's out of the question. I didn't come here all the way to save you just to kill you. Tell me what the other way is! Hurry!"

"Fine...It needs someone...to take my place...but It's too late for me, Smallpaws... Soon they'll...be upon you, and there will be...no escape then. Kill me now and... destroy this place...Let no one else suffer as I have."

"No! I'll do whatever it takes so that you can live. I'll take your place!"

"Don't...You dare step...near me...Smallpaws...save yourself...kill me...or leave..."

"Yeah, well news flash - I don't have to listen to you buddy! I'm getting you out of there!" I shout, and run towards the beam of light and jump at him.

But I stop, and start floating in mid-air, and start moving backward and rising up...

"Sorry to interrupt such a touching moment between the kitten and his master, but I can't allow you to do that, Smallpaws."

He turns me around to face him, and I float in front of him for awhile.

"You know, I really did underestimate you at first. I didn't think a lowly cat, Alfiq or otherwise, could prove to be such a thorn in my side. I applaud you for that - really I do – but it's time we settled this. You could have left it all alone and have just been a test subject for some experiments, and maybe even survived. Then I gave you the chance to just accept a simple death, but you've pushed me too far, and so I'll give you what you want – to be reunited with Jasper. For eternity, here to supplement the power of My college. You won't be replacing him, as you were so willing to do, instead, your essence will become a part of him. Your memories and power will be his, but Smallpaws the meddler will be no more."

"No! Just let him go, Ceryeas, he's nothing to you." Jasper shouts through the pain.

"He is Nothing to me, Jasper, but this is the consequence of Your actions. I told you not to try controlling the college, but you did anyways, and so now your friend here will pay the price. Just like Cylesse did."

"No! Get out of here... Smallpaws!"

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere without you!"

"So brave, up until the last moment. How touching." Ceryeas says, while reaching out his hand to grab me.

I scratch and paw and bite at his hand, and try to break free, but nothing works. I can tell he's protected by a powerful alteration spell. It's like trying to bite through ebony!

Ceryeas walks toward Jasper and holds out his other hand, preparing a spell. I look Jasper in the eyes, who seems to be in a pain more than the beam could ever make him feel. "I had no regrets." I say, and close my eyes.

And then I hear Muffin's voice.

"Kali xaquin kair nal!" she shouts.

Ceryeas turns around immediately, looking surprised, confused, and annoyed. I open my eyes and see her standing behind the others, holding up a book.

"What? You? What are you doing here Mulfendun?" He asks in a demanding voice.

I look around and see all of my friends look as if they'd just woken up from a bad dream. They shake their heads and look around confused. They must have broken the spell over them!

"What?...Where am I? What happened?...What is this place?" J'shabi asks.

"Ooh...my head..." Jizad says.

"It's over, Ceryeas. We know what you did, and what you're doing now! Stand down and turn yourself in, before we make you!" Muffin shouts.

Ceryeas backs further away as Ma'krin, Ma'ketra, and Jahirr close in on him.

"So what, you broke my spell. How nice. I applaud you, Mulfendun. Maybe you weren't such a failure of a mage after all...But what does that change? You and your cats?"

I notice a faint glow dissipate around Ceryeas just now. His spell wore off.

"You're all forgetting that I'm a master of the arcane and you're just a bunch of kids. I could kill all of you with a single-"

I interrupt Ceryeas's threats by biting sharply down into his hand. He instinctively loosens his grip, and climb up his arm while he's distracted and stab my claws into his face. Scratching everywhere I can at him.

"Agh! Get off, you mangy cat!"

Ma'ketra lunges forward and smashes into Ceryeas's legs, making him lose balance, step and fall backwards. I push away from his face and give the final bit of momentum to push him into the light.

"No!" I hear Ceryeas shout, as he merges into the light.

As I touch the ground, everything goes crazy for a few seconds. The lightning, the thunder, the wind, the tower. Everything starts shaking and flashing light, and for a few seconds some of us almost lose our balance, until after several seconds it stabilizes, and amongst all that noise, is Ceryeas screaming in agony.

"What...have...you...done!...No!...Release me...at once...you worms!...Or feel...my wrath!"

I walk up to him and look him in the eyes. "Sorry bannana-boy, you didn't really leave us an off switch!"

The ground shakes again. "You...You little...cat...I'll...KILL YOU...I'll DESTROY you...I'll DESTROY YOU ALL!...I'll make...you SUFFER...for all...ETERNITY for this!..."

"Hey Ceryeas! What was that you said again about not being defeated by a 'glorified housecat'?" I couldn't help myself but say it.

Lightning strikes on top of the tower at several spots, and the thunder roars even louder...but all of it misses us, and it's over as soon as it started. Ceryeas looks as if he went unconscious from the pain.

All of us just stand there in silence for half a minute.

"So...What in all of the sixteen Oblivions just happened?" J'shabi asks.

"Wait...Smallpaws...you can talk?" Jizad asks.

When all of the shaking finally stops, I look around the rest of the summit, and run to the other side of the light.

My eyes start to tear up at the sight. There he was, laying on the ground. Jasper.

"Jasper! Are you alright?" I shout as I run up and nudge him. There was no response.

"Jasper! Come on! Speak to me!" I shout even louder.

After more nudging, everyone comes over to see what's happening, but I don't care to look.

"Come on, you have to be alright...You have to...Please...Jasper...!"

I climb up onto his chest and try to listen for his heart beat...but I hear nothing.

I feel J'shabi's hand pressing on my head, and look back to see all of my friends next to me. They're all frowning. They're not supposed to be frowning.

"You have to be alive buddy, you know why? Because I didn't just take down a crazy psycho-maniac for you to be dead!...that's not how it works!"

"I'm sorry...Smallpaws..." J'shabi says.

I roar like a Senche-raht, imbued with fear, and it affects all of my friends except Ma'krin. He walks toward me with a sad face and sits down next to me.

"No! I won't give up!" I shout. I jump up and cast a shock spell with all four of my legs and slam down into Jasper's chest.

He budges from the shock, but nothing happens.

I do it again.

And again.

And again...

I feel so weak from the magicka, that I just fall off of him and roll away. I can't get up. I feel like I can't move.

"No... It wasn't supposed to end like this..." I say through sobs, and even my magicka to talk is now fading. I burrow my head into my arms and can't stop sobbing.

I thought this would be it...I thought I saved him...I thought we won, but...I guess not. All of it was for nothing...All of it...

"Hey now, who do you think you are? Because you aren't Smallpaws Sharpclaws. The Smallpaws I know would never cry like that, not for anything."

I rise my head slowly and turn around...and see Jasper alive and awake, looking over at me.

He smiles, and then laughs. "You know that shocking kind of hurt actually. I didn't think you'd do it for that long, you must have really missed me!"

"Oh damn it Jasper, if you were pretending to be dead, I'll kill you myself!" I shout as I run at him.

He grabs me as I get close and tucks me under his arm and strokes my head.

"Oh, you didn't go soft on me now did you? You left your pranking days behind when I went to college?" Jasper laughs.

Angry as I am...I can't help but laugh either.

"Alright, fine you got me...but just you wait, once you get out of here you're gonna be regretting you did that the next time you try to eat any soup - I know how to levitate things now!"

"So I see, and you can talk. I guess that means no more Smallpaws charades games with me, huh?"

"Only for you buddy, only for you...It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back, Smallpaws. Thanks for saving me..." He pets me some more, and then looks over to realize Ma'krin is still there sitting next to us.

"Hi, I'm Jasper, nice to meet you!" He says joyfully.

"He doesn't talk." I say.

"I figured, but does he do some sort of sign language? I read that was what non-speaking Khajiit used."

"He doesn't like to sign either really, or write."

"Ah, well. Hi." He reaches out to pet him and then Ma'krin growls and puts his teeth around his hand, but doesn't bite him.

"He really doesn't like to be pet either. That's Ma'krin, he doesn't like to do much of anything. Except eat and sleep." I say.

"Oh, well, Hi Ma'krin. Thanks for being here to help save me too. It means a lot to me. So...what about the rest of your friends? The ones...still running around?"

The sound of frightened screaming comes back to me, and I realize what he meant.

"Oh, right!" I shout, and use a calm spell to end the fear spell I placed on them.

"Smallpaws!" J'shabi shouts as she walks over to us along with the others, fists clenched, stomping mad.

"I think you might need to use another calm spell, paws." Jasper chuckles.

"You can't just go around using spells on us like-!" J'shabi says, but stops abruptly when she notices Jasper is awake.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't notice...You're alive, thank goodness! So you're...I saw Smallpaws call you...Jasper...so...you know each other then?" J'shabi asks.

"Hah, know him? We go way back. I'm the one who gave him that name." Jasper says.


	8. Cat Save Them All

I stretch my legs and jump up on Jasper's bed next to him. It's nice to relax now that the whole ordeal with Ceryeas has been dealt with last night. Being in Jasper's old college room with him almost reminds me of being at our old house in High Rock.

"So, you never told your new friends about me in the two years you've been with them, huh? You weren't that ashamed of me were you?" Jasper asks with his arms crossed behind his neck.

I felt an intense rush of guilt and embarrassment when he said that.

"Well, I mean...I wanted to, but...I only just learned how to speak last night, and after I heard what happened to you, I made a vow to never write again. I did tell Ma'ketra though! I've always planned to tell the others eventually but-"

Jasper laughs, interrupting me. "I'm just messing with you Smallpaws. I'm not mad...but, why did thinking I was dead, make you decide to stop writing? You used to love writing, it's how we talked...and you're an Alfiq, writing should be especially important to you, it's how you record your memories."

I was surprised to hear him say that. I didn't think he knew that last part. How did he know?

"Yeah...Well, that's the thing." I start, still feeling embarrassed. "I only found that out about Alfiq after you were gone when I already started to forget some things and I felt...Well...I felt that if I couldn't remember anything about my best friend in life, then nothing else was worth remembering."

Jasper frowns, and lifts me up onto his lap and starts to pet me again.

"Smallpaws, as much as I feel honored that you find those memories so important to you that you would do that, don't let that throw the rest of your life's memories away. I'm not the only best friend you're ever going to have."

"Yeah, I guess...I know you're right, but...How did you know about that anyway, about Alfiq memory loss?"

"Well, after I moved out of the house, and into college, you'd be surprised how many books they have about any number of topics, and one of them was about Alfiq. 'The Chroniclers of Elsweyr' I think it was called. Interesting book. It was all about that topic, and so when I found that out I decided to write a book for you. Your own Krozijkajabo. Thought-book. I intended to give it to you when I headed back home after leaving college, but...well as you can see, there were some complications. So here. I'll give it to you now."

Jasper set me aside and opened one of the boxes in his room and, after some searching, pulled out a big book and set it down in front of me.

"Wait...You mean...Is this, really?"

"Yeah. I wrote about everything I could remember of your life since the day we adopted you until I left for college. I knew that you probably would have started to forget by the time you found that out about yourself and took it upon myself to make up for that. After all, it's the closest family relatives duty to write the first few years of an Alfiq's life. I just wrote a few extra years for you too. Right?"

"I...Yeah..." I sniffle and start to tear up again. "Yeah..."

It was hard to take in. Sitting in front of me was the complete story of the first 12 years of my life. Memories I'd long forgotten by now...details I would have never been able to recall. I had thought all hope of remembering them was lost, but no...I'd given up on ever hoping to remember them that I wanted to forget everything else, I wanted to forget Jasper even, to ease my pain, but now...

"I've missed you, Jasper. I thought I was going to forget you forever, and now you're here, alive, and with all my lost memories, just here sitting in front of me. This is...more than I could have ever hoped for."

"I've missed you too Smallpaws. I've missed you too. Since my first day of college here, I kept telling others about you, and our adventures. There were always things I wish I could have told you about, or wished you were here with me. Then, I thought...I was going to leave and get to see you again. Then Ceryeas happened and...I didn't think I'd see you ever again, or anyone for that matter. You really saved me, and you know how I don't like admitting that sometimes...I mean it."

We both sat there in silence for a little longer. Then I remembered something that I had to ask about.

"So...I heard the name mentioned a couple times, in your journal, and then Ceryeas mentioned her by name-"

"Cylesse." Jasper says, interrupting. He looked down and closed his eyes, and I could tell they were starting to tear up...and now I felt bad for bringing it up.

"You don't have to talk about it, Jasper...I'm sorry."

"Yeah...No, it's okay. I just...don't know when I'll be able to accept that she's gone...He tried to do the same thing to you, you know...He was about to-"

"Yeah but he didn't, we stopped him."

"Yeah...we did didn't we. You did. You saved me...I just wish...I could have saved her."

I sat there and let silence say the rest. I knew that feeling.

"I don't even know...if she's still alive in some way, you know? I don't know what happened to her...I just-"

"Whatever happened, she is still alive in some way, you know. Even if it is just in Aetherius."

"Yeah...I guess you're right."

We were silent for a little longer until I decided to change the subject.

"So, what do you think you'll do now?" I ask.

"I don't know...It feels so strange to have that choice again, to do whatever I want. I'll have to think about it more, what I want to do, but I know at least that whatever it is, it involves getting as far from this college as possible."

"You could always join us on our travels, Jasper. We like to call ourselves the Pride of Portneu – one of the places we saved. It's exclusively made up of Khajiit, but you could pass as an Ohmes-raht, maybe...We'll just say you lost your tail...and you could wear a hood."

Jasper laughs. "As much as I would love to go out traveling the world with you and your friends Smallpaws, I think I should stick closer to home for awhile. I still feel very weak from the whole thing, and I can't seem to be able to use magic anymore, I wouldn't be much help."

"Ah, yeah, well...I understand. Maybe I could come with you then, and we could go back to High Rock together, see the old family...see how frightened they are when I can talk-"

"Someday, perhaps, but you have a long journey ahead of yourself already with your friends first." He laughs before continuing. "And if yesterday was any indication, they need you, Smallpaws. Just as much as you need them. I wouldn't want to be the one to break up the Pride of Portneu."

I frown a bit and sway my head side to side thinking of how to respond.

"Yeah you're right, they'd probably be dead without me." I laugh. "And I wouldn't want to have that on my conscience now, would I? Someday, then, after this is all over and the moons are back..."

I stay silent again, drifting into thought. I feel sad to leave again so soon after just being reunited with him after thinking he was dead the past 2 years, but he's right.

"So, any good pranks you've been doing since you started traveling the world?" Jasper says, changing the subject.

"Oh you bet, the stuff we did back in High Rock was small-time compared to some of the things I've been up to lately, you wouldn't believe it!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me about it then. I find it hard to believe that plaguing half of Wayrest of that ugly skin rash for a week - on Heart's day, even - was small-time."

Both of us laugh together and continue our talk of stories, new and old, for what feels like hours.

* * *

I walk into the dining room and see most everyone else seated already, talking among each other. I stroll around the room looking for Khinashi, and see her sulking at the table, silent and staring at her food. I sigh.

Poor girl, I'd heard about her being trapped in a wall and that's why she wasn't with the rest of us when Muffin broke the spell over us. I can't imagine what she must be feeling right now, she was in there for hours, and it took longer even to just dig her out since magic wouldn't work anymore after Jasper was freed.

There's still so much I don't understand about this place, and what happened last night. I was suspicious of Ceryeas, but I didn't think...anything like this would have happened. I go from falling asleep in the room they let me stay in, to waking up inside another plane of existence with everyone shouting, loud thunder and lightning and lights and shaking, to Smallpaws suddenly being able to talk, reuniting with his old friend none of us ever knew about, and Khinashi being trapped between the walls.

Back then I tried talking to her through the wall, while it was being taken down, but she didn't say much then. A part of me feels like she needs more time to herself before she'll want to talk, but I feel the need to at least tell her that I don't blame her for what happened. I was pretty blunt with her last night about how I felt about the experiment. Sure, those concerns turned out to be warranted, but none of us could have foreseen this, not even Khinashi.

I walk around the table and sit in the chair across from Khinashi. She doesn't look up at me or touch her food. I decide to not press her further right now. I'll wait until after breakfast.

I raise my hand to signal to Wilxton for something to eat, and he looks agitated. I guess that's understandable, he'll have to be making food for everyone at the college now without any magic to make it easier.

"Hey, it's the man and Khajiit of honor! Nice to see you up and about Jasper!" Muffin says excitedly. I look toward the entrance to the room and see Jasper and Smallpaws walking in.

"Yeah, well a good rest and some good food and drink is the best cure for any wound. I like to think so anyway." He says as he sits down.

"Really? You feel that much better already after what you've been through for the past 2 years?" Divyral questions.

"Well, I think it could take many years before I fully recover, and I'm not sure if I'll ever really be the same. I can't seem muster so much as a simple spell anymore, at least for now."

"What? Really? You can't use magic anymore?" Muffin says.

Jasper shrugs. "I don't know if it's permanent. In a way though, it almost feels like a relief. When I was trapped in there, anytime someone used my magic, it was as if I was casting it myself. I knew everything about the spell. How it was cast, why it was, where, when, and who cast it. I pretty much have a complete understanding of it all and - because I do, magic almost...frightens me when I know what it's truly capable of, and what it's capable of doing to people."

I notice Khinashi made a reaction to this. Closing her eyes and clenching her hands and sighing. Still, no attempt has been made to touch her food.

"I understand, Jasper." Divyral says. "A traumatic experience like that will take some time to get passed. In that case, I take it you probably won't be staying with the college for much longer then?"

"Yeah, after I heal some more first. I was planning on leaving just before that all happened, and, no offense to anyone here, but for now I just kind of want to put magic and this college behind me for awhile. Especially now." Jasper says.

"You are welcome to travel with us if you wish, Jasper. Magic or not, your insight could prove useful for helping us find out what happened to the moons." Jizad suggests.

"The mystery of the Void Nights is a tempting offer, but I'm afraid I'll have to turn you down Jizad. I wouldn't be much use on the road now without my magic - I'm not good at any other form of defending myself, and I'm still pretty weak from it all in general. I may seem alright now, but I can feel I'll already have to get some more rest again soon. Although...since you mentioned it, there are some things I've been meaning to tell you all about that experiment Ceryeas did on you, and something else too."

I feel a little uneasy when he said that. I notice some of the others do as well. I think I've heard enough about magical experiments for one day.

"Like I said, when people used my magic, I knew a lot about the spells being casted, including the one Ceryeas was using on all of you. I know it was wrong for him to force you into that, but it still happened, and if you're curious, I could tell you what I learned from it."

"What did you find out?" Jizad asks.

"Well, I found that there is indeed a connection between what forms of Khajiit you are and the moons, down to the signatures in your soul. It's very indistinguishable. If you know how to read the energies a soul gives off, and have something to reference it against, you could tell what form of Khajiit is – or was in life – just by that alone."

I notice Khinashi's ears perk up at this.

"So, was Ceryeas right? Can that connection be used with any magic you know of to bring the moons back from where ever they are?" Jizad says.

"The connection is very weak, but I can tell it was probably stronger with Khajiit newborns before waning off suddenly after birth, after their form was determined. So, no, it wouldn't bring the moons back. Not without sacrificing thousands of Khajiit newborns and using their souls in an ongoing spell maintained constantly by dozens of powerful mages, and I can't tell if that would even bring the physical moons back or just replicate the effect they have on your people at birth."

"Well, it's a good thing Ceryeas didn't learn that or he might have actually considered doing that." Muffin says, and laughs weakly, but then stops when she realizes no one else was laughing.

"There was something else I found peculiar from the experiment though, specific to the signature left behind by your soul, Jizad." Jasper says, as he looks at Jizad closer, inspecting him.

"Oh? What would that be, hmm?" Jizad asks.

Jasper is silent for a few seconds before responding. "I don't know, maybe it was a fluke, but remember that I mentioned how Khajiit souls have a stronger connection to the moons only when they're newborns, before their form is determined? Well, yours hasn't seemed to wane off, it's still just as powerful a connection as when you were very first born."

"You could tell all of that about this one's soul just from that spell?" Jizad asks incredulously. He seemed surprised, and a bit offended.

"I don't think anyone would have been able to if they hadn't been in my situation. Like I said, I had a pretty intimate insight of any spell that was cast with my magic, but there's always a chance that it could have been a fluke. It could have some very interesting implications however if it is true. A few simple tests would reveal if-"

"No no no, this one has had enough tests performed on him, thank you." Jizad interrupts him.

Jasper shrugs. "No problem, I understand."

All of us sit in awkward silence for several seconds. I decided to try to change the subject and move things along.

"So uh...What do you plan to do with Ceryeas?" I ask.

"We'll let the rest of the college professors know what happened when they return, and they can decide. In the meantime we'll leave him stuck in his dimension, it is, unfortunately, the only real way we can contain him until then. After that, who knows? But no one deserves to go through that kind of constant pain and suffering I did, not even Ceryeas." Jasper says.

"So I guess this really does mean no more using magic to sort my books and clean my room for me huh?..." Muffin sighs. "But you're right, not even Ceryeas should suffer like that. I just hope he doesn't learn how to control the college like you did before we get him out of there."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll be fine. It took me months to be able to focus myself enough to do even just what little I was able to, and let's be honest, I was a lot more in-tune with magic than even Ceryeas is." Jasper chuckles.

"I see a couple years of magical imprisonment hasn't changed your attitude, Jasper." Divyral says.

Jasper shrugs and holds up his hands. "I just say it how it is Div, you know me."

Everyone laughs and continues eating their breakfast. Except for Khinashi. She pushes back her chair and stands up to walk away, and I go to follow her after a few seconds.

* * *

Jasper and the walkers keep talking among themselves, while I move across the table to sit next to Ma'ketra. I smile as I look at her.

"So, you have not forgotten about this one after all, now that your best friend has returned. This one would have thought you did not need her anymore, now that you have him, and you can speak to the walkers." Ma'ketra signs, sarcastically, but I can tell there was a hint of sadness in them.

"Don't be silly, Ma'ketra. No one can replace you. I mean, after all, none of them have as fluffy a head to sit on," I sign and laugh.

Ma'ketra laughs too. "Oh, so that is all I am to you, Snorepaws?"

"You know you'll always be my best friend too, Jasper or no Jasper, that won't change. It's because of you that we came to this college, after all, so I owe this all to you. You made that vote to come here end the way it did. You pushed me to seek out the truth when I was too scared to. Thank you, Ma'ketra, and for once I say that without any joke."

"So you are saying for once, it is not Ma'ketra that was the scaredy-cat that needed pushing?"

I chuckle again. "Yes, for once it was me who was the scaredy-cat...At least, until after I got over that initial scare - after that, I was super brave and like, saved you all."

"That passing moment of humility did not last long, no?" She signs.

Before I can respond, I see Jahirr growl for our attention, and he signs to us.

"Do not let your easy victory get to your head, Smallpaws. There will be many trials still before us, and we might not always be so lucky as we did this time."

"Oh come on, Jahirr, can't we get one victory-breakfast before you start being all doom and gloomy again?"

"Evil does not wait to strike until breakfast is over. We must be ever-vigilant." Jahirr signs.

"Wise words, oh mighty Jahirr. This one will keep her claws sharp while she eats." Ma'ketra signs sarcastically.

"Yeah, and where was your ever-vigilance last night? You got mind-controlled just like the rest of them! How come you didn't see that coming?"

"Would you believe this one if he said he was not possessed, and that all of his actions last night were his own?" Jahiir signs.

"Uh, no. I wouldn't." I sign.

"Good, because that would not be true." Jahirr signs as he turns and walks away.

"...Wait, he didn't actually answer my question!" I sign to Ma'ketra, who shrugs.

* * *

I follow Khinashi out of the dining area and into the hallways, away from the others. I try to be quiet so she doesn't notice, but I don't really know why. I don't even know why I started following her, all I know is Khinashi is hurting, and I can't help but want to help her, but I don't know how.

"You know Khinashi knows you are following her, yes?" Khinashi asks at last. Still walking.

I stop for a second and feel awkward, and then walk up faster to her.

"Khinashi, wait-"

"Stop following this one. Go back and eat." Khinashi snaps, still walking away.

"I just want to talk to you-" I start saying.

"This one does not want to talk!" Khinashi shouts, turning around. The expression on her face changes from anger, to sadness, and then to guilt. The fur on her cheeks seems damp from crying more again. "Sorry...Just please, leave her alone right now." She says, turning around to walk away more.

I stand still, not sure of what to do. I still don't even know what I was planning to say. I don't know whether all she needs is to still be alone or if she doesn't know what she wants, but my feet won't move the way I tell them to right now, and they start moving me toward Khinashi again.

"I don't blame you for anything that happened Khinashi, no one here does." I say at last.

Khinashi stops, and her head drops even more. She sighs. "You should. This one almost got all of you killed."

I keep walking toward her. "No...No, Khinashi, that was Ceryeas. Not you. You didn't do that."

"But this one...she brought you all here. Khinashi suggested it."

"We all had a vote, and we all decided to come here based on that vote. We all made the choice, not just you Khinashi." I say, as I reach Khinashi and stand behind her. She turns around to look up at me.

"This one should have known...should have seen through to what Ceryeas was like, what he would do...Khinashi was stupid and naive...everyone else saw it, but not this one..."

"Hey, if we all thought that Ceryeas was going to go crazy and mind control us, wouldn't we have been more prepared for it? He caught us all off guard, not just you Khinashi. There's no way you could have known what was going to happen, and neither did we."

I hold out my arms for her, and Khinashi walks toward me and hugs me tighter than I expected she would. She rests her head against me and I rub and pat her back.

"This one is sorry, J'shabi...She is so sorry..." Khinashi says through her sobs. I feel my shirt getting wet from her tears, but I don't care.

"It's okay Khinashi...All's well that ends well, right?" I say to her, still holding her tightly.

"She just wanted to come to the college to find out...about the moons. To bring them back."

"We'll figure something out. We aren't giving up Khinashi." Khinashi nods, but still sobs some more.

"This one heard...your screams, and the others...This one thought it was too late. She thought-"

"We're okay, we're all okay Khinashi. Smallpaws stopped Ceryeas, he can't hurt us anymore."

"Yeah...This one is sorry that...that Khinashi could not be the one to save you."

"Hey, we're all a team right? We're the Pride of Portneu. We all save each other sometimes, even Smallpaws. You still helped though, you found out that it was dream magic and told Muffin and Divyral. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't do that?"

"Khinashi guesses...This one is sorry that her feelings about magic made her...naive to what was going on. Khinashi will not let that happen again."

"Apology accepted. And I'm sorry to you, if sometimes I seem too untrusting of it. Magic can be dangerous, but...to be honest, Khinashi...it's also what saved us. It's saved us a lot of times, and I know, sometimes, I forget that. I'm sorry for that." I say.

Khinashi sighs. "This one does not know if she wants to continue learning magic. What if she learns too much, and becomes like Ceryeas someday?"

I thought a bit on what she was saying.

"Well, follow your heart. Let that decide for you. I'll tell you though, I would miss some of the things you can do with magic. You do a lot of good things with it."

"'Follow your heart'...That is the same thing Ceryeas told this one...Khinashi does not think she should do that...This one's heart...She worries, would lead her down a dark path of no return."

"I don't believe that, Khinashi. I don't. In all the time I've known you, even when you were being mischievous, or sometimes too curious, you always had a good heart. You cared about me when it felt like no one else did, and you do for everyone we meet. You use your magic like your father to protect people, like the people of Portneu, and Corinthe."

"Maybe...This one hopes you are right, J'shabi. Khinashi wishes she had the same confidence. This one is still not sure what she will do, but thank you."

Khinashi pulls away from me and wipes her eyes and muzzle. I give her a bright smile, and she tries to smile too. Weakly, and only for a moment, but still a smile.

"So, would you be ready to come back to the table with the rest of us? You still haven't eaten yet."

Khinashi chuckles. "Oh, you know Ma'krin will have already taken both of our plates and licked them clean when we left. But yes, this one will join you now...Thank you for talking to Khinashi about this. It means a lot to this one."

"Of course, Khinashi. You're always there for me when I need it. I want to be there for you too. That's what friends do." I say, and smile at her.

* * *

"So, where does the mighty Pride of Portneu plan to go next on their quest to return the moons?" Muffin asks, as both J'shabi and this one walk back in.

Khinashi gave the question some thought...where would we go next? We only thought of the College of Whispers because of that newspaper. If Jasper is right and there does not seem to be any magical connection that can be used to bring them back, at least conventionally, what else can we do?

J'shabi shrugs, as do most of the other pride members.

"I've been giving this some thought, and I might have a suggestion, of sorts..." Jasper says.

"Please, do share, this one is clueless as to how to proceed." Khinashi says.

"Well, from what Smallpaws tells me, it seems like a bit too much of a coincidence that this Ra-Zara'chi upstart kills and impersonates the Mane around the same time that the moons disappear-"

"What? The Mane of Elsweyr was killed and impersonated?" Muffin asks wildly.

"Oh, uh...I thought they might have told you already." Jasper looks to us looking guilty and embarrassed.

"It is okay. We have to be careful who we tell that to, but we can trust all of you. This one saw Ra-Zara'chi's betrayal with her own eyes, but Khinashi and her friends have only had the chance to tell a few others before he sent assassins to try and kill us, before we escaped Elsweyr."

Muffin and Divyral look at us with gaping jaws.

"Wow...This goes a lot deeper than I thought." Muffin says.

"Khinashi has friends in Elsweyr who are already planning to deal with Ra-Zara'chi, but it will take time. In the meantime, we are looking into how, and why, Ra-Zara'chi might have caused the moons to disappear."

"I'm still not sure it's Ra-Zara'chi, it just...still doesn't make sense. How can one Khajiit make the moons disappear?" J'shabi says.

"The moons do not simply disappear without reason." Jizad retorts.

"And that's what brings me to my suggestion. I thought to myself, 'If I wanted to make the moons disappear, how would I go about doing that?'" Jasper says.

"Well, magic, right?" Khinashi asks. "That is the idea that made us come here."

"But let's say conventional magic doesn't work. What else would you do to try to find answers to something you have no idea of the answer to, or maybe you don't even know the question you want to ask?"

"This one does not know...what would you do?"

"Look for an Elder Scroll!" Jasper shouts.

"Oh dear, here we go." Divyral says.

"Something as big as the Void Nights has to be something someone's seen in one of the Elder Scrolls at some point, right? Everyone sees something different in them, and there are dozens in the Imperial City. At least one of the Moth priests must have already foreseen all of this happening, and maybe even how it will end!" Jasper says.

"But then why wouldn't they have told anyone if that were the case? Why haven't they already been bringing them back themselves, or telling the right people how to?" Divyral asks.

"Because maybe someone won't let them," Jasper says, holding up his finger so that he can continue. "Ra-Zara'chi probably would have at least considered the Elder Scrolls as an option at one point, so he would have needed one of them to help him. Except, it wouldn't do any good if that Moth priest then told everyone else about it and how to stop it after it happens." Jasper says.

"Would he not have just had them killed after they helped him, then? He has shown he is willing to take lives to achieve his goals. We would still have no lead." Jizad asks.

"Perhaps, but even if so, a Moth priest doesn't just die without a major investigation taking place, but nothing like that ever happened. If it did, someone wanted it kept quiet enough to never reach the public. Regardless, to even get to the Moth priests in the first place, he would have needed the aid and influence of someone very high up the chain of influence in Cyrodiil. One does not just walk into the Elder Library of the White-Gold tower and ask for their help." Jasper says.

"So you think there's a conspiracy going on from the heart of the Empire, with Moth priests and what, probably an Elder Council member involved? That one of them is working for Ra-Zara'chi and keeping the Moth priest from telling people how to bring the moons back? I think being trapped in that dimension has separated you from reality in more ways than one, Jasper." Divyral says.

"Maybe, but then you have to ask yourself...Why is it that the Empire doesn't seem to care at all that they're gone? I mean even Ceryeas here jumped at the chance to investigate it when the opportunity presented itself. You can't tell me we're the only ones that are curious - or who want the fame and prestige of being the one to bring them back." Jasper says.

Divyral stands expressionless and furrows his brow for a few seconds.

"I suppose it was a bit strange that our fundings were cut almost immediately when we started our research project on it. So was the Synod's, or so I hear." Divyral says.

"So Ra-Zara'chi has ties with someone in the Empire that helped him use the Elder Scrolls to find out how to make the moons vanish, and also to keep anyone afterward from investigating it." J'shabi summarizes.

"Yeah, exactly. So if you find that person and convince them to tell you what they know, then you know how to bring the moons back. " Jasper says.

"I think you might be forgetting the part about how this is someone close to the heart of the Empire, Jasper? Are you really suggesting these kids go around kidnapping and interrogating an Elder Council member on the basis of what is essentially a gut feeling? You're basically telling them to commit treason. That's a death sentence." Divyral says.

"In more ways than one. Even if we are right, if they're working with Ra-Zara'chi, they probably know what we look like, and even may be on the lookout for us – and we kind of stick out like a sore thumb around here. If we get too close, he could just have us captured and sent back to Ra-Zara'chi, assassinated directly, or framed for any crime he wants us to be and sent to prison. That's a lot of ifs and a lot of ways to get killed." J'shabi says.

"Sometimes the only way to get the cheese, the rat has to walk into the trap." Smallpaws says.

Jizad scoffs. "This one thought we would be safer from Ra-Zara'chi outside of Elsweyr."

"Even this one must admit, as much as Khinashi wishes to find how to bring back the moons...us getting ourselves killed will not help that. We only narrowly avoided danger here, how would we fare any better in an even more chaotic and unpredictable situation?" This one says. J'shabi looks at this one in surprise.

"Well...I have a few old magical prank trinkets that could help you remain undetected. Items that could make some of you look like ordinary humans - Imperials, to be exact. I also have an old friend of mine that owes me a favor in the Imperial City that could help you further." Jasper says.

"Why exactly do you have trinkets that make you look like someone else?" J'shabi asks.

"Nothing like pranking someone by making them think you were someone else. The possibilities are endless!" Smallpaws says.

"This friend does not also happen to be an Elder Council member by any chance, no?" Khinashi asks.

"No. He's...a member of the Blades. Specifically, a part of the old intelligence network for the Empire, before the Penitus Oculatus. A spy. If anyone who knows how to help you get the information you need, it's him. He's a professional. He'll keep you safe." Jasper says.

"Are you sure we can trust him? It has been two years since you last could have talked to him, yes?" Khinashi asks.

"Yes. I have faith in him that you can. He'll probably be particularly interested in helping when you tell him about Ra-Zara'chi, actually. I helped him out with some magical enchantments on a few of my trips to the Imperial City during the summers here. It almost felt like he knew my life story before I even told him my name. He already knew that too." Jasper says.

All of us stand there in silence, pondering over everything, very uneasily. This one frowns, looking to J'shabi, who is shaking her head slowly.

"Come on, Khinashi, you out of all of us must at least understand, right? This is our chance to get to the good stuff - the meat of the mystery, isn't that what you've wanted?" Smallpaws says, walking over to this one.

"Yes, but...this one has been careless before, she does not want to decide something like this that could put us all in harms way again." Khinashi says.

"Whatever way you look at it, bringing the moons back was never going to be easy, Khinashi. There was always going to be danger involved. Ra-Zara'chi probably spent years of his life planning for this, he was never going to be someone easy to take down and thwart his plans. If you truly want the moons back, you're just going to have to accept that, well...some of us, maybe even you, might not make it all the way, alive, to see them again." Smallpaws says.

This one frowns and looks to the ground, full of guilt and torn between what to decide. J'shabi comes up to this one and puts her arm around this one's shoulder.

"But just remember. If not us, then who? Who else wants the moons back as much as we do, that's close enough to the Empire to do this and knows the truth about Ra-Zara'chi? It's not the College of Whispers, or the Synod, or any other big organization. Ra-Zara'chi's man is keeping them out of it. It's not the other little guys either, they either don't have the passion or the information we do, and anyone else who's still trying is probably being picked away one by one by the guy we'd be going after to stop. Sure, we're just kids. But we're also Khajiit. The one and only thing that's ever brought our people together was the moons, and as Khajiit, we should all be willing to do whatever it takes to bring them back."

This one is surprised by the conviction in Smallpaws. Has this always resided in him, and was only able to come out now because he can talk? Khinashi looks up after pondering his words and looks everyone in the eyes to see their feelings. Mixed, among most. They do not seem convinced.

Khinashi is not sure she is either...but...suddenly, this one remembers something.

"...'And Khajiit must be the best climbers, for if Masser and Secunda fail, they must climb Khenarthi's breath to set the moons back in their courses'." This one says. "Khinashi has always wondered what those words might have meant from the words of Ahnissi, but Khinashi thinks she understands now. To climb is to never give up, to keep going until you reach the top, to persevere against all odds set against us. Khajiit were meant to be able to keep going despite any obstacle, despite any opposition, and through all hardships, to do whatever it takes to protect the moons, just as they protect us from the infighting of each other. If we stop now, then we as the climbers let go, and let the fate of the Khajiiti fall as the moons have...and this one cannot let that happen. Will you?" Khinashi spoke to her friends.

There was a lot of signing going on, and J'shabi and Jizad looked at everyone to see how they felt about this. Eventually, J'shabi sighed, and everyone looked over to Khinashi and Smallpaws.

"So what do you say, fellow Pride members, do you want to go to the Imperial City and get to the heart of this mystery directly, and really find out what happened to the moons?" Smallpaws asks.

All of us looked at him with a determination that would rival Ra-Zara'chi in every way, until we bring back the moons and remove him from his throne and save all of Elsweyr from his dark ambit-

A bowl of soup splashes into Jasper's face, and he stands up drenched and picking off wasted noodles and vegetables from his robes.

"I told you I'd get back at you for that, Jasper." Smallpaws says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of the College of Whisper's story arc. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought of Smallpaws being the star of this story arc. I'm excited to continue the Pride's POV into the Imperial City, but before that, we'll be visiting Dar'Zhar-do's POV again and seeing his story continue. I'll give you a little teaser for that: The working title for his subplot will be "Blood and Sand in the Streets of Senchal"
> 
> If you use DeviantART, feel free to check out my page there under the same username for quite a few small lorebooks and short stories I'm writing for the story as a smaller side project, if you want. A few more will be posted soon about the lore I'm creating for Senchal, in preparation for the next chapters.


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